Kitchen Fails

SandwichShortOfAPicnic

SandwichShortOfAPicnic

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Made something that was a big fat flop?
Absentmindedly threw the wrong ingredient in or went off to do a quick task that turned into a long one and left your dish to boil dry?
Got halfway through a recipe and realised you forgot the main ingredient?
Had a series of little incidences that left you defeated?
Spent a lot of time and effort in producing a dish to realise you never want to make it again?
Or just plain messed up narrowly avoiding seriously injuring yourself and burning the house down?

A thread for the things that go wrong and the tears and laughter that comes from it - if not at the time then now when we take the mickey out of you 😂


My phone just threw up a pic of this from 5 years ago. Oh this thing felt like it took an eon to slash n stuff. I was so despondent and irritable by the time it finally made it into the oven I skulked off to do something else resulting in me over cooking it. It also turned out the expensive and fragrant herb mix I lovingly prepared was quite bland. And it would even give me crackling!

My prettiest waste of time and most expensive fail -

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This is one swine I’ll never forget 😂
 
I feel for you. This looks as if it ought to be good.

I recall one Christmas I ordered a cockerel. I'd once eaten cockerel in France and remembered it as partucularly tasty and succulent. It seemed a good choice, as male chicks are usually disposed of. It cost quite a lot of money from a specialist farm. Suffice it to say, that if you leave cockerels too long in the oven, they sort of shrink and go dark brown.

And then there was the other time when I thought, 'well, turkey is often dry. So, what if I inject it with ghee? That should work.'. I used a special culinary syringe bought specially for the purpose. Loads of ghee pumped into the bird! Yeah...well...
 
Morning Glory said:
I feel for you. This looks as if it ought to be good.

I recall one Christmas I ordered a cockerel. I'd once eaten cockerel in France and remembered it as partucularly tasty and succulent. It seemed a good choice, as male chicks are usually disposed of. It cost quite a lot of money from a specialist farm. Suffice it to say, that if you leave cockerels too long in the oven, they sort of shrink and go dark brown.

And then there was the other time when I thought, 'well, turkey is often dry. So, what if I inject it with ghee? That should work.'. I used a special culinary syringe bought specially for the purpose. Loads of ghee pumped into the bird! Yeah...well...
Click to expand...
I would have sworn the ghee thing was a good idea too!
 
Making some bread dough and realizing after it's all mixed up and kneaded that I forgot the yeast! I rolled it out and thin as I could get it and sprinkled yeast all over it then spritzed it with water and rolled it up. After I had it rolled up I started folding and kneading in opposite directions. It did rise and turned out okay but I'll never forget the yeast again when making bread.
 
Barriehie said:
Making some bread dough and realizing after it's all mixed up and kneaded that I forgot the yeast! I rolled it out and thin as I could get it and sprinkled yeast all over it then spritzed it with water and rolled it up. After I had it rolled up I started folding and kneading in opposite directions. It did rise and turned out okay but I'll never forget the yeast again when making bread.
Click to expand...
I forgot salt one time.
Very interesting exercise
The dough becomes almost impossible to handle. Very weak consistency
 
I forgot something in yeast dough once too. Been so long I don't remember what, but I do remember the kneading and kneading and kneading to mix it in.

I haven't had too many of this looks really good complicated/involved recipes that weren't worth the effort, either due to lack of flavor, simply being bad, or just too much effort and I'll get it at a restaurant, i.e. soup dumplings in particular, but I've had a few.
 
Morning Glory said:
And then there was the other time when I thought, 'well, turkey is often dry. So, what if I inject it with ghee? That should work.'. I used a special culinary syringe bought specially for the purpose. Loads of ghee pumped into the bird! Yeah...well...
Click to expand...
That sounds like a good idea to me as well. Did you overdo it and make the meat mush? I've seen that happen on BBQ shows.
 
SandwichShortOfAPicnic said:
Made something that was a big fat flop?
Absentmindedly threw the wrong ingredient in or went off to do a quick task that turned into a long one and left your dish to boil dry?
Got halfway through a recipe and realised you forgot the main ingredient?
Had a series of little incidences that left you defeated?
Spent a lot of time and effort in producing a dish to realise you never want to make it again?
Or just plain messed up narrowly avoiding seriously injuring yourself and burning the house down?

A thread for the things that go wrong and the tears and laughter that comes from it - if not at the time then now when we take the mickey out of you 😂


My phone just threw up a pic of this from 5 years ago. Oh this thing felt like it took an eon to slash n stuff. I was so despondent and irritable by the time it finally made it into the oven I skulked off to do something else resulting in me over cooking it. It also turned out the expensive and fragrant herb mix I lovingly prepared was quite bland. And it would even give me crackling!

My prettiest waste of time and most expensive fail -

View attachment 133905
View attachment 133906
View attachment 133907
View attachment 133908
This is one swine I’ll never forget 😂
Click to expand...

I'm generally hopeless with large roasts as so nowadays I won't leave something like that to chance and will go the sous vide route followed by a shallow fry for the final crisping. I prefer the resultant texture that way as well.
 
I fail fairly frequently. Yesterday I was trying to make some deli chicken breast by sous viding a bunch of chicken mini-fillets together. Left them in a couple of hours too long and they came out not quite as succulent as I'd had before. Still ok chopped with a bit of mayo for sandwiches but it was a little disappointing.

Still oversalt on occasion, just cavalier chucking random palm-fulls of salt into things without tasting thinking I'm some kind of celebrity chef, but thankfully that's getting fewer and farther between.
 
Most of my failures have to do with baking, specifically cakes. Cakes were invented to torment me. That’s their only purpose. Their deliciousness is simply to lure me into baking one on occasion, just so I can fail.

Other than that, probably dropping things come in second - I’ve dropped or mis-launched more than one pizza, I’ve dropped eggs, sandwiches, roasts, you name it, I’ve probably dropped one at some point.
 
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