Your mental health

SatNavSaysStraightOn

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Do the people around you help you out at all?

My neighbour has offered to help but honestly I feel guilty adding someone well into her 70's to come and chop our wood on top of her own!

Hubby and I had to help her out before his surgery to re-erect a boundary fence (300-400m of it were flat to the ground) because she'd not been able to get anyone out to help do it (paid work). She's got a few items of shopping for me and today at knitting insisted on carrying my rucksack to my vehicle for me because I was hurting too much and one of my legs had gone numb from sitting on the hard chairs.

But otherwise it is just hubby and I. There is literally no one else.
 

PabloLerntKochen

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Who did already try out or even mastered meditation? Since some weeks I'm listening to a guided sleep meditation and couldn't define any exact change in my wellbeing. Guess it's like with sport, do the minimal amount and you get minimal changes, but as it's considered to be one of the activities to do on a daily basis to prevent burnouts and many more, I'll stick to it.
 

JAS_OH1

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Who did already try out or even mastered meditation? Since some weeks I'm listening to a guided sleep meditation and couldn't define any exact change in my wellbeing. Guess it's like with sport, do the minimal amount and you get minimal changes, but as it's considered to be one of the activities to do on a daily basis to prevent burnouts and many more, I'll stick to it.
I think it's much like taking vitamins, you often don't notice the effect while you are taking them but when you stop you don't feel as good. I like to take walks in the park or even driving on quiet country roads in lieu of focused meditation.
 

SatNavSaysStraightOn

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Who did already try out or even mastered meditation? Since some weeks I'm listening to a guided sleep meditation and couldn't define any exact change in my wellbeing. Guess it's like with sport, do the minimal amount and you get minimal changes, but as it's considered to be one of the activities to do on a daily basis to prevent burnouts and many more, I'll stick to it.
I found guided sleep mediation worked for a while for me. I tried it out for over a year during a 4 month period in hospital and subsequent rehab at home. It worked for me. But I've also established what stops me sleeping and now the bedroom is only for sleeping in. We don't have a TV or desk in there, we don't sit in bed and have breakfast. The bed and bedroom is solely for going to bed and sleeping. It works for me but it's taken a long time to train myself to associate the bedroom with sleep because in my past the bedroom was a safe zone that we hid in as a kid. Literally the moment we got home we'd go to our room and only come out for food and the bathroom...

Most of the sleep mediation stuff is simply training you to switch off and not get lost in thoughts. I used the app called Calm because the hospital I was in had a deal with them for unrestricted access for 1 year for all patients. I bought a second year and stopped using it after that.
 

JAS_OH1

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Who did already try out or even mastered meditation? Since some weeks I'm listening to a guided sleep meditation and couldn't define any exact change in my wellbeing. Guess it's like with sport, do the minimal amount and you get minimal changes, but as it's considered to be one of the activities to do on a daily basis to prevent burnouts and many more, I'll stick to it.
I've never tried sleep meditation.
 

PabloLerntKochen

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After TastyReuben mentioned, that he's going to bed and waking up at the same time every day, I tried out the same. Sleep rhythm is pretty cool, don't watch on a screen or consume any form of blue light (sun) or sweet stuff, don't do exhausting things 1 hour before bedtime and your body is producing melatonin like hell. My bedroom is now darkened in the day, what keeps it cool. All my friends know when I've to go to bed and nobody cares, tbh I thought they wouldn't like me anymore, if I can't be around them whenever they want, paranoia maybe?
 

JAS_OH1

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tbh I thought they wouldn't like me anymore, if I can't be around them whenever they want, paranoia maybe?
No, I don't think it's not paranoia, I think it's perfectly natural. Good to know your friends aren't like that.

I've had a few of what I call "fairweather friends" in my life, I think many of us have.
 

Windigo

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Who did already try out or even mastered meditation? Since some weeks I'm listening to a guided sleep meditation and couldn't define any exact change in my wellbeing. Guess it's like with sport, do the minimal amount and you get minimal changes, but as it's considered to be one of the activities to do on a daily basis to prevent burnouts and many more, I'll stick to it.
Screenshot from my meditation app:
88722

I've had this app for a few years, but I've been meditating for the past 20 years. It says " 1085 daily sessions ' and ' 187 consecutive days '.
I always meditate before going to sleep, and it helps me a lot to relax.
It's a tool to help you calm down and relax first and foremost.

Over time and with good training it can be used to learn to be more focussed and analyse your own thought process. I am able to detach from my feelings of stress or anger when meditating, and to look at them that way usually changes the feeling or view you have on something.

I recommend doing meditation lessons with a Buddhist or zen teacher, in my experience they explain things the best and with the most patience.
 

Windigo

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No, I don't think it's not paranoia, I think it's perfectly natural. Good to know your friends aren't like that.

I've had a few of what I call "fairweather friends" in my life, I think many of us have.
My experience is that most people are such friends. I might sound jaded but having been ill for more than 6 years really shows me most people are there for the fun, and if you're somehow unable to provide much fun they're gone with the wind.

I'm very, very lucky to now be in a place where I have a loving husband and friends despite what's going on with my health.
 

JAS_OH1

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My experience is that most people are such friends. I might sound jaded but having been ill for more than 6 years really shows me most people are there for the fun, and if you're somehow unable to provide much fun they're gone with the wind.

I'm very, very lucky to now be in a place where I have a loving husband and friends despite what's going on with my health.
The last few years the only friends I had, were easy friends. They come and they go, if you don't invest something in them. Now I'm working on some deeper and long-term relationships.
I think you count yourself lucky if you can count all your "real" friends on one hand (truly blessed if you can count them on both hands), and having your partner as your best friend is an amazing thing.
 

rascal

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Dont know much about meditation, but I have very close friends who I've known from high school. My bestie married about 5 years ago but I e known her about 15 years. She is the newest. An only child I treat her like the sister I never had. We eat here and play euchre regularly. 1 friend I went to kindergarten with.

Russ
 
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