Lifestyle changes

Windigo

Retired cook
Joined
29 Jul 2019
Local time
3:54 PM
Messages
2,796
Location
The Netherlands
I am so sorry if my post sounded like I'm blaming you for not doing anything. Far from it. I hear a woman with a beautiful heart who is just downright exhausted from trying to hold this together for everyone involved.

I spent five long years overturning every rock I could think of to protect my children. I went to the domestic violence centers, churches, family psychiatrist, anywhere and everywhere I could think of...all to no avail. I was investigated for child abuse five times (I've never even yelled at my children, let alone hurt them) and my ex called the police on me constantly. He tried to get me committed to a psychiatric hospital twice and even had me chased down on the highway by the state police. In the end, I failed. He kidnapped my children, locked me out of my own house and left me homeless. I don't have a supportive family so I had nowhere to go. I lived in shelters and my vehicle for close to a year when I was finally able to find my current apartment.

I tell you this because I feel the same heartache you must be going through right now. We do all we can and there's simply no help even from the places that are supposed to help. We can't find any light at the end of the tunnel and we try to stay strong for everybody else growing more tired each passing day.

I honestly wish I could take this away for you. Please know that I care and I'll be here to listen day or night. :hug:

P.S. I was thinking about learning how to make a voo-doo doll so I could make one of my ex. Do you want me to make one of your husband's ex? LOL
Oh that's terrible what you went through with your ex husband, I am so sorry :hug: Do you have your children back now, or can you at least see them? :(

At the moment I am more interested in a voodoo doll of the current psychiatrist who is responsible for this whole mess :laugh: My husband's ex is certainly to blame for a lot, but she's severely mentally ill herself and that does excuse her * to a point* . Obviously it is neglient that she's withdrawn from this process completely, but I can't completely blame her given her state of mind.

I hope we'll get some answers today.

As for my work on lifestyle changes: I am still sticking to the WW program and have not cheated , except sunday when the stress took too much for me to be able to think. I've been able to walk every day exept yesterday due to the feeling of having to wait all day and not being free to do anything. I am planning to take a walk to the library today no matter what.
 

mjd

Über Member
Joined
4 Sep 2020
Local time
8:54 AM
Messages
2,310
Location
Chicago, IL - Midwest USA
Windigo, I hear you. Some of these so called "professionals" are awful. The whole system is dysfunctional. I hope you all are able to get some answers soon.

I am very proud of you for sticking to your plan. You are doing great and it's a bigger kudos in doing it when you are so stressed out. Yeah you!!!

ETA: I sent you a pm regarding your question.
 
Last edited:

Windigo

Retired cook
Joined
29 Jul 2019
Local time
3:54 PM
Messages
2,796
Location
The Netherlands
Windigo, I hear you. Some of these so called "professionals" are awful. The whole system is dysfunctional. I hope you all are able to get some answers soon.

I am very proud of you for sticking to your plan. You are doing great and it's a bigger kudos in doing it when you are so stressed out. Yeah you!!!

ETA: I sent you a pm regarding your question.
Well.. shtf happened.. I don't have words for it right now but:

We're in a hotel now, because the facility is literally sending him to us in a taxi and our house is not even his registered postal adress! He lives with his mother, so if anywhere he should be sent there. But right now he has apped us that he will refuse to go in the taxi .. so lets hope he gets sent to the police instead so they can help him :mad:

We're in the hotel because my husband cannot bear the thought of having to refuse his son at the door.
 

Morning Glory

Obsessive cook
Staff member
Recipe Challenge Judge
Joined
19 Apr 2015
Local time
2:54 PM
Messages
39,652
Location
Maidstone, Kent, UK
Well.. shtf happened.. I don't have words for it right now but:

We're in a hotel now, because the facility is literally sending him to us in a taxi and our house is not even his registered postal adress! He lives with his mother, so if anywhere he should be sent there. But right now he has apped us that he will refuse to go in the taxi .. so lets hope he gets sent to the police instead so they can help him :mad:

We're in the hotel because my husband cannot bear the thought of having to refuse his son at the door.

That is extraordinary! I think you have done the right thing. I think your story could hit the headlines.
 

mjd

Über Member
Joined
4 Sep 2020
Local time
8:54 AM
Messages
2,310
Location
Chicago, IL - Midwest USA
Well.. shtf happened.. I don't have words for it right now but:

We're in a hotel now, because the facility is literally sending him to us in a taxi and our house is not even his registered postal adress! He lives with his mother, so if anywhere he should be sent there. But right now he has apped us that he will refuse to go in the taxi .. so lets hope he gets sent to the police instead so they can help him :mad:

We're in the hotel because my husband cannot bear the thought of having to refuse his son at the door.
That's beyond insane.
 

Windigo

Retired cook
Joined
29 Jul 2019
Local time
3:54 PM
Messages
2,796
Location
The Netherlands
That is extraordinary! I think you have done the right thing. I think your story could hit the headlines.
Yeah we're calling every single press outlet tomorrow.

And my stepsons caregiver is calling the salvation army as my stepson has an offical inidication for long term help.
 

Windigo

Retired cook
Joined
29 Jul 2019
Local time
3:54 PM
Messages
2,796
Location
The Netherlands
Update:

Stepson has kept refusing to enter the taxi. The facility has damaged his laptop which now doesn't work anymore because he refused to give it to them. It was the only thing he had to communicate with his mother, she is also autistic and refuses to talk on anything but discord. So that's another thing for court.
My stepson has been removed from his room and now slept in an office, but they have not yet thrown him out. We told him to let them get the police if they want to, because the police will help him.

His caregiver can probably give him a place at the salvation army soon, we hear more about that later today. Now we must just hope he won't be somehow forced into a taxi today.
 

mjd

Über Member
Joined
4 Sep 2020
Local time
8:54 AM
Messages
2,310
Location
Chicago, IL - Midwest USA
Update:

Stepson has kept refusing to enter the taxi. The facility has damaged his laptop which now doesn't work anymore because he refused to give it to them. It was the only thing he had to communicate with his mother, she is also autistic and refuses to talk on anything but discord. So that's another thing for court.
My stepson has been removed from his room and now slept in an office, but they have not yet thrown him out. We told him to let them get the police if they want to, because the police will help him.

His caregiver can probably give him a place at the salvation army soon, we hear more about that later today. Now we must just hope he won't be somehow forced into a taxi today.
Oh, what a mess.

They probably have a procedure for lost, stolen or damaged personal property.

If they call the police, could he be arrested for trespassing? If they are anything like our police, they usually make things worse.

I hope the Salvation Army thing works out.

Gentle hugs, hon.
 

Windigo

Retired cook
Joined
29 Jul 2019
Local time
3:54 PM
Messages
2,796
Location
The Netherlands
Oh, what a mess.

They probably have a procedure for lost, stolen or damaged personal property.

If they call the police, could he be arrested for trespassing? If they are anything like our police, they usually make things worse.

I hope the Salvation Army thing works out.

Gentle hugs, hon.
I don't know what the police would actually do, but most likely they will bring him to a homeless shelter after removing him from the property.

Refusing to leave when obviously crazy ( like he is) either gets you medically checked by the police sending you to a hospital, or them bringing you to a homeless shelter. Or in the worst case ( for his mom) he gets brought to her by the police because that's his official adress.

Our police is not as arrest-eager as the US police.
 
  • Like
Reactions: mjd

mjd

Über Member
Joined
4 Sep 2020
Local time
8:54 AM
Messages
2,310
Location
Chicago, IL - Midwest USA
I don't know what the police would actually do, but most likely they will bring him to a homeless shelter after removing him from the property.

Refusing to leave when obviously crazy ( like he is) either gets you medically checked by the police sending you to a hospital, or them bringing you to a homeless shelter. Or in the worst case ( for his mom) he gets brought to her by the police because that's his official adress.

Our police is not as arrest-eager as the US police.
I'm glad to hear your police are more civil.

How are you? How is your husband holding up?
 

Windigo

Retired cook
Joined
29 Jul 2019
Local time
3:54 PM
Messages
2,796
Location
The Netherlands
I'm glad to hear your police are more civil.

How are you? How is your husband holding up?
My husband is OK as far as he can be at the moment, he realises he's fighting for his other son too by persevering in this matter. My other stepson has already been suicidal because of the situation with his brother, and he self harmed and failed his exam twice. This year is his final chance at succeeding in school, and his grades are finallly up to par for the exam so that motivates my husband and me to keep fighting. But yes, it's pretty much like choosing to keep one leg and cutting off the other.

I am OK, our marriage is very strong and we even managed to relax and enjoy ourselves a little yesterday when the office hours were over and we could enjoy the bubble bath. We're now strong enough to fight another day and back home.

As for lifestyle changes: I have counted my food in the WW app, and I am a little over my weekly limit but not a lot. I've decided I need to learn not to use food as a coping mechanism, so instead of binging yesterday I had a few extra bites but nothing like how I used to have reacted to this. I let the bubble bath be my relaxation instead. And my steps are well up to par because this was a big hotel! Even without exercise I still ended up at 4500 steps yesterday.
 

mjd

Über Member
Joined
4 Sep 2020
Local time
8:54 AM
Messages
2,310
Location
Chicago, IL - Midwest USA
My husband is OK as far as he can be at the moment, he realises he's fighting for his other son too by persevering in this matter. My other stepson has already been suicidal because of the situation with his brother, and he self harmed and failed his exam twice. This year is his final chance at succeeding in school, and his grades are finallly up to par for the exam so that motivates my husband and me to keep fighting. But yes, it's pretty much like choosing to keep one leg and cutting off the other.

I am OK, our marriage is very strong and we even managed to relax and enjoy ourselves a little yesterday when the office hours were over and we could enjoy the bubble bath. We're now strong enough to fight another day and back home.

As for lifestyle changes: I have counted my food in the WW app, and I am a little over my weekly limit but not a lot. I've decided I need to learn not to use food as a coping mechanism, so instead of binging yesterday I had a few extra bites but nothing like how I used to have reacted to this. I let the bubble bath be my relaxation instead. And my steps are well up to par because this was a big hotel! Even without exercise I still ended up at 4500 steps yesterday.
I can only imagine the heartache you all are experiencing. I'm really, really glad that you have one another to get through it together.

Good job on your keeping on track. I know it's hard but I am so excited for you to reach your goals!!!
 

mjd

Über Member
Joined
4 Sep 2020
Local time
8:54 AM
Messages
2,310
Location
Chicago, IL - Midwest USA
Not doing too well today. I haven't been able to hold anything down for about 48 hours. I'm staying hydrated but the pain is through the roof. I have to go back in to the GI doctor (I canceled it because I suspect that's where I contracted COVID last November. I was trying to wait until I could get the vax). I'm going to just rest today and try again tomorrow.

How is everybody doing?
 

Windigo

Retired cook
Joined
29 Jul 2019
Local time
3:54 PM
Messages
2,796
Location
The Netherlands
Not doing too well today. I haven't been able to hold anything down for about 48 hours. I'm staying hydrated but the pain is through the roof. I have to go back in to the GI doctor (I canceled it because I suspect that's where I contracted COVID last November. I was trying to wait until I could get the vax). I'm going to just rest today and try again tomorrow.

How is everybody doing?
How are you feeling now? :hug:
 
Top Bottom