It's just shopping that I've always had this issue with him.
It doesn't help that I don't like shopping either but since acquiring the wheelchair and losing so much of my independence it one fowl swoop, I'm not even able to manage the shops myself. Then say I've seen something, would he come and look at it... it was so much easier before the chair.
The memory issue with him is a sign that his thyroid meds are wrong again. I understand that. It hurts because the one place he really forgots things is relating to me. If I me something doing and work needs something, its work every time and he was never like that before. I can't get him to write it down. Even texting him doesn't work because he doesn't check... getting him to always check doesn't work, he's not a person of habit and doesn't understand the need to always do zxy after doing abc... or always putting his hat in the same place so that he knows where it is next time he leaves the house. I find I have to keep track of these things for him and let him know that I last saw it is the bedroom called the walk-in wardrobe, next to... for me , if it goes in the mud room on top of the coats, then that is where you'll find it if I'm in the house, period.
Need to sigh, just accept and carry on...
I understand both sides of the issue, as I'm exactly like your hubs with regards to shopping. I want to know what we're going for, I want to look for exactly that, and I don't want to dawdle looking for it. In and out. I always feel that shopping should be (especially in the internet age) going and getting an in-person look at and picking it up, as opposed to browsing (whenever possible).
I also have an acute need to know what to expect during the day. I don't handle surprised well, and if we're going out looking at tables and then we're suddenly looking at patio furniture, I'm probably (meaning absolutely for sure) going to lose my temper. It's not even needing to have a plan, it's just that I need to know that this is what we're looking for, and this is where we're going, just so I can prepare myself mentally for it. I'm fine looking at the patio furniture, as long as you tell me first that it's on the docket. Barring that, even if you just say, "Hey, I know we didn't plan on it, but I just noticed they have the patio furniture out...do you mind if we take a look?" - I'll still be a little put out, but I won't be in a full-on rage about it.
The eating out thing, though, I'm more like you. When I leave the house at 9AM and I'm going to be out over lunch, I already know where I'm eating, and I probably know what I'm going to have. Then I can go in, sit down, and when the server comes over and asks if I need a few minutes, I can say, "Nope, I'll have the haggis and pikelets special, side of risotto, and pickled herring for afters, thanks!" No muss, no fuss.
Even if it's fast food and there's a line, my wife will not think about what she wants until the person asks. I get so frustrated, even at McD's, because we're the couple who stands in line for 10 minutes, then when it's our turn to order, we have to step aside and let others go, because MrsTasty didn't use the 10 minutes in line to decide, and...c'mon! It's friggin' McDonald's! You know what they have!
Her time-management skill are shot since her stroke as well. She's meeting clients this morning, and I have to start at about an hour out to remind her, "You're leaving at 9:20AM...do you have all your stuff?"
30 minutes to go and I have to remind her to get dressed, then I have to remind her to leave, and she gets snippy about it, but if I don't remind her, she'll be rushing around with five minutes to spare, yelling at me for not reminding her.
Like you said, you just have to learn to put up with it.
