Well its a real problem when people with dementia live alone and won't get help. Its different here because obviously I can look after Steve. For a long time now he has been unable to survive on his own and would be in care permanently if I weren't here. Your Mum is in denial its seems so won't accept help and is also quite rational at some level. That intermediate stage is very difficult. I used to have a tracking device (a watch) that Steve wore when he was still at the stage of being able to be semi independent.
Was the car accident her fault?
My fifth attempt to reply to this post
Yep a strong case of denial but not real denial because she knows but just can't admit it. Her covering behaviours are numerous.
I’ll talk to her again when she comes down 6th June. I will lay out what the pathways are and the what is going to happen on the one she’s choosing. I’ll also explain a nicer way to do things.
She may accept help after that but it may have to wait until her appointment at the memory clinic and the stark medical diagnosis is in front of her. Even then it could still be a “no leave me alone” response
She has an apple watch but doesn’t wear it so the phones the closest thing to any chance of locating her, when we get to that stage.
Driving wise she’s been an accident waiting to happen for a while.
The first thing she said was “it wasn’t my fault” and has stuck with that.
But the police called an ambulance and insisted she went to hospital and impounded her car, when she went to get it back they said no so I’m sure theres more to that story than I’m hearing.
She said repeatedly she’s glad no-one was hurt and she was going to give up driving anyway.
I’m sure it was her fault.
She also said “How could you forgive yourself if you carried on driving and hurt someone?”
When I asked her that in January she just shrugged and did carry on driving even though people refused to get into the car with her, she ignored me when I said it was time to look at alternatives. She even threatened me before her doctors appointment that if I got her driving licence taken away there would be big trouble.
Thing is I got in the car with her to see what her driving was like due to her friends complaints it was almost flawless so I had no grounds to go any further.
I’m relieved that bits over!
Spent a large portion of the afternoon dealing with her solicitor, the office of the public guardian, the land registry, her GP surgery and trying to sort out her phone. For a change it mostly went well and I got a lot done so thats nice.
