Caregivers’ chat

My dearest, dearest husband has already been through the ringer over the past year-year and a half and then NOW, poor dear, he gets up the other morning and he's got himself right nasty Stye Eye! How do I know this for certain you might ask? My younger sister got them ALOT as a kid.

DH: No, no, I'm fine it'll be okay in a coupla days
Moi: No it won't - *calls doc's office and gets an appointment for the next day * - There! You're seeing Dr. C and that's that.
DH: BUT ....
Moi: *turns around and walks away* that's that!
Okay, so that's all sorted out - antibiotics and a hot compress for 10 days.

Last night, I'm in bed, just about to fall asleep and DH comes rushing in to the room ...
DH: Dear, Dear! Wake up! Something awful has happened!
I jump up in a start, "WHAT!?"
He shows me this:

IMG_3789.JPG

Back in the 80's, having veneers on your teeth was all the rage.
DH had his anterior teeth done, against my advise (I'm a Board Certified Dental Assistant)
Anywhos, one fell off!!!
Moi: Does it hurt you at all? Hot or cold sensitivity?
DH: No
Moi: Did the veneer come off into your hand or something?
DH: No, I was eating a cracker that seemed really crunchy and ... *he trails off* I think I swallowed it, damn it!
Moi: *sheer laughter* Well, it'll come out one way or another

Oh my poor dear
 
TastyReuben said:
Very sorry you’re going through all that, and it says something that you’re still willing to try and get her affairs administered.

Oddly, my mom has turned exactly opposite. For as long as my sister has existed, the two have hated each other, and I mean real, mortal hatred, constantly at each other’s throats - I’ve said it before, and I’m not exaggerating…over the years, the rest of us were all mentally prepared for the day one did away with the other, in a fit of anger.

Now, though…my mom treats my sister better than gold, looks forward to their daily visits, tells everyone at the home what a good daughter she is and how proud she is of her, she’s so pretty, she’s such a good cook, on and on. It’s mind-boggling.

Good luck with getting through your mom’s stuff and hopefully, you’ll get it all straight and can just take a little break from it.





P.S. - Mom’s latest thing is that she and my dad are “hidin’ out from the law - don’t tell no one where we are!” 🤷‍♂️
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Soz I know it was a while ago you posted this but It's been on my mind I hadn't replied, I just felt too sore about it all.
Now I'm happier and and see a way through it so I wanted to say thanks for that message I appreciated it at the time and it cheered me up.
 
I truly hope that everyone who's shared on this sub-forum, or who will share, continues cooking. Please, please, please keep that source of joy, and don't let yourself get to swamped by the events of your life.

I know. Easier said than done. But, I'm realizing this as I deal with not only my daughter's issues, but lately also my wife's. My daughter has an inoperable brain tumor, as I've mentioned, and there are continuing issues with her, whether it's the periodic emotional issues, or the realization that she will never be able to take care of herself. The good news is that her behaviour has been a lot better lately. As the old saying goes, I'm thankful for small mercies.

The last several months, we've also been dealing with my wife having a fungal infection. We're not sure if it was caught in Belize (when we went to the rain forest...most likely there) or Panama or Greece or another of the fun places we've visited, but these are things that tend to originate in hot climates. And, they mimic symptoms found in more common ailments, like eczema, except that the symtoms are more severe. We've been to countless doctor appointments. We were in the emergency room at a hospital on Saturday. The challenge is that doctors don't want to test her hair samples. They say we need an infectious disease specialist. But, the infectious disease specialists not only need a primary health care provide to refer her to them, but they also apparently have the right to reject her as a patient if they don't believe it's a severe enough case.

Things are not life-and-death, but it's hard to get that across when you're married to someone who has always worried about ****EVERYTHING****. I've seen her obsess about what's going on with her hair or her weight...but, she's always been small and her hair looks great.

Now, she has an actual thing to worry about, and of course all her own research shows that there are fungal infections that have strains that can be fatal. We have a family doctor who recently retired, and he basically checked out the last 6 months of his career. He decided at some point, knowing what a worrier she is, that she's just worrying over nothing. We can't verify this, but here's a decent chance that his words carry a lot of weight, having cared for her since she was a teenager. It could be that other doctors see what he put in her file, and they're brushing her off.

Still, she has a strong anti-fungal treatment that seems to be helping. But, this isn't a simple thing, and she's understandably frustrated that she's not back to normal yet after over a month. She obsessively cleans everything over and over again now. This means our house is a lot cleaner, but it's not worth what it's doing to her emotionally.

Now, I'm trying to get someone to please just test the samples she has so we can get the results. I really think there's nothing there, and I'd love for her to see that so she can finally slow down and relax a bit.

The fun thing lately is that my wife and daughter seem to be unintentionally competing to see who has the more serious medical problems. My job in all this is to try to calm people down and listen to the facts. But, unfortunately, when someone is so entrenched with a belief, it's almost impossible to get them out of it.

So, like I said at the top, I'm trying to just go on and do the things that I enjoy, like cooking.
 
The Late Night Gourmet said:
I truly hope that everyone who's shared on this sub-forum, or who will share, continues cooking. Please, please, please keep that source of joy, and don't let yourself get to swamped by the events of your life.

I know. Easier said than done. But, I'm realizing this as I deal with not only my daughter's issues, but lately also my wife's. My daughter has an inoperable brain tumor, as I've mentioned, and there are continuing issues with her, whether it's the periodic emotional issues, or the realization that she will never be able to take care of herself. The good news is that her behaviour has been a lot better lately. As the old saying goes, I'm thankful for small mercies.

The last several months, we've also been dealing with my wife having a fungal infection. We're not sure if it was caught in Belize (when we went to the rain forest...most likely there) or Panama or Greece or another of the fun places we've visited, but these are things that tend to originate in hot climates. And, they mimic symptoms found in more common ailments, like eczema, except that the symtoms are more severe. We've been to countless doctor appointments. We were in the emergency room at a hospital on Saturday. The challenge is that doctors don't want to test her hair samples. They say we need an infectious disease specialist. But, the infectious disease specialists not only need a primary health care provide to refer her to them, but they also apparently have the right to reject her as a patient if they don't believe it's a severe enough case.

Things are not life-and-death, but it's hard to get that across when you're married to someone who has always worried about ****EVERYTHING****. I've seen her obsess about what's going on with her hair or her weight...but, she's always been small and her hair looks great.

Now, she has an actual thing to worry about, and of course all her own research shows that there are fungal infections that have strains that can be fatal. We have a family doctor who recently retired, and he basically checked out the last 6 months of his career. He decided at some point, knowing what a worrier she is, that she's just worrying over nothing. We can't verify this, but here's a decent chance that his words carry a lot of weight, having cared for her since she was a teenager. It could be that other doctors see what he put in her file, and they're brushing her off.

Still, she has a strong anti-fungal treatment that seems to be helping. But, this isn't a simple thing, and she's understandably frustrated that she's not back to normal yet after over a month. She obsessively cleans everything over and over again now. This means our house is a lot cleaner, but it's not worth what it's doing to her emotionally.

Now, I'm trying to get someone to please just test the samples she has so we can get the results. I really think there's nothing there, and I'd love for her to see that so she can finally slow down and relax a bit.

The fun thing lately is that my wife and daughter seem to be unintentionally competing to see who has the more serious medical problems. My job in all this is to try to calm people down and listen to the facts. But, unfortunately, when someone is so entrenched with a belief, it's almost impossible to get them out of it.

So, like I said at the top, I'm trying to just go on and do the things that I enjoy, like cooking.
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Thats A LOT to be dealing with.
Hope the reassurance and confirmations that are needed come soon.
Sending good wishes your way.
 
The Late Night Gourmet said:
So, like I said at the top, I'm trying to just go on and do the things that I enjoy, like cooking.
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I endorse that 1,000% . It seems like many of us have "care" issues, whether it be dementia, Parkinson's, Alzheimers, cerebral palsy, severe medical conditions, cancer treatment, etc., and we all get on with it. One thing it does demonstrate is that sickness doesn't choose the rich, the poor, the underprivileged, the comfortable middle class, the gender, the race - it's perfectly democratic and targets EVERYbody. We have to manage it and, in 99% of cases, we do so extremely well. I've lost my entire family over the past 2 years and still have to manage my son who has cerebral palsy, thanks to a medical cock up at birth. It happened, so there's no point in wailing or gnashing of teeth; we've got to manage it and get on with life.
So yes, enjoy what you enjoy, and enjoy it even more when problems occur.
 
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