Guests at lunch/dinner .. etiquette and surroundings

Francesca said:
@toddhicks209.

The simplest way to visit someone´s home, is to ask them, what they might like. If they drink wine for example, a nice bottle of wine or sparkling wine is always welcomed.

If not, a Non Alcoholic Sparkling Cider for example, or a dessert .. It says, you appreciate their invitation and it is good to see them again or to meet them if you do not know the people.

This is "common sense" and "international protocol" ..

I never go empty handed to someone´s home for dinner or lunch, never !

Not even my parents or sons homes .. I always bring an appreciative something ..

Have a nice day.
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If it's close friends or family it is quite normal here to ask if you should take anything in particular (sometimes the response will be "Yes please, can you do the pudding/ bring some cheese/do a starter" etc.) but in any event I would never dream of going empty handed. It is also considered better form to take something home-made or grown, as opposed to bought.
 
Francesca said:
@toddhicks209.

The simplest way to visit someone´s home, is to ask them, what they might like. If they drink wine for example, a nice bottle of wine or sparkling wine is always welcomed.

If not, a Non Alcoholic Sparkling Cider for example, or a dessert .. It says, you appreciate their invitation and it is good to see them again or to meet them if you do not know the people.

This is "common sense" and "international protocol" ..

I never go empty handed to someone´s home for dinner or lunch, never !

Not even my parents or sons homes .. I always bring an appreciative something ..

Have a nice day.
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Definitely agree.
Even I have never made empty-handed to someone's house or if it happened, like last weekend (but because we did not find anything to bring) we have send a beautiful bouquet of flowers in the house of the person who invited us to lunch. In that case it was a distant relative of my husband, it seemed just and polite to return so kindly. Obviously also because it's a person my husband did not see for so many years and for me was the first time and is an old aunt.
However, sometimes when you ask "what I can bring" many times people answer "nothing at all, be quiet". Panic. It's true they told me not to bring anything, but I think it's a good thing to bring at least a little gift or something to share (pastries, wine, etc).
 
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epicuric said:
If it's close friends or family it is quite normal here to ask if you should take anything in particular (sometimes the response will be "Yes please, can you do the pudding/ bring some cheese/do a starter" etc.) but in any event I would never dream of going empty handed. It is also considered better form to take something home-made or grown, as opposed to bought.
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Oh what a difference! When you ask if you can bring something, be friends or relatives, you usually answer "nothing, just carry yourself". I do the same. It is a kind of courtesy to not give the guest the task of bringing something.
 
Just one little thing. If you do bring something like oh say cookies/biscuits, do not say they are homemade if they are still in the sealed grocery store package. Pretty much guaranteed eye rolls.

I got to thinking about my two major dinner parties. The first one the meat was free. (Venison). Most of the guests could barely afford to feed themselves. So in my opinion, it would have been tacky to expect them to bring something. Heck one guest the next day asked if she could come over for leftovers.

The other dinner party, 3 guests couldn't cook. The homemade cookies person's mother wouldn't even let the person near a stove. (Good reasons. ) Another guest still lived at home with his parents. (I still remember the day his dad thanked me for lecturing his son on what most adults were doing at his age. No, the person was not mentally challenged). The third person could cook but she worked and went to college. The 4th person didn't have electricity or water in their house. (It wasn't for lack of money.) Rounding out that party was our neighbor who brought her favorite side dish. It was appreciated. And my friend that asked about the leftovers.
 
@Cinisajoy

I believe you should write a "soap opera tv script " ..

To move on, I would never think to buy my family cookies / biscuits or any sweets from a supermarket or deliver them in a "box covered with plastic" ..

This is disgraceful protocol ..

I have a friend who is a Professional Pastry & Tart Designer here, and I would just call her, and ask her to select as she knows the family well .. And I would go to her Pastry Institute that houses a marvelous Bakery Café and she would show me her selection and then wrap it all up in her ovely paper wrapping ..

Must run. Time to meet my husband for a wine and light bite and then we shall walk home ..

Have a nice day ..
 
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Francesca said:
@Cinisajoy

I believe you should write a "soap opera tv script " ..

To move on, I would never think to buy my family cookies / biscuits or any sweets from a supermarket or deliver them in a "box covered with plastic" ..

This is disgraceful protocol ..

I have a friend who is a Professional Pastry & Tart Designer here, and I would just call her, and ask her to select as she knows the family well .. And I would go to her Pastry Institutle that houses a marvelous Bakery Café and she would show me her selection and then wrap it all up in her ovely paper wrapping ..

Must run. Time to meet my husband for a wine and light bite and then we shall walk home ..

Have a nice day ..
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Oops. I guess I should have been more clear. These were not factory made cookies in plastic.
Except for one grocery store chain, all our grocery stores have in store bakeries. The cookies were bought at the in-store bakery.
 
In the UK, for dinner parties, it seems like the norm is to 'bring a bottle' meaning wine. The problem I always have with this is whether it is the right thing to serve up that bottle with the dinner! Is it polite to serve it or am I supposed to keep it?
 
Here the etiquette is not always clear...

I have a bunch of foodie friends & family so I'll take them a bottle of home made preserves or two & tell them to put it away in the pantry to enjoy another day (and to put it in the refrigerator once opened). I almost always take wine too and possibly homemade biscuits or other treats.

If I take wine, I give it to the host and leave it to them if they want to serve it with the meal... some of my friends would have matched wines already selected & that's fine.

My in laws turn up empty handed as a general rule, except my father in law who may turn up with wine, whiskey, cheese, crackers and crisps. Their family dynamic can be a bit odd. One sister law always asks everyone to bring a drink & a dish - like a "pot luck".

My brother & his wife turned up here on Saturday with wine, bourbon, coke, crisps & a salt/pepper grinder filled with pink salt & mixed peppercorns because my brother thought it was cool & that I should have one. He also helped wash up after breakfast the following morning. That's another thread.

Summer BBQ's here are very casual - usually BYO beverages and a side dish is generally expected.("bring a plate")
 
morning glory said:
In the UK, for dinner parties, it seems like the norm is to 'bring a bottle' meaning wine. The problem I always have with this is whether it is the right thing to serve up that bottle with the dinner! Is it polite to serve it or am I supposed to keep it?
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@morning glory

In Spain, too .. Always a bottle of wine or a dessert sometimes if you know the people do not drink wine ..
 
morning glory said:
In the UK, for dinner parties, it seems like the norm is to 'bring a bottle' meaning wine. The problem I always have with this is whether it is the right thing to serve up that bottle with the dinner! Is it polite to serve it or am I supposed to keep it?
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Obviously always making a distinction between formal dinner and informal dinner.
If is a formal dinner, the wine you bring is not to be consumed for the evening, either because it may not be reconciled with the menu and because it is just a homage to the hosts. I then avoided taking a bottle of wine at the supermarket but I go to the specific wine shop. But without go too far with the price or the quality because it might turn out to be inappropriate (i.e. " I want to show you how much it costs and how valuable this wine is" - not very elegant). A halfway is fine or even a dessert wine.
 
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@MypinchofItaly

I usually ask my Wine Distributor or Retailer on suggested gift giving and tell them, what I would like to spend; that is appropriately within my Budget on gifts ..

Inappropriate ( not inapposite ), for one person maybe within Budget of another. However, I usually browse about the wine retailer´s and see what is on sale also and I have quite a good wine level as I studied the Sommelier´s Course as part of an elective when I studied at University, International Tourism & Hospitality. So, if I know the people well, it is easy to select a wine ..

When one does not know someone well, I ask advice and discuss the matter with a winery or with my retailer or my hotel supply distributors of the company ..

Have a lovely day ..
 
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