What made you smile recently?

mjd

Veteran
Joined
4 Sep 2020
Local time
11:33 AM
Messages
2,936
Location
Chicago, IL - Midwest USA
y (4).jpg
 

Yorky

Uncomfortably numb
Joined
3 Oct 2016
Local time
11:33 PM
Messages
12,352
Location
Nakhorn Nowhere, N. E. Thailand.
Website
freebeerforyorky.com
THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY "THOMAS COOK VACATIONS" FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS:

1. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."

2. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."

3. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."

5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."

7. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."

8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."

9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."

10. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."

12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."

13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."

14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort.' We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."

15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

19. "My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

Source: Peter Dickinson
 

Lullabelle

Midlands, England
Joined
14 Oct 2012
Local time
5:33 PM
Messages
7,294
Location
Leicester UK
THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY "THOMAS COOK VACATIONS" FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS:

1. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."

2. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."

3. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."

5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."

7. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."

8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."

9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."

10. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."

12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."

13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."

14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort.' We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."

15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

19. "My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

Source: Peter Dickinson

I would like to think these were made up but sadly.....
 

Yorky

Uncomfortably numb
Joined
3 Oct 2016
Local time
11:33 PM
Messages
12,352
Location
Nakhorn Nowhere, N. E. Thailand.
Website
freebeerforyorky.com
After downloading that image from the net I realised that I'd never had miengkam krobros flavoured crisps before. My wife bought some this afternoon. I haven't tried them yet.


Sorry it was dark and I had to use flash - bag 1/3rd full.

65204

I reckon that they must be an acquired taste. But I'll not bother acquiring it.
 

Yorky

Uncomfortably numb
Joined
3 Oct 2016
Local time
11:33 PM
Messages
12,352
Location
Nakhorn Nowhere, N. E. Thailand.
Website
freebeerforyorky.com
My wife just spent the afternoon in her friend's furniture shop. A "hi-so" Thai woman with her English husband was in to buy cupboards. The woman knew that the owner could not speak English but she knew nothing about my wife. Many of the conflicting discussions between man and wife were quite amusing (to my wife). When my wife finally disclosed that she understood what they were talking about, the wife took the huff and dragged the husband away.
 

mjd

Veteran
Joined
4 Sep 2020
Local time
11:33 AM
Messages
2,936
Location
Chicago, IL - Midwest USA
THESE ARE ACTUAL COMPLAINTS RECEIVED BY "THOMAS COOK VACATIONS" FROM DISSATISFIED CUSTOMERS:

1. "They should not allow topless sunbathing on the beach. It was very distracting for my husband who just wanted to relax."

2. "On my holiday to Goa in India, I was disgusted to find that almost every restaurant served curry. I don't like spicy food."

3. "We went on holiday to Spain and had a problem with the taxi drivers as they were all Spanish."

4. "We booked an excursion to a water park but no-one told us we had to bring our own swimsuits and towels. We assumed it would be included in the price."

5. "The beach was too sandy. We had to clean everything when we returned to our room."

6. "We found the sand was not like the sand in the brochure. Your brochure shows the sand as white but it was more yellow."

7. "It's lazy of the local shopkeepers in Puerto Vallartato close in the afternoons. I often needed to buy things during 'siesta' time -- this should be banned."

8. "No-one told us there would be fish in the water. The children were scared."

9. "Although the brochure said that there was a fully equipped kitchen, there was no egg-slicer in the drawers."

10. "I think it should be explained in the brochure that the local convenience store does not sell proper biscuits like custard creams or ginger nuts."

11. "The roads were uneven and bumpy, so we could not read the local guide book during the bus ride to the resort. Because of this, we were unaware of many things that would have made our holiday more fun."

12. "It took us nine hours to fly home from Jamaica to England. It took the Americans only three hours to get home. This seems unfair."

13. "I compared the size of our one-bedroom suite to our friends' three-bedroom and ours was significantly smaller."

14. "The brochure stated: 'No hairdressers at the resort.' We're trainee hairdressers and we think they knew and made us wait longer for service."

15. "When we were in Spain, there were too many Spanish people there. The receptionist spoke Spanish, the food was Spanish. No one told us that there would be so many foreigners."

16. "We had to line up outside to catch the boat and there was no air-conditioning."

17. "It is your duty as a tour operator to advise us of noisy or unruly guests before we travel."

18. "I was bitten by a mosquito. The brochure did not mention mosquitoes."

19. "My fiancée and I requested twin-beds when we booked, but instead we were placed in a room with a king bed. We now hold you responsible and want to be re-reimbursed for the fact that I became pregnant. This would not have happened if you had put us in the room that we booked."

Source: Peter Dickinson
I refuse to believe those are true. What in the world? Wow!
 

mjd

Veteran
Joined
4 Sep 2020
Local time
11:33 AM
Messages
2,936
Location
Chicago, IL - Midwest USA
Kids On Love

What Is The Proper Age To Get Married?

"Eighty-four! Because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom."
-Judy, age 8

"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife!" -Tom, age 5

What Do Most People Do On A Date?

"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." -Mike, age 10

When Is It Okay To Kiss Someone?

"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." -Jim, age 10

"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." -Kally, age 9

The Great Debate: Is It Better To Be Single Or Married?

"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them!" -Lynette, age 9

"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." -Kenny, age 7

Concerning Why Love Happens Between Two Particular People

"No one is sure why it happens , but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." -Jan, age 9

"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." -Harlen, age 8

"One of the people has freckles and so he finds somebody else who has freckles too." -Andrew, age 6
 
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