How would you tell someone that their cooking is bad?

GadgetGuy

GadgetGuy

(Formerly Shermie)
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How would you do it without offending them or making them feel embarrassed or sad?

There are quite a few people I know who can't cook, yet they try to anyway. Guess that they DO STILL have to eat,
but what would you say to those who just can't cook, no matter how hard they try to, without looking a gift horse in the mouth?

I would usually offer a few suggestions, or tell them how I do a certain dish(s), & see if that works for them, see if they'll except that idea and follow through with it the next time that they make the dish again. :speechless::stop:
 
Constructive critism ,start with a low and end with a high ,
I have to do it every day ,this was not so good but this was really good,
One of my rules of life is !never admit you like any thing ,or you will get it all the time,
 
My 11-year-old grand nephew once did that to me!
He once told me that a chicken that I roasted was too dry. But is was NOT. I was hurt when he said that! He probably does not realize how so brutally outspoken that he can be!!!
Even though he loves to cook, one morning while staying with me, he made some scrambled eggs for himself, myself and his brother. They were awfully dry & brown!

I realize that he's not that well experienced with cooking yet, so instead of hurting his feelings, I offered him a little constructive criticism, telling him to let the skillet become very hot, but not SCREAMING hot, as Rachael Ray would say, then spray the pan with a cooking spray or add a little oil or bacon grease to the pan and immediately add the eggs, stirring vigorously fast to keep them from sticking & browning while keeping them soft. He thanked me for it and said; That is GOOD!

I know this friend. She's a very nice person, but when she does a whole stuffed chicken in the oven (she's going to do one today), she covers it with foil and it ends up coming out looking like it was boiled and with the skin on it soft!! It tasted good, but I just couldn't eat the soft skin!! She said; "Don't worry about it, just leave that on the plate. I don't eat soft skin either."

But I always thought that a chicken, whether it is stuffed or not, is roasted uncovered, out in the dry open heat of the oven. At least that is how I always do one. I let her know that the last time that she did one.
But I don't think that she'll do it the way that I kindly suggest, so I just leave it alone, rather than open a can of worms. :unsure:
 
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I think the OP has a good plan. I would try saying 'have you tried doing it this way'. Don't say theirs is bad just that your suggestion is 'different' and maybe worth a go. Also tell them about any disasters you've had [we've ALL had them] and ask if they have any problems, it may open up a whole list of way to help.
 
I'll say something along the lines of "That was nice but you know what would make it even better? If you did X, Y or Z. I bet that would taste great!"If I know that a friend is a really bad cook, I often just make an excuse and say I've already eaten.
 
I've done both of those things.

Some people though, are set in their ways & refuse to change things. They may ACCEPT your advice, but in most cases, they won't make the change. I don't want to just come right out and say; "You just can't do X,Y or Z like I can do it." That would most like start up World War 3!!! :ohmy: :stop:
 
Do you think they know their cooking is bad? I would assume they know, since the must have tastebuds and can tell the difference between a good meal and their cooking! Honestly I would never want to tell or even imply to anyone that their cooking is bad, as I would hate to hurt their feelings. If they are in the midst of cooking and I see something they could add or change then I might jump in and say something right there, but if the meal is already cooked and done I would never comment negatively on it.
 
I know how to cook and sometimes if I saw that my dish has little leftovers things start thinking in my mind if the people who had eaten my dish is satisfied or not even though they are not saying anything about it. That is why vice versa if I am the one who had eaten a dish that I dislike I will not tell to that person that their cooking is bad. I know the feelings will be hurt and be embarrass as well. Just as a respect to the person who had spend time preparing and cooking for that dish.
 
Unless the person is like my significant other, I probably would not tell them right away that the dish was bad. It might be something that I brought up months down the road, after the meal has long since passed, but I would not want to hurt the person's feelings. It is different with my significant other because we are brutally honest when it comes to things we cook in the kitchen for each other. If we really don't like it, we say something so that the dish is not cooked again.
 
I knew a woman who just couldn't cook most things at all!!
Sadly, she died late last spring, and I would hate to talk bad about her, but let's face it, she just couldn't cook a lick!!
When she cooked pasta, it was so grossly overcooked, soft and mushy, that a baby could just swallow it and he wouldn't have to worry about choking on it if he didn't chew it first. She cooked a chicken in the oven at a regular normal temp for over 6 hours!! When she boiled cabbage, it was so grossly soft and watery that you had water at the bottom of the plate! She couldn't cook rice either. It was so gummy and soft that it looked almost like grits or mashed potatoes!!

I just was not going to eat any more of her cooking, because it was just way too soft and grossly overcooked!

Finally, & after not being able to stomach her cooking any longer, at this point, I just told her that I just ate before coming over! :yuck: :sick: :stop:
 
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Maybe I am fortunate, but most of my friend who can't cook well will declare their hand and ask for help. In my circle of friends we know who's good at what and in the case of not so good cooks we help out.

The post ask how would you tell "someone" that the cooking isn't good. If that someone is not close me, I imagine my actions would tell the story. I don't eat something if it's not good, so I'll be speaking with my actions by not eating it. If it's a restaurant, where I'm being asked and it's a fine dining situation, I'll nicely point out what I found to be bad about the dish or again leave it and go without a word.

I find myself trapped when I get great service and bad food. It's more difficult for me to say something then as I so appreciate good service.
 
Anyone whom I've had bad experiences from their cooking, I just don't go back over to their house. I have to make some excuse, or just plain respectfully decline! "I'm on a strict diet and can't eat some things." :stop:
 
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One thing to remember is it may taste bad to you and ok to them. Who is to say it is not so good to them if they have done nothing to change the way they cook.
 
I agree, it could be a mixture of them liking the food that way to begin with, in addition to them simply not being able to cook. It's one thing when a person tries to recreate a popular/common recipe at home and misses the mark completely, as opposed to them intentionally cooking something a certain way that they know is much different than how it's typically cooked and enjoyed, because they specifically like it that way.

A friend of mine for example will not eat sausage unless it's burnt to the point of more or less being beef jerky. We've tried to talk him out of doing this, especially when some other mutual friends of ours make home made sausages and bring them over to cook, then he burns them to a crisp. It's kind of inconsiderate for him to ruin all that home made sausage like that and make everyone else suffer eating it all dried out and burnt. He could have just as easily burned his own portion and let everyone else have properly cooked sausages.

My mom is another one - she won't touch a steak if it has a hint of pink in it. Then she complains that the filet mignon she had at a given restaurant was too dry and chewy - what do you expect? It's meant to be cooked medium rare - well done will turn into a hockey puck.

One of the ways I will sometimes drop a hint is if we are eating out at a restaurant, and I order an item that they had tried to cook for me in the past - I will point out all the things I like about the restaurant version, hoping they will recall how theirs was nothing like this. One thing that immediately comes to mind are when people try to make buffalo wings in a crock pot - there is no way in the universe you are going to get crispy fried wings coated in wing sauce out of a slow cooker. All you will wind up with is slimy, greasy, mushy chicken that is way overcooked and falling apart on you. So if we order wings at a restaurant, I may be like, "these are so crispy, it's like they just pulled them out of the fryer!" to drop a hint.
 
Super tough. Simple answer is: I never would tell them. I'd just give them suggestions they would have to take.

'Hey, Sue. Man, I hate to tell you but I'm allergic to burnt eggs. Yes, I know it's incredible difficult to burn them but when you manage to I almost die. Let me show you a few tricks I learned...'
 
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