Grief and Food

[ElizabethB]

Do you have any food traditions associated with funerals and grieving families?

In the south U.S. we bring food to the home of grieving families. Family and friends usually congregate at the home of the family or a friend's home after a funeral service. Gifts of food are brought by family and friends. Most of my family is Catholic. The Church of the bereaved has a committee of men and women who provide a meal to the bereaved family.

My heart is heavy.

My young cousin (51) died Wednesday evening. Her Mother is my Mother's sister. We call her Sis. She is very much an older sister to me. I am the eldest of 7 children. In the early 60's Sis lived with us while attending the university. We shared a bed.

Sis's daughter - Louise - was a beautiful young woman. She was a councilor to troubled children. She went way beyond her job requirements. She took troubled young men and women under her wing and taught them what it was like to be valued and loved. She touched the hearts, minds and spirits of so many people.

I am having trouble typing because I can not stop the tears.

 

[Morning Glory]

My thoughts are with you. A difficult time for you. 51 is too young to die.

In the UK funeral food traditions vary according to religion or beliefs. My mother died not so long ago at 97. She was a life long agnostic and my sister arranged a natural burial in a lovely woodland setting. We had no preacher or vicar - just the family speaking about our memories. Afterwards we went to the clubhouse sited in the grounds and drank beer, wine and ate a cold buffet with dogs running around. There wasn't really anything special in terms of food. My Mum was a vegetarian but I think we did cater for meat eaters!

 

[Francesca]

Do you have any food traditions associated with funerals and grieving families?

In the south U.S. we bring food to the home of grieving families. Family and friends usually congregate at the home of the family or a friend's home after a funeral service. Gifts of food are brought by family and friends. Most of my family is Catholic. The Church of the bereaved has a committee of men and women who provide a meal to the bereaved family.

My heart is heavy.

My young cousin (51) died Wednesday evening. Her Mother is my Mother's sister. We call her Sis. She is very much an older sister to me. I am the eldest of 7 children. In the early 60's Sis lived with us while attending the university. We shared a bed.

Sis's daughter - Louise - was a beautiful young woman. She was a councilor to troubled children. She went way beyond her job requirements. She took troubled young men and women under her wing and taught them what it was like to be valued and loved. She touched the hearts, minds and spirits of so many people.

I am having trouble typing because I can not stop the tears.

Firstly, all my most profound and deepest condolences to you and your family. So so sorry ..

As far as funeral "wakes" go, my parents are just 70 and 72 .. And my 2 grandmoms are 90 and 91 and my grandfathers are 93. I have not had a Spanish or Catalan death in the immediate family. My inlaws are the same age as my parents and my husband´s grand parents as well ..

I am sure it is similar to the Italian Catholic Wakes, except with Catalan traditional dishes .. However, I will ask my parents and grandparents ..

Once again all my best and take care ..

 

[Francesca]

Firstly, all my most profound and deepest condolences to you and your family. So so sorry ..

As far as funeral "wakes" go, my parents are just 70 and 72 .. And my 2 grandmoms are 90 and 91 and my grandfathers are 93. I have not had a Spanish or Catalan death in the immediate family. My inlaws are the same age as my parents and my husband´s grand parents as well ..

I am sure it is similar to the Italian Catholic Wakes, except with Catalan traditional dishes .. However, I will ask my parents and grandparents ..

Once again all my best and take care ..

This sympathy meal "breaks bread" and is a time to remember the person who passed and thus, all the specialties of one´s traditions and in our región, it would be: Tapas to start, Fideuà ( a vermicelli paella), Paella with Shellfish, Lasagne or Baked Pastas and Fish & Shellfish Stews.

 

[Lynne Guinne]

...My heart is heavy.

My young cousin (51) died Wednesday evening....I am having trouble typing because I can not stop the tears.

@ElizabethB, I am so sorry to read this! 51 - young, but she accomplished so much good in such a short time. Let that console you, along with all of the good memories you have from the years your family had with her. I'd give you a big ol' hug, but you're nearly 1600 miles away. How 'bout I say a prayer instead...

My family heritage is Polish and Catholic. Taking food to the family has been tradition around here, along with a shared meal after the burial, usually in the gathering room of the funeral home. On my side of the family, usually that means food eaten quietly, with conversations conducted in hushed tones. On hubby's Slovak Catholic side of the family, that means a big, old party after the funeral, often at the home of the deceased, laughing about all the fun you remember having with them. Personally, I prefer option two. In fact, if I ever know that my time is short, I'll throw my own going-away party before I die.

 

[toddhicks209]

My condolences.

 

[ElizabethB]

Thank you all for your kind words, wishes and thoughts.

@Lynne Guinne

A hug would be lovely. Your prayers are greatly appreciated. Please pray specifically for Ida Ruth and Lezime. My sweet cousins parents.

This really is a kind and loving community.

 

[ElizabethB]

I am stuffing a pork roast and assembling an asparagus artichoke heart casserole to bring to the family gathering after my cousin's funeral.

I realized that the process of cooking is healing. I am so crazy. Tears are salting my dishes but I am also laughing over silly things that I have shared with my lovely cousin.

Cooking for family and friends heals the chef.

 

[LadyBelle]

I'm sorry for your loss Elizabeth.

In Wales its traditional to visit a family before the funeral mewn cydamdeimlad (in sympathy), and its normally the case that you would take along some bara brith - which is a fat free tea soaked fruit cake.

I agree with you about cooking being a great healer. Few years ago I lost a cousin to cancer at a young age (49) and I found it very therapeutic to bake loaves of bara brith to take to his parents.