Retirement plans

rascal said:
I used money for incentive for my kids.
When they were about 15? I said to them, I'll give you $5k when you reach 20 if you dont try or touch drugs until then. I think it was $5 k? 30 years ago approx. They both were drug free at 20 and never asked for the $5k. They knew by the time and understood my offer. They don't do drugs even now. Daughter is a teacher. Son a NZ wide company the sales manager .
Doing stuff like I kinda did.

Russ
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Not every child will respond to that. You got lucky too.
 
rascal said:
Yeah when I was 15 I was hanging around motor bike gangs and started smoking pot. So I knew the choices they would have to make.

Russ
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I know plenty of people who did recreational drugs and straightened up. But I lost friends over the years to drugs who were too weak to straighten themselves out. I had to distance myself from some because I couldn't trust them anymore. A few others died from overdoses. These days I don't know anyone who does anything stronger than pot.

Anyway, everyone deserves the chance to grow old in peace and look forward to retirement.
 
I had a bit of Retirement Practice on Monday. I didn't need to do any grocery shopping or visit any family members, and I had the day off from work. And, I had just bought a wide range of vegetables from the market.

So, I made kimchi and dill pickles, and cooked a simple dinner for the family (grilled chicken and hand-made oven baked fries). Unlike most of the time when I do these things, I didn't have 10 other things to do at the same time. It was amazing. This is something I could do every day. :)
 
If your profession is your identity, you will have a problem with retirement unless you find something to do that makes you feel worthwhile. My Dear Husband's identity has always been his work. He retired involuntarily in March 2022. Several businesses contacted him and asked him to work for them. Good for his ego but at 76 not what he needed to do.
The saga of his retirement has not been good. His temper is short. He spends too much time watching extreme conspiracy theory TV shows and pod casts. He has gained 40+ pounds. He has two sisters and a Brother in Law who are extremely ill. One sister has hospice care. I have tried to get him to visit his sisters while they are alive. He is terrified of facing death. I really cannot wrap my head around his refusal to see his sisters before they die. I would be at the bedside of any family member 24/7.
 
How do you want to change him? I'm 28 and not in the position to tell elders what to do. He has to realize it himself, that what he's doing is wrong, but until he doesn't want to change he's happy with how it is.
 
ElizabethB said:
He has two sisters and a Brother in Law who are extremely ill. One sister has hospice care. I have tried to get him to visit his sisters while they are alive.
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In March 2021, my little sis collapsed in the supermarket. She was rushed to King's College hospital, London, the best Neurosurgical hospital in the UK. they diagnosed AVM, which affects 1% of the world population. Surgery gave her a 30% chance of survival, and the operation lasted 15 hours.
She's in a Care Home and I went to see her once in February, 2022. She can't walk, is almost blind, can't feed herself, (fed with a tube into the stomach), can't swallow, moves one hand but not the other and might, or might not recognize you. I went once and I'm not going again, with the blessing of my BIL, who goes every day, but who knows very well that some day, it will all end. 27 months prostrated on a bed.
 
I know that G avoids seeing his sisters because he fears death. I have asked him repeatedly to make final arrangements for us. He freaks out. IDK. I have no fear of death. I want to take care of my final arrangements. I want to be cremated. I do want my remains in a consecrated niche. I am a lapsed Catholic. In my old age I cannot shake the requirement of being buried in consecrated ground. My Dad committed suicide. My Mother's heartache was that he could not be buried in consecrated ground with a Catholic Mass/Blessing. Fortunately, the Church had changed their thinking. Our parish Priest assured her that the Church had recognized that no one could judge the heart and mind of an individual. Dad was buried with a Catholic Mass in consecrated ground. His suicide was considered an issue between him and God.
Sorry.
Very off topic of retirement. Maybe making final arrangements is part of not only retirement but life. Don't leave those decisions to your kids. It is a heart-breaking process. We will have to make those decisions for my Mother.
 
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