"The Wife"

ElizabethB

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I am steamed.:mad:
When men refer to their spouses as "the wife".
What is with that? What is wrong with My Wife?
I would never demean George by referring to him as "The Husband". He is George, G, Sweet G or My Husband.
Seriously Guys - what gives?
Is your wife a piece of furniture? The couch, the chair, the table, the wife.
Sorry
I am in a pissy mood today . References to "The Wife" ticked me off.
I do not want to start a PC discussion. I just find that reference personally offensive. I never want to be referred to as "The" anything. Dehumanizing.
 
As someone who frequently refers to my wife as "the wife," (and who is frequently referred to as "the hubs" by the same), I guess I'm struggling anything other than a semantic difference.

To me, she is "the wife," because she's the only one I have (and the only one I've ever had, and I'm as confident as confident can be that she'll be the only one I'll ever have). As to "my wife," give it a few years, and maybe that'll fall out of fashion because it can be construed to imply ownership. 🤷🏻‍♂️

I usually alternate between "the wife" and "MrsTasty," just to keep from being redundant. Sometimes I'll also say "my wife" on the board, but oddly, "my wife" feels more formal, like I'd say "my wife" if I were speaking about her to a shopkeeper or something; "I'm picking this out for my wife," where here, it feels more like a backyard barbecue, where we all kind of know each other, and "the wife" just feels a bit more familiar, a bit more "among friends."

It certainly doesn't bother MrsTasty, and that's really the only one I have to worry about. :)
 
Haha.. my husband refers to me as The Wife or The Wifey all the time. Never thought /read anything more into it.. I actually know a joke or sarcastic comment is coming when I hear "the wife" .. doesn't 't bother me one bit - I actually take it as a sign of affection but, hey we are all different and each of us "feel" the way we "feel"
 
I have no idea how I come across, but I'm not a mysogynist at all, I'm a softie towards women, I love them. Thinking on it I prolly say the wife as well? How else should I call her.? I'm open to suggestions if I have offended anyone, not my intention. Should I call her " she who doesn't cook?" Because I do all the cooking and other stuff around the house. All my wife's friends ( there I go again, my wife) say their husbands are lazy compared to me.

I'll tell you something my wife doesn't know (my wife) I got a phone call at work about 10 years ago from a chick that used to double date with my wife and a friend of mine and myself. When my wife had our first child we lost touch with my friend and my wife's friend, they went their separate ways. The wife's friend was the one that rang me 10 years ago to have a talk. I asked her what she was doing, she explained she had two failed marriages, ( 1 abusive) and a failed boyfriend, she asked if I was still with $&@&$&@ to which I replied yes, her words were, dam, I knew I should have made a play for you. You were so much better than I guy I went out with. To me that says I must be ok?

Rant over, I'll be interested in your reply ElizabethB ??

Russ
 
To all.
I apologize for offending anyone. Not my intention.
Russ - did you notice that in your post you referred to your wife as My Wife instead of The Wife? Yes Russ you are not only OK but better than OK. So are all of the forum members.
G has a very bad habit of referring to professional women in his industry as GALS or GIRLS. I jump his back side every time I hear him do so. I have tried to explain to him that it is a matter of respect to refer to female associates as women. They are not girls or gals. He would never refer to his male associates as boys or Bubbas.
I am not without sin. I do refer to G's friends, acquaintances and associates as Buds or Bubbas. I need to do better. Buds are not bad - short for buddies. Bubbas are another issue. For those of you on the other side of the pond bubba is a derogatory term for white, under educated, assertive southern men. Education is optional. Not a flattering reference.
"My Wife/Husband/Spouse/Partner" has no more a connotation of possession than My Mother, My Sister, My Sibling, My Boss, My Friend, My Co-worker..

I am ashamed of myself.
When presented with a prostitute and challenged to punish her by stoning Jesus told the crowd "He who is without sin cast the first stone."
Mea Culpa. I am not without sin or thoughtlessness.
Being in a pissy mood is not an excuse for attacking the men on this forum.
You are all lovely men and obviously love your spouses. I do not know what prompted me to be so hostile. I humbly beg your forgiveness. OMG I am sounding like some crazy person.
 
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To all.
I apologize for offending anyone. Not my intention.
Russ - did you notice that in your post you referred to your wife as My Wife instead of The Wife? Yes Russ you are not only OK but better than OK. So are all of the forum members.
G has a very bad habit of referring to professional women in his industry as GALS or GIRLS. I jump his back side every time I hear him do so. I have tried to explain to him that it is a matter of respect to refer to female associates as women. They are not girls or gals. He would never refer to his male associates as boys or Bubbas.
I am not without sin. I do refer to G's friends, acquaintances and associates as Buds or Bubbas. I need to do better. Buds are not bad - short for buddies. Bubbas are another issue. For those of you on the other side of the pond bubba is a derogatory term for white, under educated, assertive southern men. Education is optional. Not a flattering reference.
"My Wife/Husband/Spouse/Partner" has no more a connotation of possession than My Mother, My Sister, My Sibling, My Boss, My Friend, My Co-worker..

I am ashamed of myself.
When presented with a prostitute and challenged to punish her by stoning Jesus told the crowd "He who is without sin cast the first stone."
Mea Culpa. I am not without sin or thoughtlessness.
Being in a pissy mood is not an excuse for attacking the men on this forum.
You are all lovely men and obviously love your spouses. I do not know what prompted me to be so hostile. I humbly beg your forgiveness. OMG I am sounding like some crazy person.

Lol, no offence taken, you don't sound crazy at all. I thought your prostitute line was the start of a joke I know. :) :)

Russ
 
I am steamed.:mad:
When men refer to their spouses as "the wife".
What is with that? What is wrong with My Wife?

I've been thinking the same thing. I do find it demeaning and objectifying. In the UK it would be regarded so, I think. by quite a lot of people. As you say, most women don't say 'the husband' (although I note that TastyReuben's spouse says 'the hubs'. In the UK 'the missus' is used by some people. It used to be the way comedians would refer to their wives in jokes - jokes which usually portrayed their spouses in a negative light.

The semantics of sexism is a complex subject and there are many example of phrases and words which most men and indeed many women use which are by their nature, forms of sexism.

Here is more fuel for thought. Women sometimes call their spouse 'hubby'. It is supposed to convey a sort of cosy affectionate impression (I think). Personally I don't like it because I think its a bit demeaning. However, if a man refers to his spouse as 'wifey' it would definitely come across as demeaning. Now why is that?
 
The one thing that always gets Mrs Wyshiepoo's goat are formal invites etc. that go along the lines of 'such and such a place would like to invite Mr and Mrs *. ** ** **** to attend a big shindig at an hotel.'

"I am not 'just' your wife, I'm a person in my own rights."
 
ElizabethB - don't beat yourself up about it. First, I wasn't offended. At all. I really see most cases of offense as based in misunderstanding/miscommunication anyway, so there's no point in getting offended over something like that.

Maybe I'd feel slightly differently if I were in town with MrsTasty, referred to her as "the wife," and a complete stranger butted in and expressed their displeasure on my wife's behalf, I'd probably be a little offended, because they don't know me, or my wife, or our relationship. They'd also likely get a "don't you dare presume to speak for me" takedown by my wife in the bargain. :laugh:

I'm saying all that just to point out that, at least on this forum, you're not a stranger. You're a friend. Through your posts, we know you're not a jerk. We know you're a funny and smart person. You have credibility, so that gives a little different perspective.

As far as girls/gals go, I live in a very socially conservative area. Women routinely refer to themselves as girls/gals, and men do refer to themselves and their friends as boys. As an example, the pharmacy where we go is completely staffed by women, from early 20's to mid-40's, and we'd given them a big tray of Christmas cookies over the holiday, and in one of our prescription packages we picked up later was a thank-you card from "All the girls in the pharmacy."

I do not do that. Before a moved away from this area (I've obviously since moved back), I did do that, because it was (and still is) the norm. After living in many, many different places, I was broken of the habit.

Sorry this post is so long, but subjects like this are ones I love think about, because they're as much philosophical as anything else. :)

Anyway, all I'm saying is, from where I'm sitting, you're absolutely fine. Zero offense taken, so little that you don't even have anything to apologize for. 👍🏻
 
Elizabeth, no apology needed. We are all different and we feel what we feel. I meant no disrespect when I started mine with hahaha.. It was more so directed at my life and relationship. I love reading your posts and the passions you display - wish we lived closer, would love to meet you in person!
 
:cry::thankyou:
The kindness and love of all of you moves me to tears.
I know that I sometimes get on a rant without thinking about how it may sound. I am guilty of the very thing I rant about. :oops:
You are all the best, most caring, loving group of people. I would feel privileged to meet any of you.
 
:cry::thankyou:
The kindness and love of all of you moves me to tears.
I know that I sometimes get on a rant without thinking about how it may sound. I am guilty of the very thing I rant about. :oops:
You are all the best, most caring, loving group of people. I would feel privileged to meet any of you.

Mrs rascal ( shall I call her that now?) often refers to me as numbnuts, mr 7 also calls me it as well. Imagine him walking In the door after school, walking past me and saying, hey numbnuts,lol.
I've been called worse. :)

Russ
 
Mrs rascal ( shall I call her that now?) often refers to me as numbnuts, mr 7 also calls me it as well. Imagine him walking In the door after school, walking past me and saying, hey numbnuts,lol.
I've been called worse. :)

Russ
I just spit my coffee out reading about Mr 7 - he is lucky to have you as a grandpa with a sense of humor!
 
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