Attention Deficit Hyperactivitey Disorder (HDHD).

[GadgetGuy]

Do any of you have or know a child or adult who has this disorder? I do!

One small child in particular, I know who has it. He and his 3 other siblings come over to a friend's house on some weekends. Three boys and a baby girl. This boy is the oldest child of the four and he's five years old.

Anyway, when he's there, and if he gets into something that he should not be doing, the babysitter yells at scolds and spanks him!! Every time that he does something that she does not like, she is on him! We all know that children are supposed to behave and do what is asked of them, but I feel so bad for this little boy! His younger brothers and baby sister may also have ADHD as well, by the way that they act.

They are considered to be special needs children. Of course, I love them all and they are so near & dear to my heart. But the oldest boy, even though he is the oldest, he has captured my heart, and he has a tendency to not stay still, looks for things to get into & he has to be told something at least three or more times. I'd LOVE to work with him and show him that I care. I would NOT treat him badly!!

I don't think that he should be scolded, yelled at or spanked!! He should be talked to and treated like a human being. Not like someone who should be scolded all the time!! She does not really put him in any real pain, but just the thought of him being treated that way makes me mad at her and I feel so bad for him. It is the EMOTIONAL pain that I am worried about!! This cute sweet little boy has a disorder that some people probably won't accept, and so the babysitter probably uses his disorder to constantly chastise and badger him with insults and spankings!!

If I say something, then there will be a big argument, so I keep my mouth shut, but I kindly talk to the boy and explain to him that I know what he is going through and that it is not his fault. I've seen this disorder in many children and even a few adults as well!! I love him and his siblings and want so bad to help them!! They are otherwise very happy & playful most of the time.

 

[SatNavSaysStraightOn]

I watched a girl go through secondary school with it (undiagnosed at the time) and know her now as well. She is much calmer on her meds and it has helped her enormously. Only now is she beginning to settle down and be able to study, but it could also be too late for her now in her mid 20's. She used to spend a lot of time with me when I worked in the school, and on occasion (and after a lot of paperwork, parents', housemaster and headmaster's consent, she would come a stay with me to get away from the environment that wound her up. You can't tell them off, you need calmness and understanding, you need to talk to them and see that they understand and take the time out that is needed with them. Which reminds me, I need to email her and check she is OK before I go on holiday on Saturday.

 

[GadgetGuy]

I took the boy out with me to the neighborhood sub shop. He was not a problem at all then!! He was counting the dark tiles on the wall where we wait to get the food. One of the employees there gave him a free slice of cheese pizza!

He asks a lot of questions and I try to answer them all for him. He makes me feel as though he were MY child!! I wish that he were though!! He IS a very wonderful loving child!!
His babysitter thinks that I don't know much about kids, since I don't have any of my own, but I know more about kids than she thinks I do or gives me credit for!!

Kids do things to get attention most of the time, but this is a special needs child. One of my grand nephews have ADD, so I know what he goes through at times.

 

[Rosyrain]

I have dealt with and watched kids in the past with ADHD and it can be very exhausting. Their little minds go a hundred miles per hour and they do not ever seem to stop. I have a feeling that my own daughter may have a touch of this herself, but I have never taken her in to get her diagnosed. For severe cases, the medicines that doctors give do help out. You just have to be very patient with kids with ADHD and not yell at them, as much as you may have the urge to sometimes.

 

[GadgetGuy]

I have dealt with and watched kids in the past with ADHD and it can be very exhausting. Their little minds go a hundred miles per hour and they do not ever seem to stop. I have a feeling that my own daughter may have a touch of this herself, but I have never taken her in to get her diagnosed. For severe cases, the medicines that doctors give do help out. You just have to be very patient with kids with ADHD and not yell at them, as much as you may have the urge to sometimes.

Truedat, truedat!

Honestly, it is my belief that kids with ADHD DO seriously need lots of love, special attention & extra care & some understanding. But NOT the negative kind!! They need to know that they are special human beings like all of us are. And that it is NOT their fault that they have ADHD!!

There is no sense in caring for a child who has this special disorder if you are going to be mean & nasty toward the child, scorn and treat him or her like they are yesterday's trash!!!!! At this point, the person should back off and let a more caring person care for him and help him deal with the disorder in a kind & positive way.

And if all the person whose care they are in is going to scold, yell at and spank him or her - in other worlds, give him or her the kinds of attention that's meant to always berate and chastise him for the wrong things that he might do, then they certainly have a lot to learn when it comes to babysitting with them!!

I've become very attached to this little boy & his siblings! When I talk to them, I always do it in a kind & friendly way. It could very well be that this little boy lashes out at the babysitter because she is always so harsh on him if he does something wrong. If only she would try to explain to him that he shouldn't do those things, then maybe he would understand better. I was also told that he was being inappropriately touched by an older 8-year-old boy. That might have something to do with it. His little but growing mind is probably not strong enough to process and deal with all that he's going though, and my worst fear is that he might end up like me - being diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder!!!!! This mean & nasty treatment could place undo stress on the boy!!!

I hope not though. He is still such a sweet little boy, and it just pains me to see him get scolded all the time for something that is entirely not his fault!!

 

[cupcakechef]

My brother was diagnosed with it growing up. He was certainly a very active child who couldn't stay focused on one thing for very long - but I also do wonder at the time if it was that era of over-diagnosis of ADHD. Please don't get me wrong - I legitimately think it's a serious issue, but I feel like there was a time period in growing up for me where every second child had ADHD and it was honestly just a kid being an active, excitable, occasionally lacking focus child.

Makes me mad though that someone would scold or yell at a child in that way - honestly, if anything that's just going to push the child in the opposite direction of lashing out more, if you ask me!

 

[GadgetGuy]

From the very moment that the kids got into the building & headed for the elevator, she was on him!! He put their little box of toys inside the elevator and let the door close. She was scolding him for THAT!!
Once on the 3rd floor and into the apartment, the berating, continues! Another thing that I don't like is that she and a friend staying in the apartment say that he is a "yellow" boy - just because he has a much lighter complexion than his siblings do!! To me, that sounds prejudice & racist! To me, he is a very special boy with special needs!! I told her that I do not like it when they do that to him! She says that she dos not mean anything by it, yet she got hopping mad at me the other day when I made a comment about her little nephew - the one who likes to eat junk food!!!

If they want the boy to respect them, then they should at least try to show some respect for HIM!! You can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar!! The boy is nice to me because I am nice to him. I don't believe in hitting children at all!! Yeah, spare the rod, spoil the child, so they say, but still, I'd much rather TALK to the child and kindly try to get him to understand that he has this problem and that things can be greatly accomplished when he takes the time out to stay focused, concentrate and understand things.

I think that they are just mean to this little boy and his siblings!!! It is not fair to them to be treated like trash!!! If they are going to berate and scold the kids, then they should not be babysitting with them!!! She does it to get paid - that's fine. But she should treat them like she would want them to treat her. Bottom line!!!