All I can do is smirk and hope my parents forgave me..... eventually. The first memory of going to a restaurant is a doozy. I have 2 siblings.
I am a middle kid. Say nothing.
So the first memory I have of going out to eat was when I was a young child. I think I was 5 or 6. I am sure we went out before then I simply have no memory of it. The story told as an adult of my very young days. I dont know why my parents didnt sell me.
Family of 5 in the early 70's in the US. It was a big day. My folks tantalized us with the idea, of going to a fancy restaurant for dinner that night, most of the day. So lets blame them for the stuff that happened.
Go forward several hours.... evening time, my mom getting ready and probably yelling at the 3 of us to do the same as we were so excited. We didnt go out to eat very often and it was a special treat to do so. As a family we piled in the car and headed to the " place ". we were seated promptly( my memory) at a round table with redish burgundy cloth napkins and silverware ever so delicately wrapped in the cloth, water glasses perfectly displayed and the pretty crystal salt and pepper shakers smack dab in the middle of the beautifully cloth covered round table. Mind you this is a 6 yr olds memory. I was thoroughly impressed.
My sister was to my left and 3 yrs younger than myself. My brother to my right. My dad to the right of my brother and my mom to the left of my sister.
moving right along...
my little sister was getting fussy and probably very hungry. I took it upon myself to entertain her because my folks were threatening to leave if she didnt settle down. I was not going to leave the experience of a lifetime. I wrapped the circa 70s huge silverware back in the cloth napkin and did a " magic" trick for my sister. Rocky and Bullwinkle cartoon was very popular at the time too. SO I said.. Illy beeny chilly beeny watch the silverware disappear. I promptly waved the poorly wrapped silverware over my head and it flew... really flew. and whacked a fella in the back of the head, I found the butter knife and spoon. My mom was horrified and I think my dad was too but he was just grateful my sister stopped crying. After several apologies the waitress finally took our order and I was so nervous. I wanted to order my favorite... PB and J and macaroni and cheese. My reading skills were not developed then.
I asked the waitress, remember Im a bundle of nerves, I asked her if I could have a PENIS butter and Jelly sandwich, macaroni and cheese and a glass of milk? Please? My Mom gasped so loud that I looked up and she was as red as I had ever seen her. Much to my surprise my dad, bless him was the comic relief. Said "we'll have 3 of those, one for each kid". Over the years I was reminded of bruising a gentleman with a magic trick and ordering a 'private" part. I didnt get my PB and J. One of my parents must have ordered me a hamburger