A picky eater challenge

The OMWC

The OMWC

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So... I've started dating again, an interesting challenge at my age ("This is the scratch and dent sale at the Used People lot"). I've gone out with a very nice and lovely woman several times, and now I'm going to make her dinner.

First handicap: I'm a vegetarian, she's not. That's usually OK because I have a pretty wide repertoire of food I can cook that will satisfy omnivores. However, this time, I'm dealing with a self-described picky eater. Here's the partial list of "Things She Won't Eat":

Bell peppers of any sort
Cumin
"Indian spices"
Garbanzos
Cilantro
Uncooked tomatoes
Goat cheese
Anything with hot peppers
Anything topped with or containing nuts

I think I can serve her salt, but I'm running out of ideas beyond that. Normally, she lives off salmon, chicken, potatoes, and the occasional Brussels sprouts. She told me that my signature Brussels sprouts dishes are not something appealing.

Yes, I know the easy answer ("Find someone else":D). Provisionally, I'm going to make a salad and a pizza, but I'm scratching my head about coming up with a finer choice...
 
Well, that won’t be any fun long-term; I have a couple of picky eaters in my extended family, and I really don’t cater to them any longer, because I’ll be damned if I’m going to make two versions of a dish, and I’m sure not going to punish everyone else for one person’s picky palate.

That said, since it’s just the two of you, maybe deconstruct that pizza and use those elements to make a slightly more upscale pasta dish, homemade bread on the side…that might be a little more romantic than a pizza (but if a young lady had made me pizza in dating years, I would have been hers. I’m a cheap date!).
 
TastyReuben said:
Well, that won’t be any fun long-term; I have a couple of picky eaters in my extended family, and I really don’t cater to them any longer, because I’ll be damned if I’m going to make two versions of a dish, and I’m sure not going to punish everyone else for one person’s picky palate.

That said, since it’s just the two of you, maybe deconstruct that pizza and use those elements to make a slightly more upscale pasta dish, homemade bread on the side…that might be a little more romantic than a pizza (but if a young lady had made me pizza in dating years, I would have been hers. I’m a cheap date!).
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My late wife used pizza as my audition- if mine hadn't met her standards, there would not have been a second date. It did and she was mine for the next 15 years. :D

Hmmm, wonder how she'd do with some home-made ravioli...
 
I'm thinking soups, ravioli, pizza, pancakes, spanish potato tortilla?

As for dealing with picky eaters: I have two autistic stepsons, one with an eating disorder and the other is picky too. It gets frustrating when you love to cook, but my husband eats everything so he makes up for it.

Just ask yourself if you can live with someone who doesn't share this big passion of yours. I know I couldn't but that's personal. I love that my husband adores my food. But it doesn't have to be a deal breaker of course.
 
Windigo said:
Just ask yourself if you can live with someone who doesn't share this big passion of yours.
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I do, it's one of the things giving me pause, but most other aspects are really good. So given the incredibly limited options, compromise somewhere is going to be necessary. I'd rather it be there than, say, work ethic, sense of responsibility, trustworthiness, emotional stability, intelligence.
ravioli, pizza, pancakes, spanish potato tortilla
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She noted that the overlap in our Venn diagram seems to be all really fattening things. :D
 
I´ve got a whole family full of picky eaters. My mum and my sister believe that eating vegetables means eating tomatoes, carrots, potatoes,swede, runner beans, parsnips, sprouts and cauliflower. Things like aubergines, courgettes, peppers, broccoli rabe, okra, artichokes, pumpkin, bok choy - nah, too foreign. Beans are all right, as long as they´re baked, but cannelli, borlotti, kidney, navy, and butter beans, as well as chickpeas, brown lentils, and Indian dhal are not even included. Dishes that come from anywhere in the Mediterranean, the Middle East, the far East, or anywhere else in the world, are simply not on. Their vast range of spices includes salt AND pepper. My sister´s son (my nephew) is also exceedingly picky. When a dish is presented to him that he hasn´t tried before, the comment is always " I don´t think I´m going to like that".
I just gave up years ago, and cook them the same old, same old.
 
I have to admit, I love the subject of pickiness. I do make a distinction between a picky eater and an "I don't like that" eater.

I don't like a lot of things (squash of any kind, seafood, mushrooms), which means when left to my own devices, you won't see me making those for myself or eating those, but...if I come to your house and you serve them, I'll eat them, no problem. If my wife really wants something from that list, I'll make it and eat it, but I won't enjoy it all that much.

Picky, to me, falls into a whole new area, where there's a certain amount of fussiness or even suspicion involved, or there seems to be something irrational or illogical going on. For the former, I mean something like constantly asking, for every dish they're served, "Does this have peppers in it? I hate peppers! I can't eat them!" - to me, "can't" means, "I'm allergic and will drop over dead if I eat that." What it doesn't mean is, "I don't like that." - you can eat something you don't like, you just won't like it.

Fussiness can also mean a laundry list of things they won't eat (to me, that's where your date falls, The OMWC): "I won't eat bell peppers...or onions...or cheese or beets or lemons or lamb or duckortomatoesorstrawberriesorflourorwaterorair!" - that's just going through life and looking for things to complain about and to set yourself apart ("ain't I special!") from others.

The latter, the illogical part, is what I get from some family members, which are statements like, "I'm allergic to onions."

"Oh, so no onions then? Got it."
"Well, I can eat them if they're small enough that I can't see them."
"You're not allergic then, you're just picky."
"No, I'm allergic! They leave a strong taste in my mouth!"
"That's because it's an onion, dearie." :facepalm:

Those are the people I no longer cater to. I don't want to serve you something that'll kill you, but I'm also not going encourage behavior like that.

karadekoolaid said:
When a dish is presented to him that he hasn´t tried before, the comment is always " I don´t think I´m going to like that".
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I think I asked on here a long time ago what kind of person each poster sees themselves as, the kind who, when presented with a new dish says, "Oh, can't wait to try that!" or the kind who says, "Hmmm...I'm probably not going to like that."

I'll completely own up to being the latter, though I'll probably try it. It just depends on the circumstances.
 
Yeah - picky is my sis, who will eat raw tomatoes, but not if they´re baked. Or "I´ll have a pizza - but I can´t stand the crust". Or my chile con carne which, if I don´t blitz all the ingredients except the beef, will end up with little piles of onion, peppers and tomato skins round the plate.
 
The OMWC said:
Bell peppers of any sort
Cumin
"Indian spices"
Garbanzos
Cilantro
Uncooked tomatoes
Goat cheese
Anything with hot peppers
Anything topped with or containing nuts
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Well, that list is not so difficult. Are those the only things she won't eat? Cilantro and goat's cheese can be forgiven. A lot of people have that genetic thing where cilantro tastes 'soapy' and I do know lots of people who find goat's cheese a bit 'funky'.

So you are left with 'any sort of peppers' being a problem and some spices - although its unclear what Indian spices might include. Then we have nuts - not that many dishes contain them and in fact I rarely use them. Uncooked tomatoes? No problem! Loads of dishes contain cooked tomatoes: pasta for example?

Maybe you should ask her what ingredients she likes. Then you could build dishes from that.

EDIT: you did mention she eats salmon, chicken and potatoes. No green vegetables? Chicken is versatile and so are potatoes. Maybe there is something you could do using those?
 
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karadekoolaid said:
My sister´s son (my nephew) is also exceedingly picky. When a dish is presented to him that he hasn´t tried before, the comment is always " I don´t think I´m going to like that".
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My brother and sister fell into this group when I was bringing them up. I had a policy that I never told them what a dish was or what was in it until they had eaten it, by which I mean all if it. If it was something they genuinely didn't like, fine, but I won't and didn't put up with the 'I don't like' if they hadn't even tried it. I knew the cooking their real father had subjected them to, and understood not eating his food (very limited repertoire and all of it badly cooked). I had no issues them going hungry every now and again (both were very overweight kids).

Point blank refusing to cook separately for them and them actually finding out they liked foods they had previously not liked that had been made by their father, actually got them eating almost anything to the point where my little brother went on to become a chef.
Morning Glory said:
Well, that list is not so difficult. Are those the only things she won't eat?
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See below...
The OMWC said:
Here's the partial list of "Things She Won't Eat":

Bell peppers of any sort
Cumin
"Indian spices"
Garbanzos
Cilantro
Uncooked tomatoes
Goat cheese
Anything with hot peppers
Anything topped with or containing nuts
Click to expand...
I think that would drive me mad. No nuts? No Indian spices? We live off both of those. No chickpeas! :eek: We eat them almost everyday.

Luckily for me, because it was me cooking whilst he worked, my then boyfriend, now husband, was happy to be an "economic vegetarian" as he called it... he gave up dairy at home when I developed the allergy to dairy. He does occasionally still eat dairy when he's away from home but actually chooses to easy vegan most of the time. He doesn't both taking advantage of being away from home to eat meat/fish though because he finds he doesn't enjoy it any more.
 
The OMWC here's my two cents:
Keep it simple.
I know for me, that first time I cooked for my now husband, I made this really nice, what I thought was at the time, Italian meal for him at his apartment. It didn't go well.
She likes Salmon, how about playing off that?
Teriyaki or Miso glazed or just straight up grilled piece of fish, a Caesar Salad, ooh! an appetizer maybe?
And by the way, are you going to run the menu past here before hand?

As a side note: if I were to find myself widowed, I don't know if I would even attempt dating again ... I give you props!!
 
The OMWC said:
Bell peppers of any sort
Cumin
"Indian spices"
Garbanzos
Cilantro
Uncooked tomatoes
Goat cheese
Anything with hot peppers
Anything topped with or containing nuts
Click to expand...

Soooo, pretty much any peppers are out. Cumin is not hard to work around. Same with nuts. I completely understand the cilantro, as one who has that gene that makes it taste like soap. I'll eat garbanzos, but I'd rather not. Fresh tomatoes are out of season, so I wouldn't use them now, anyway. Goat cheese is only one of MANY cheeses. And, I don't like Indian spices, either, so that wouldn't be a roadblock for me.

Also, when I make spicy foods for guests, I keep it mild, and put a variety of hot sauces on the table for people to use... or not use.

May I suggest Spaghetti aglio e olio...

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzpVmyzbYLg


CD
 
As I cook almost exclusively for myself, I have few problems. Fish with bones in, yes; overly sweet dishes, yes; rats and insects, yes. Other than that I'm pretty easy to cater for.
 
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