Hummm. I'm not actually an ex-pat... we don't have permanent residency. In fact we don't actually have a residency visa but a 457 visa which is a skilled worker visa which entitles us to stay in the country until 2020 currently. So we are sponsored by my husband's company.
Right me, well it's a book in its own right really (as well as
@Cinisajoy's) and not a great one either.
Mum married a violent alcoholic who was also a rapist & drug dealer to fund his own habit. Drugs and alcohol featured in his childcare and my health now pays that price tag. She left him after 2nd child was born when he threatened to kill me and took a knife to my throat. Her parents stepped in and I lived with them for a while. My brother was safe, he was the son our father had always wanted. He stalked us for many years, naturally didn't get custody and well, let's just say I know now why we lived in some many different houses over the years in my early days. Eventually he had to leave the country. I guess the police were too close to tracking him down. I have no issues in not knowing him. It is for the best.
Then a period living in a council house, single parent family on poverty line. I realise now that my mother wasn't eating because we simply didn't have the money. Our evening meal was typically 1/3-1/2 a tin of Heinz tomato soup with a little grated cheese in it, a sliced of bread and a glass of milk if there was any. My main meal of the day was a free school lunch. Breakfast was oatmeal/porridge. Mum became one of the founding members of an organisation for battered wives and their children. A picture I drew was for many years their logo.
Mum remarried He was a verbally abusive alcoholic. She became the same with some violence in there as well. Only thing I got out of it was better food, own bedroom, a private education, another 2 siblings: I brought both of them up. I also ran away from home several times during this period, cut my wrists, anorexic, etc, tried to get help no one listened. you know how it goes. Divorce followed.
Husband no 3 is TT and a really nice man (a reformed alcoholic, can't ever drink again, next one will kill him). But he is really nice and they are really happy and they are ideal for each other. Oh and I acquired another sibling... I'm still the eldest but only by a couple of months!
End of my A levels (oh, messed those up after being expelled but that is another story)... go to uni or be thrown out (mum was still married to no 2)... great choices. Uni, 3 years hard work - 1st class honours, got engaged, pregnant, miscarriage (all 2nd yr), & married once we could afford it. Been happily married 20 years now.
Best friend committed suicide whilst we were at uni and I've lost another to suicide in the last 5 years. I'm not sure if that makes me a really bad friend or I just happen to befriend the wrong people. But I don't have many friends and those I do have can be counted on one hand.
There's loads more - won't cover it, its worse, I wouldn't inflict my childhood on my worst enemy... but we deal with what we are given... or try to.
So where did food come into all of it? I had many periods living with my grannie and she taught me how to cook and she always cooked from scratch. She loved cooking and loved cooking for me. She happily cooked vegetarian for me (we stayed with her 1 day a week term time, and I pretty much lived with her every school holiday) etc. I naturally carried on cooking the way I was taught, and always cooked from scratch whilst those around me.... Luckily my hubby came from a stable home, but with all the children his parents had, well they cooked from scratch as well. Ends met for them, but only just with the aid of an allotment & small garden.
Ironically through all of this, I have actually managed to live most of my life in a rural home. Even the council house we lived in was rural - very last house in the village. The only time I lived in a town was at Uni and I hated it. Managed to get on the very edge of town during my 1st & 3rd years which helped. Lived in some of the most remote mainland parts of England and Scotland. Nearly ended up living in Norway, Outer Hebrides and one or two other wonderful places, but have lived in some amazing places as well. All very remote and the sort of place you have to be completely independent and when you only have 1/2 a tank for fuel left in the car, you start to worry and fill up at the very next petrol station - those kind of places (and always have 2 or more Jerry cans of fuel at home!)
