Cream or milk never goes near our gravy. That would be a sauce.
Ok, here's a little story:
Where I'm from, white/milk gravy is extremely popular, especially over (American) biscuits at breakfast time, and every home cook (typically a woman when I was growing up) was proud of her gravy, and every kid would tell you, "Nobody makes gravy like Mom!" We can get misty-eyed thinking about that gravy.
When I first started cooking at home, I learned basics, like cooking eggs. I made easy breads, moved up to other things, but I stayed away from learning to make gravy. That was in my mom's wheelhouse, she was the gravy maker, and that was that.
When I moved out on my own, and cooked more and more, I always had this mental block over milk gravy. I never learned to make it, and it became this almost mythical thing that only chubby little country moms
could make, so I just figured I'd get good gravy when I went home, and that was that. You bet when I did visit, I ate a lot of biscuits and gravy.
More years went by, and I became a better cook, made more complex things, and regularly made dishes well outside the cuisine I grew up with.
Finally (and this wasn't that long ago), I tentatively approached my mom about how she made gravy. Maybe because she was feeling her mortality, she agreed to show me.
"Ok, now...get your skillet hot, but not too hot, and put in a little bit of bacon grease <spoons in four or five tablespoons> and let that melt. You want that skillet greasy.
"Once that's going good, get about the same in some flour and put that in there, and then stir it, oh, for a couple of minutes. You don't want to see no white from the flour, and you don't want no lumps.
Now pour in, oh I don't know, a good amount of milk, up to here <points to an imaginary line on the side of the skillet>, turn your heat up to get this good and hot, and stir and don't stop stirring, or you'll get them lumps, and you just keep stirring. And don't boil it, just simmer it. Stir and stir, and make sure you get all around the edge, because it'll stick there. And stir and stir, and after a few minutes, maybe five or 10 minutes, it'll get thick. May as well add your pepper now. You can add salt, too, but that grease is a little salty, so keep that in mind. Lots of pepper, though. You want to see the pepper all through it. "
"So, you're saying about equal parts fat and flour, cook that a bit, then your milk, and cook until it's thick?"
"Yessir, that's about it."
"That's just a bechamel sauce."
"Well, I don't know about beschy Mel, but this here is gravy!"
