What have you cooked which was a disaster?

Elawin

Elawin

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When I was feeling really poorly a couple of weeks ago with toothache/face ache/jaw ache and absolutely stuffed full of strong antibiotics and painkillers, I discovered I'd run out of bread :hyper: Because I didn't feel like making it from scratch and can't stand supermarket bread (it was afternoon, and the local bakers was shut for the day), I turned to a sourdough bread kit that I must have used hundreds of times over the past few years. It was a complete and utter disaster - undercooked and soggy. I don't know what I did wrong. The kit is usually pretty fool proof. I'm sure I'd used the correct oven temperature and baked it for the usual length of time, and the kit still had a couple of months to go date-wise, yet it was absolutely awful. The loaf I'd cut went straight in the bin. The other loaf is languishing in the freezer with the knobbies I've saved for making a bread pudding at some stage soon.
 
My latest disaster was trying to make vegan croissants with vegetable margarine. I did not realise the importance of very high fat content margarine and ended up with sad, soggy croissants sitting in pools of fat. I've since discovered Tomor margarine which works!
 
I miss read a recipe when making Christmas cake and added three if not four times the amount of sugar. As I put it into the oven I remember thinking "that doesn't look right" and after half an hour in the oven I had a molten mass of super hot melted sugar with some fruit floating around. Moral of the story is don't make Christmas cake whilst distracted....
 
Other than my recent Boeuf Bourguignon debacle two really EPIC fails come to mind.

I was in my early 20's, a new bride (first marriage) and wanted to cook dinner for my parents and in-laws. I decided to make a chicken and sausage gumbo. I REALLY thought I knew what I was doing. As the eldest of 7 children I assisted my Mother in the kitchen for years. The operative word is assisted. I chopped and diced and stirred and added ingredients at her direction.

I started early in the morning. First I made a dark Roux. Lovely. I seasoned and browned my chicken and sausage. Deglazed the pan. Chopped all of my seasonings. Put it all in my gumbo pot and started cooking.

While my gumbo simmered I cooked my rice, made a potato salad and prepared a French bread with butter, garlic and Parmesan - ready to toast in the oven.

I was SOO proud of myself. I really had it together. I had plenty of time to clean the kitchen, set the table then shower and dress.

Before turning the heat off under my gumbo pot I tasted for seasoning. :yuck: All I tasted was roux!! I :cry:.

I was frantic.

I took all of the solids out of the pot. Removed some of the liquid. Added water (I did not know about broths and stocks) . Heated. Tasted. Still too much roux. Repeat 2 more times. Finally - a decent gumbo base. Added everything back to pot and prayed.

It was the worst gumbo I ever made.

2nd Epic Fail

A couple of years later.

A co-worker was a hunter and had an excess of wild rabbits. Click! I can get some rabbits and grill them for my parents and siblings and my husband's parents and siblings. I got 12 skinned rabbits - $1 each.

My only experience with game was eating it. I had NO experience cooking game. Dad and my brothers hunted. Dad cooked the game.

Step #1

Call Dad.

Question #1 How do I cut it?
Question #2 What next?

Dad said to cut it like a chicken then marinade it over night in some vinegar to get the gamy taste out. Rinse. Pat dry. Season like chicken for grilling.

I did as he instructed.

Again very proud of myself.

I had side dishes made. The rabbit was ready for the grill. The family gathered.

My Ex put the rabbit on the grill and - :yuck: an overwhelming smell of vinegar!

I :cry:

Dad laughed until he :cry:

When he told me to marinade in vinegar he meant 2 or 3 TBSP. I used a gallon.

We had take out fried chicken.
 
I made some more sourdough bread from a kit today. Because of my previous disaster, I made extra sure that I followed the instructions to the letter. It was horrible! I phoned the supermarket (Tesco) customer service line and told them what had happened. I now have a credit for slightly more than the cost of the two packs :happy:
 
Battered vegetables, like today.
I had leftover courgette flowers, so I wanted to prepare them in batter. I have already prepared the batter, but I did not always do well, but sometimes yes. Here, this was one of those no. A disaster. A batter halfway between an omelette and a cream of flour. I killed the flowers, when I pulled them out of the frying-pan seemed faded.
So lunch was a quick sandwich with salame because then I did not have time to do anything else.
 
@morning glory

Yep. I followed a recipe given by the flour brand I used. Tescos sell frozen gf profiteroles so I think I'll just buy these in future. Profileroles and custard slices are the two things my husband says he misses (more than bread). I'll try the custard slices next. Prepare for another post on this thread:cool:.
 
Herbie said:
@morning glory

Yep. I followed a recipe given by the flour brand I used. Tescos sell frozen gf profiteroles so I think I'll just buy these in future. Profileroles and custard slices are the two things my husband says he misses (more than bread). I'll try the custard slices next. Prepare for another post on this thread:cool:.
Click to expand...

I think gluten free is a difficult thing. What is the flour you use?
 
Karen W said:
It's hard to pick the worst.
To name one, my first Thanksgiving turkey. I forgot to remove the giblets.:rolleyes: Surprise!
Click to expand...

My wife once didn't remove the giblets - and they were in a plastic bag!
 
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