Jokes about complaints in restaurants

[Sandra Piddock]

As I'm posting here, Tony's on his own laptop, watching Tommy Cooper on YouTube. The skit he's just done was about restaurant complaints and waiter's responses, and these cracked me up:

Tommy: This chicken has one leg longer than the other.
Waiter: Does it matter? You're eating it, not dancing with it.

Tommy: This lobster only has one claw.
Waiter: It's been in a fight.
Tommy: Well take it away and bring me the winner!

Tommy: What type of soup is this?
Waiter: It's bean soup.
Tommy: I didn't ask what it's been - what is it now?

Okay, I'll laugh at anything when it's hot like this. What about you? Do you have any jokes about restaurant complaints to share?

 

[Arch]

On the bean topic, not a joke...

A few years ago, I was in France with my friends at their house, and we were entertaining their French neighbours with a buffet. One of the things was a big tin of mixed pulses, drained and mixed with a tomato sauce to make a bean salad.

My friend and I were working out whether we could explain the old "I don't care what it's been..." style of joke in our less than fluent French. We decided that we could, just about, but it probably wasn't funny enough to bother!

 

[colly]

Waiter ! There is a fly in my soup.
Quiet Sir. They will all want one.

 

[Sandra Piddock]

The there's this one:

'Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup?'
'It looks like the breast stroke to me, sir!'

 

[colly]

Water, there's a worm in my pie.

That's fat sir

So it should be. It's eaten all the meat