The General Chat Thread (2016-2022)

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Timenspace said:
You managed, that's the point.
It is not easy to live with the parents, surely, I don't know much details, but it is their thing...
It is not considered 'standard' here either, but it happens.
Yeah, well, I was sad for unable to see him for another 4 weeks, I mean, one gets to see sick people and recovering People too. I do not expect him to play rugby...

Basically he said , it could have been that we never meet again. And I was like What???

This is not a life threatening surgery!!

Well no, but if I got paralyzed (disabled), what would you do with me, you need to enjoy life and care for your kid.

After some silence, tears and being lost...

Me: Oh, so if a car hits me, and I get disabled you will delete our relationship?

It wont hit you, do not exxagerate...says he.

But it is the same principle.

Anyways, I hope it is texting under pain, adrenaline and all...but if it is not, it gets into the red flag basket.

I am not interested at this point in any less than prospect of a future together, in sickness and in health.

I don't know.

As you say, you gotta what you gotta...we shall see...
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Honey, men especially are like that, though women are too to some extent. He's just talking like that cause he's scared and doesn't want to be a burden. When I was going in for some routine surgery several years ago, I started uncontrollably crying like a baby and babbling all kinds of things to craig in the preop area even though I've worked in the medical field for most of my entire life and logically knew the risks were infinitesimally low that anything would go wrong, and nothing did. It happens. Just let it go and forget about it unless he brings it up again after he's better.
 
Timenspace said:
You managed, that's the point.
It is not easy to live with the parents, surely, I don't know much details, but it is their thing...
It is not considered 'standard' here either, but it happens.
Yeah, well, I was sad for unable to see him for another 4 weeks, I mean, one gets to see sick people and recovering People too. I do not expect him to play rugby...

Basically he said , it could have been that we never meet again. And I was like What???

This is not a life threatening surgery!!

Well no, but if I got paralyzed (disabled), what would you do with me, you need to enjoy life and care for your kid.

After some silence, tears and being lost...

Me: Oh, so if a car hits me, and I get disabled you will delete our relationship?

It wont hit you, do not exxagerate...says he.

But it is the same principle.

Anyways, I hope it is texting under pain, adrenaline and all...but if it is not, it gets into the red flag basket.

I am not interested at this point in any less than prospect of a future together, in sickness and in health.

I don't know.

As you say, you gotta what you gotta...we shall see...
Click to expand...

Wait a few weeks. It may very well be pain speaking, or feeling sorry for himself. Both natural things for someone going through this kind of thing.

I am very happy to hear that you have a "red flag" instinct, but give this thing a few weeks. You don't have to make any decisions today. In addition to "You gotta' do what you gotta do," is another cliche, "All you can do is all you can do."

Be supportive, and see how things play out.



CD
 
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TastyReuben said:
I would not read anything into that. Usually I don't stereotype, but on this occasion, I'm going to say that's a very "guy" thing to say, and it's more about him saying "I would not want to be a burden to you," and it in no way means "...so therefore, I would never expect to be burdened by you."

It's not so much a macho thing, either, just him saying he would never want to saddle you with caring for him if he were in that condition, because he wants what's best for you. It doesn't follow that therefore he would be unwilling to care for you should you need it. He would (I hope) still care for you because he wants what's best for you.
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Thank you. It had crossed my mind to be that way. Because in general he does seem to care about me a lot genuinely.
Texting in general is not good for such talks, so we will resume on another occasion, whenever, and at first he needs to get better and more stabile.🍀
It is precious to hear other opinions.
 
medtran49 said:
Honey, men especially are like that, though women are too to some extent. He's just talking like that cause he's scared and doesn't want to be a burden. When I was going in for some routine surgery several years ago, I started uncontrollably crying like a baby and babbling all kinds of things to craig in the preop area even though I've worked in the medical field for most of my entire life and logically knew the risks were infinitesimally low that anything would go wrong, and nothing did. It happens. Just let it go and forget about it unless he brings it up again after he's better.
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Oh that is so sweet. Thank you. My gut told me it was his fear speaking, but I guess we were both under stress...

I've learned over the years not to jump to conclusions and to give some credit and not get into the negative swirl...

He has a lot on his plate...so we'll see.
 
caseydog said:
Wait a few weeks. It may very well be pain speaking, or feeling sorry for himself. Both natural things for someone going through this kind of thing.

I am very happy to hear that you have a "red flag" instinct, but give this thing a few weeks. You don't have to make any decisions today. In addition to "You gotta' do what you gotta do," is another cliche, "All you can do is all you can do."

Be supportive, and see how things play out.



CD
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That is very true, I will not rush. It has been 18 months of ups and downs, and the connection is too strong or too deep to cut it off easily...for just words...after a surgery...

I guess I got scared too...

Yeah, he has felt bad for the last 10 months, lots of pain, numbness, painkillers...it will take some more time and healing to get to some level of greater comfort...

But even so, he has done a lot for me ...

Surely, let love prevail...thank you.
 
Ahhh, the joys of getting old and forgetful...

I started this conversation with my wife this morning:

"Hey, our anniversary is next week, do you want to go out somewhere nice? Haven't done that since...2019."

"Actually, no. I think I want to save our 'nice' meals out for our birthdays."

"Ok, I can make something here, but maybe we'll get a nice cake from BonBonerie <swank bakery>."

"You know what sounds good? Fondue! One last fondue before summer gets here."

"Fondue it is. I'll pick up the wine tomorrow."

<about 10 minutes passes>

"So...for our anniversary dinner, since I'm making something here, I was thinking a crockpot pork tenderloin with apples and onions, and-"

"We just said we're having fondue!"

"Oh, yeah, that's right..."

:laugh:
 
Our neighbour opposite was taken to hospital yesterday evening with first degree burns on his legs. He had found termites in his "Buddha room" which was only lit by candles and decided to spray them with insect repellent!

He was wearing shorts and walking very, very carefully upon his return. We haven't yet seen him today.
 
I'm currently sat outside on the stoep and the temperature has dropped from 36°C (14:00) to 29°C (19:00) so I turned the fan off. It can't have been longer than 20 seconds before I turned it back on again. Humidity is 86%.
 
Unseasonably cool and raining today -- 57F/14C. Here's Dallas area radar

Screen Shot 2021-05-11 at 1.44.08 PM.png


CD
 
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