Is my friend miserable?

rascal

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Ok we have get togethers with friends, as you guys may know I don't spare expense, fillet steaks are regulars here. We recently were at my good friend David, (we call him dafyd the only gay in the village ) and he did a chicken curry, he happened to mention while serving that the thighs were too expensive so he bought drums for $1 each. It's been ticking me off ever since how cheap he was. They prolly eat here 9/10 times. They know I spend good money. It's just been bugging me ever since. Even my wife commented on it. What do you think??

Russ
 

TastyReuben

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I think that until you know every last little detail of a person's financial situation (and even if you think you do, you probably don't), it's best not to get too worked up over their economizing.

There could be any number of things going on that would cause that, and it's easy to judge someone's cash outlay from the outside ("but they have a boat! And jet skis!"), but until you're privy to their bank accounts and bills, you don't know the whole story.

I say, put out the best you're willing to spend and can afford, trust that your friend is doing the same, and enjoy the friendship. Good fellowship is just as good over hot dogs as it is the finest steak. :)
 

caseydog

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First, I'd say that your choice to go all-out is just that -- a choice. You don't have to do it. You want to do it.

Second, I doubt that your friend really thought about it. He was just cooking the way he always cooks. If he hadn't have told you he used a cheaper cut of meat, would you have known? Thigh and leg meat taste the same, to me at least. So, perhaps his faux pas was telling you he used a cheaper cut of meat.

Like you, I always try to go "top shelf" when I cook for friends, but I don't expect them to do the same in return. If I am to be honest, my ego probably plays a significant role in my "going big" when I cook for guests. I like having people tell me how good my food is.

CD
 

rascal

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Thanks for replies, I should have said he owns about 6 rental houses and they both work average but high wages. No shortage, I suppose that's why he has so much, scrimping on food. They do eat here a lot, and like cd said I too enjoy compliments. Perhaps he shouldn't have said how cheap they were. Btw I hate drums, I only ate a bit to say I had some. I'll see next time we have a meal there, it really pis$&@ me off at the time. And still now! He is my good friend from school so I won't fall out over it!!

Russ
 

TastyReuben

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Thanks for replies, I should have said he owns about 6 rental houses and they both work average but high wages.
That's my point, though. Unless you're looking at his accounts, he can look like the wealthiest guy in the world and have gadgets and and great jobs and still be skint because of how the money is spent.

My last manager, he and his wife together...nearly $350K US a year, but always broke and had to resort to borrowing money from his fixed-income mom once to make a house payment and a payday lender (i.e. legal loan shark) to make it another time because they mismanaged money and made, in retrospect, stupid decisions. I had to buy his lunch once at a work function because it was the day before payday and he had no money.

On paper, they had everything. In reality, they were dead-broke and living one step ahead of the bill collectors.
 

rascal

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That's my point, though. Unless you're looking at his accounts, he can look like the wealthiest guy in the world and have gadgets and and great jobs and still be skint because of how the money is spent.

My last manager, he and his wife together...nearly $350K US a year, but always broke and had to resort to borrowing money from his fixed-income mom once to make a house payment and a payday lender (i.e. legal loan shark) to make it another time because they mismanaged money and made, in retrospect, stupid decisions. I had to buy his lunch once at a work function because it was the day before payday and he had no money.

On paper, they had everything. In reality, they were dead-broke and living one step ahead of the bill collectors.
Believe me he is loaded, his daughte just had twins, he went out and paid cash for the car he bought for her, 10 k and never batted an eyelid, he's loaded, I'm also an executive in his estate, so I know he's got plenty. He asked me to be an exec because he can trust me to make sure his wife gets looked after. His wife is like my long lost sister, we get along really good and they trust me. My wife was prolly more offended than me.

Russ
 

caseydog

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Believe me he is loaded, his daughte just had twins, he went out and paid cash for the car he bought for her, 10 k and never batted an eyelid, he's loaded, I'm also an executive in his estate, so I know he's got plenty. He asked me to be an exec because he can trust me to make sure his wife gets looked after. His wife is like my long lost sister, we get along really good and they trust me. My wife was prolly more offended than me.

Russ

Let me go back a bit. Do you enjoy cooking for your friends? Do you enjoy spending time with this friend? If so, who cares what he spends when he cooks for you. Just stay in the moment, and enjoy the time spent with a friend.

CD
 

rascal

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Let me go back a bit. Do you enjoy cooking for your friends? Do you enjoy spending time with this friend? If so, who cares what he spends when he cooks for you. Just stay in the moment, and enjoy the time spent with a friend.

CD
Yes I do, but I'm feeling used?? I don't think we'll have them here as much. And yes I enjoy his company, always have. Maybe it's just me??

Russ
 
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