Lifestyle changes

Windigo said:
Well not that great. Today is the deadline for my oldest stepson to be placed in a new facility, and we still know nothing. I'm extremely stressed.

We had an alternative place arranged, AND a signed contract that binds the current facility to look for a place for him. But without informing us, THEY called the alternative place to let them know how horrible our son is, so he is now not able to go there. And they are now refusing to comply with the rehoming contract, so my stepson might be homeless after today because taking him back is no option because he is agressive and a danger to his environment. But its absolutely soul destroying to be put in this position.

So, we'll soon be in court trying to get justice for my stepson, obviously.
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I am so sorry you all are going through this. I can imagine the stress you must be feeling. I am not surprised they badmouthed him to the new facility. I've had a few doctors break the law and discuss me with others without consent. My ex made a habit of it during our separation so it was hard to get cohesive care for several years.

I know you mentioned it but forgive me as I don't recall at the moment. Can he stay with his mother? Is she helpful at all in searching for resources for him? Here we have patient advocates that usually work in hospitals. They usually know about resources in the community.

Again, I'm sorry you're going through this. :hug:
 
Doing okay. I ate a little bit and rested as much as I could. I didn't sleep through the night so I'm going to lie back down soon. I'm trying to stay focused on my goals and remain positive. It helps knowing all of you are just a post away. Now, if we can just tell my allergies to leave me alone. LOL

How is everybody doing?
 
mjd said:
I am so sorry you all are going through this. I can imagine the stress you must be feeling. I am not surprised they badmouthed him to the new facility. I've had a few doctors break the law and discuss me with others without consent. My ex made a habit of it during our separation so it was hard to get cohesive care for several years.

I know you mentioned it but forgive me as I don't recall at the moment. Can he stay with his mother? Is she helpful at all in searching for resources for him? Here we have patient advocates that usually work in hospitals. They usually know about resources in the community.

Again, I'm sorry you're going through this. :hug:
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His mother has withdrawn from the process completely, she leaves everything to us which is part of the reason he can't come back. He's officially mentally disabled in a way that requires 24/7 intensive care and neither of us can provide that.
We already have in use every kind of resource there is , but because he has autism/adhd/ocd/incontience/agression and mental disability ( cognitive disfunction, he functions at the level of 12 year old but is 21) he's deemed ' too complicated ' by every single facility out there so far.
 
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Windigo said:
His mother has withdrawn from the process completely, she leaves everything to us which is part of the reason he can't come back. He's officially mentally disabled in a way that requires 24/7 intensive care and neither of us can provide that.
We already have in use every kind of resource there is , but because he has autism/adhd/ocd/incontience/agression and mental disability ( cognitive disfunction, he functions at the level of 12 year old but is 21) he's deemed ' too complicated ' by every single facility out there so far.
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Oh, she sounds lovely. /sarcasm

If I was in this situation I would call every doctor, psychiatrist, church and the police department. Somebody somewhere has to know of resources for this kind of thing.

I have a case manager assigned through my insurance company. She helped me get a Life Alert button and caregiving services. Do you have anything like that there?

Our local mental health service owns a few properties to house clients needing around-the-clock care. They get their own apartment but the kitchen and community areas are shared.

Does he see a counselor and/or psychiatrist? Maybe they know of some resources that would be a good match for him.

Sending you a ton of hugs!:hug:
 
mjd said:
Oh, she sounds lovely. /sarcasm

If I was in this situation I would call every doctor, psychiatrist, church and the police department. Somebody somewhere has to know of resources for this kind of thing.

I have a case manager assigned through my insurance company. She helped me get a Life Alert button and caregiving services. Do you have anything like that there?

Our local mental health service owns a few properties to house clients needing around-the-clock care. They get their own apartment but the kitchen and community areas are shared.

Does he see a counselor and/or psychiatrist? Maybe they know of some resources that would be a good match for him.

Sending you a ton of hugs!:hug:
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💖 :hug:

Look I know you want to help dear, but we've not gotten in this position through our neglect. We've fought for him for 12 years and exhausted all the resources along the way. The problem as stated before, is that he is a danger to his environment and those people are scarcely welcome anywhere but in prison. We have a for-profit healthcare system and people like my stepson don't provide a profit. Our mental healthcare has been in perpetual crisis because of this problem for the past 20 years. And people vote only for less public healthcare and less resources for people like my stepson. My stepson gets sent away from every program he's ever been to for misbehaving, even when they know what he has.
Of course he's seeing a psychiatrist, right now that's just the person who is behind the ignoring of the contract he himself signed.

All our resources are spent. It's sink or swim.

And we still know nothing and working hours are over now. Tomorrow we'll have to wait another day.
 
Windigo said:
What we will do,might they have the audacity to leave him homeless is call in all the press and political parties as a last ditch effort :okay:
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You know, I know this sounds crazy, but do they expect/hope that by leaving him homeless, he'll end up committing a crime of some sort, and end up incarcerated, as in, that's how they plan to deal with it?
 
Windigo said:
💖 :hug:

Look I know you want to help dear, but we've not gotten in this position through our neglect. We've fought for him for 12 years and exhausted all the resources along the way. The problem as stated before, is that he is a danger to his environment and those people are scarcely welcome anywhere but in prison. We have a for-profit healthcare system and people like my stepson don't provide a profit. Our mental healthcare has been in perpetual crisis because of this problem for the past 20 years. And people vote only for less public healthcare and less resources for people like my stepson. My stepson gets sent away from every program he's ever been to for misbehaving, even when they know what he has.
Of course he's seeing a psychiatrist, right now that's just the person who is behind the ignoring of the contract he himself signed.

All our resources are spent. It's sink or swim.

And we still know nothing and working hours are over now. Tomorrow we'll have to wait another day.
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I am so sorry if my post sounded like I'm blaming you for not doing anything. Far from it. I hear a woman with a beautiful heart who is just downright exhausted from trying to hold this together for everyone involved.

I spent five long years overturning every rock I could think of to protect my children. I went to the domestic violence centers, churches, family psychiatrist, anywhere and everywhere I could think of...all to no avail. I was investigated for child abuse five times (I've never even yelled at my children, let alone hurt them) and my ex called the police on me constantly. He tried to get me committed to a psychiatric hospital twice and even had me chased down on the highway by the state police. In the end, I failed. He kidnapped my children, locked me out of my own house and left me homeless. I don't have a supportive family so I had nowhere to go. I lived in shelters and my vehicle for close to a year when I was finally able to find my current apartment.

I tell you this because I feel the same heartache you must be going through right now. We do all we can and there's simply no help even from the places that are supposed to help. We can't find any light at the end of the tunnel and we try to stay strong for everybody else growing more tired each passing day.

I honestly wish I could take this away for you. Please know that I care and I'll be here to listen day or night. :hug:

P.S. I was thinking about learning how to make a voo-doo doll so I could make one of my ex. Do you want me to make one of your husband's ex? LOL
 
TastyReuben said:
You know, I know this sounds crazy, but do they expect/hope that by leaving him homeless, he'll end up committing a crime of some sort, and end up incarcerated, as in, that's how they plan to deal with it?
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Usually, that's the case. There basically is no help BEFORE a person commits a crime but all kinds of services once they do. If it's anything like here (US) the prisons are for-profit so they keep funneling mentally ill patients into them.
 
Timenspace said:
Am doing fine, thank you. Taking it hour by hour, being grateful for every tiny possible thing or action.
Worried about my boyfriend's neck surgery. Hoping it goes well. Believe it will greatly help him.
Very much looking forward to the weekend😊
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Best wishes to your bf for a quick recovery and freedom from hospitalization.
 
Windigo said:
What we will do,might they have the audacity to leave him homeless is call in all the press and political parties as a last ditch effort :okay:
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Well - its certainly a plan. I've been following your posts and I know you have done everything humanly possible to get the best solution. I really hope something positive happens tomorrow.
 
TastyReuben said:
You know, I know this sounds crazy, but do they expect/hope that by leaving him homeless, he'll end up committing a crime of some sort, and end up incarcerated, as in, that's how they plan to deal with it?
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We expect something like that might be the idea, we know he won't last a day on the streets without being taken off them for acting crazy. That's a small comfort.

The other comfort is that he has not been put out on the street yesterday, which makes it more likely that they realised they're going to have to fulfill their contract.

But it's way to early here so I'll reply to the rest later. Thanks everyone for your support :hug:
 
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