Lutefisk comes from the Old Norse, meaning, Do you feel lucky? Lutefisk is a Scandinavian delicacy, which we all know is code for “wow, does this suck”. Lutefisk is cod fish that’s been hung on racks and dried in the open air until it resembles fish jerky. But it’s not done yet. You might chip a tooth on cod jerky, so you have to soften it up a bit before you can eat it. So, you reconstitute the cod in lye (yes, the same lye used to make soap, declog drains, and clean ovens). As your cod soaks in its lye bath, it starts to gelatinize. And, tiny detail — it’s also poisonous. To make it edible again, it must be rinsed and soaked in water (that you constantly change) for four to six days. Four is probably death, so I’d go with six.
Now that your Lutefisk is technically edible, you need to cook it. Back in St. Olaf, you cooked your lutefisk in big enamel pots in your kitchen. And because few smells are more offensive than Lutefisk boiling on the stovetop, this is an outstanding way to clear the house of any holiday company that’s on your last good nerve. Is it really that bad, you ask? Lutefisk will singe your nose hairs — it smells like a dead fish wrapped in a sweaty sock left to ferment in a teenage boy’s bedroom. Mmmm, Mmmm.
