Charging family and friends for Christmas dinner

Lullabelle

Midlands, England
Joined
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I have been reading on the BBC website about people charging family and friends for Christmas dinner.

It appears to have sparked quite a debate.

Hosting dinner can be very expensive so to a point I appreciate where the idea comes from but charging seems extreme.

On December 27th my husband's eldest brother and his wife invite everyone for a meal, we all contribute towards the meal, we take samosas, clearing and washing up is done between us so they don't have to shoulder everything. I am more than happy to contribute and wash up.

Would you ask for a contribution, food or money?
 
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Lb, I bought this up on another site a while ago, we entertain a lot and it gets costly, my wife said we should charge or ask for a donation. We normally do 3 courses so for 6 it could cost us $100 if having fillet steaks. I'm ok with it but my wife thinks not. I believe if you want your friends around you should cover it. I've often been told I'm too generous.

Russ
 
If you can't afford to host a meal don't offer to unless its stated from the get go as a potluck and then its a given people bring a dish or two to pass. But charge? That seems rather tacky.

Yeah, that's what I thought as well. We do potluck as well at times.

Russ
 
I would NEVER ask for a guest to contribute monetarily to a meal at my house.

At most, I'll ask someone to bring an appetizer or dessert, or just a bottle of wine.

My old buddy used to host a 3 day pig roast on the weekend around his birthday every June, and he had no qualms in passing around a hat to help offset the costs. Since dozens of people would show up, many camping in tents in his backyard for the weekend, it got to be a costly proposition.

It worked out quite well for him, though. He usually made a coupla hundred bucks. Well, that was largely due to many of us close friends donating a lot of booze and food just to get the party started. I bought and donated the pig every year, and another friend donated a lamb, then I took the first overnight shift on Friday cooking the thing once it was up on the spit.

By Saturday afternoon, we needed 2 guys to cook the animals: 1 to baste them and maintain the coals, and another to fend off the increasingly drunk and hungry crowd until it was ready.

There was a lot of other food available: burgers, dogs, steaks, and such, but everyone was waiting for the spit roasts.

My buddy owned a small landscaping business, so most of the guests were other landscapers, tree specialists, and men from other very physical jobs, so the crowd was very rowdy. 2 or 3 biker clubs showed up every year, so I was also usually armed, just to keep the peace.

But as rough and tumble everyone was, almost everyone put something in the hat.
 
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Bt, Kool story, man I'd love to go to one of them. I recently put on a do for all my family and friends, prolly cost me around $400 with seafood as well. Pig on a rotisserie. Around 45 people. I don't mind looking after those close to me.

Russ
 
I would never ask someone to contribute towards a meal or party I've invited them to in my house - I cater to my wallet: if I can't afford it then I don't serve it or I invite fewer people. People coming over usually ask if they can bring anything so we just say to bring a bottle of something to drink, but that's it. Equally I think I'd be a bit put out if someone was expecting me to contribute financially to a meal I was invited to at their house. From a purely financial point of view, even if you splurge out on expensive food when hosting (which I don't tend to do anyway because a lot of the cheaper foods are just as tasty if properly cooked), you're probably still spending less than you would going out to a mediocre restaurant.

I wonder if those people are really "charging" people for Christmas lunch, or if they have all agreed to contribute so they can spend the time together without putting too much financial pressure on one party? Christmas dinner can get expensive, particularly you are caught up by the all the must-have marketing hype (I wonder how much food gets wasted? :() so I don't see anything wrong with people agreeing to pool resources to spread the cost - as long as its something you all agree to.
 
I wouldn't feel comfortable charging friends or family for dinner. Depends on what you feel comfortable with. You know them better than we do. In recent years, friendsgiving get-togethers have become more popular. The dinner is held on Thanksgiving or close to the holidays. The Host makes the main dish and friends bring the side dishes. The dinner doesn't have to be made with the most expensive ingredients. It can be done on a budget. The most important thing is spending quality time with friends and family. Happy holidays.
 
It really depends on whether or not people are willing to go along with it. I'd say that most would prefer dividing the responsibilities (I make the turkey, you make the sides, someone else brings the booze).

The only context where charging for a meal seems acceptable is if it's a going-away party or some kind where a gift is included with the fee. People have no issue whatever with shelling out cash - even if it seems somewhat high - to avoid having to deal with all the planning required to actually pull the meal together. I currently have a crazy number of people retiring from Ford by the end of the year: 24 people I know with 30+ years in who are all retiring this year. Fortunately, I haven't been invited to all the parties, or I wouldn't have money for my own family's Christmas presents: the one I'm attending is a lunch that cost me $30; that includes food, soft drinks, and the gift, but no alcohol. :eek:
 
If anyone volunteers to bring something, I might ask them to bring diet sodas, salad, or dinner rolls. Charging people for dinner sounds more like a charity event or fundraiser, where the proceeds go to a specific cause or charity.
 
I'd say I'm a hypocrite about this: if my in-laws decided that they wanted to charge a flat fee for the holiday meal, and I didn't have to bring anything, I'd be fine with paying it.

But, I can't see myself asking for the same of them. I'd probably be willing to pay for someone to help me with the prep of food that I bought, just to reduce the stress.
 
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