If I owned a restaurant...

Morning Glory

Morning Glory

Obsessive cook
Staff member
Joined
19 Apr 2015
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Location
Maidstone, Kent, UK
If you started up a restaurant what type of food would you serve? Doesn't have to be a restaurant. Maybe a food truck, diner or a café.

There is nothing on earth would induce me start up a restaurant or any other eatery unless I was a whole lot younger and had unlimited financial backing. So we are talking fantasy here as far as I'm concerned!

A proposed name for your eatery would be fun too.
 
First, it would be a very limited menu, breakfast, and the feature would be eggs cooked to order, but to my definition of that, meaning if someone orders scrambled eggs and then calls me over to complain that the eggs aren’t scrambled the way they think eggs should be scrambled, then their rear end and the sidewalk out front are going to become fast friends…and I’ll have a policy of collecting payment upfront, so I gets me money regardless - I’m not running a charity here!

Eggs cooked to order, plus a few varieties of omelettes (get over it, those who don’t think those are for breakfast, I’m cooking in the USA here!), the expected sides (fried potatoes/hash browns, the usual side meats, and four kinds of toast - white, wheat, rye, and sourdough), and one specialty item for that day…it may be steel-cut oats, it may be waffles or pancakes, whatever floats my boat that day.

Also, no substitutions at all, so don’t even ask!

Drinks would be coffee, but not the fancy stuff, just coffee, as well as tea, OJ, and mimosas.

No particular consideration for dietary restrictions - if something happens to be GF or lactose-free or vegetarian or vegan, that’s fine, more power to those folks, but I really just don’t want to have to roll all that into my menu planning. Sorry.

We’ll be open from 8AM-9:30AM, because that’s breakfast time. Deal with it or go elsewhere!

Customers will do well to remember that they’re there for me and at my leisure, not the other way round. There will be no socks with sandals or long-sleeved shirts with short pants. Animals, especially dogs, will be welcomed and treated better than their humans.

Anyone who uses their phone on speakerphone will be shown to our special seating area…out by the dumpster behind the restaurant. Anyone who tries to order from me while using their phone (in that dismissive “my phone call is more important than treating you with basic respect” manner) will find I’ve suddenly gone deaf and blind and they no longer exist in my world.

No loud talkers, so shut it!

My restaurant will be called “Friendly Tasty’s House of Eggs & Possibly One Other Thing,” and my tagline will be, “Come to Friendly Tasty’s…Where You’re the Boss!”

Well, you did say it was fantasy!
 
Morning Glory said:
If you started up a restaurant what type of food would you serve? Doesn't have to be a restaurant. Maybe a food truck, diner or a café.

There is nothing on earth would induce me start up a restaurant or any other eatery unless I was a whole lot younger and had unlimited financial backing. So we are talking fantasy here as far as I'm concerned!

A proposed name for your eatery would be fun too.
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I would have a weird menu. I would serve almost exclusively what I make now. I know the stuff I do now is great, and it's made to my tastes, and I have never had anyone say they don't love my cooking. So, if you came to my restaurant, it would be a weird menu, but anything you got would be amazing. I would rather do 20 things exceptionally well rather than do 50 things mediocre.
 
Beyond waitering in my college days, I know squat about the restaurant biz, other than a very high percentage of upstarts become failures in the first or second years. But, if we're just pretending, I'd go one of two ways; either an upscale (but not pretentious) French restaurant, serving a limited menu of classics that would rotate seasonally, or I'd have a food truck with a huge tow-behind pit, selling strictly smoked brisket, beans, and coleslaw. (Yes, I realize the incongruency. 🤣 )
smokers_Large_681482ca-295a-44c0-aa77-8145e00fdcf6.jpg
 
Gone Hiking said:
Beyond waitering in my college days, I know squat about the restaurant biz, other than a very high percentage of upstarts become failures in the first or second years. But, if we're just pretending, I'd go one of two ways; either an upscale (but not pretentious) French restaurant, serving a limited menu of classics that would rotate seasonally, or I'd have a food truck with a huge tow-behind pit, selling strictly smoked brisket, beans, and coleslaw. (Yes, I realize the incongruency. 🤣 )
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The "Bullet Smoker".
 
I'd call it "The Lunch Plate". The In door would unlock at 11:30 and lock at 1:00. The Out door would always be open. The menu would be whatever I felt like cooking that day, advertised outside. No subs, no specials, my plate. Regarding all the label discussion of late I'd post the food labels next to the plate description. Consume at Own Risk sign obviously posted. Would be a flat price for every day for every plate and it might come with a dessert. Beverages would be water, sweet tea, tea, beer, or a shot of whisky. Dogs welcome, a**ho*** evicted by Ozzie.
 
I would only serve the following, not particularly any cuisine, California melting pot cuisine, these dishes I can make easily, no special cooking techniques or talents required.

1) Grilled Balsamic Chicken, this is my special go to dish that I bring to all the potluck for my daughter’s piano recitals, my daughter said, the dish is always gone when she came back for seconds.

2)The second dish is oxtail dish in tomato sauce with star anise, carrots, the one I make regularly at home.

3) BBQ ribs, this recipe from a Napa Chef who is originally from Italy. Everybody I serve this dish enjoys it tremendously. Easy to do for me.

4) Cheese quesadillas with jalapeños, I also make this dish regularly.
 
SoCalZone10 said:
I would only serve the following, not particularly any cuisine, California melting pot cuisine, these dishes I can make easily, no special cooking techniques or talents required.

1) Grilled Balsamic Chicken, this is my special go to dish that I bring to all the potluck for my daughter’s piano recitals, my daughter said, the dish is always gone when she came back for seconds.

2)The second dish is oxtail dish in tomato sauce with star anise, carrots, the one I make regularly at home.

3) BBQ ribs, this recipe from a Napa Chef who is originally from Italy. Everybody I serve this dish enjoys it tremendously. Easy to do for me.

4) Cheese quesadillas with jalapeños, I also make this dish regularly.
Click to expand...

They all sound delicious to me. Your restaurant could be named 'The Four Dish Wonder'. I selling point could be a tasting menu featuring all four dishes in mini portions.
 
My restaurant would obviously be Indian ( and I don't know how many times people have said to me "why don't you open up an Indian restaurant?) but I'd be the executive chef, rather than the line cook.
My menu would be authentic Indian cuisine, so anyone asking for a prawn bhoona with a side of chips would be kicked out the door, or forced to eat a dozen naga jolokia chiles. No curries in my restaurant.
The menu would comprise no more than 20 dishes, including starters, mains, side dishes and desserts. I'd design the menu, cook all the dishes with my staff, guide them when they prepared the same dishes, and then just taste, taste, taste. The menu would change every 3 months, depending on which dishes were most popular, or least popular. Fresh ingredients, all dishes made from scratch, all pastes and spice mixtures made in house.
When the restaurant was full every night, with a queue outside, I'd sell it, and start up a new one.
 
I actually did have a restaurant for a while as part of a lodge.
When we started up, I would just have 2 or 3 dishes on offer, basically what I felt like eating :)

Now for my restaurant these days:
I'll have my place on the river, get a big braai going, a big pot of satay sauce and grill satay. Chicken, beef and pork.
That smell should attract people out on the water.
I'm only open over the weekend and on public holidays, so I get people that are not in a hurry.
Then a changing menu of the day, besides the satay.
 
I have to say a lot of these restaurants don’t sound like they’d be trading for long, they sound a bit angry and some slightly dangerous 😂

As it’s a fantasy - My restaurant would be be no walk in’s book ahead type affair.
All the food would be free.
People could order whatever they liked, I mean ANYTHING. So for example if they were craving shepherds pie like they had when they were a kid we’d make it. If they ate something on holiday and wanted it again, no problem we’d get the ingredients and recreate it.
All allergies would be catered for including amazing substitutes for foods they generally miss out on.

The only rule would be one of my mums favourites - If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all!
 
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