Retirement plans

[Morning Glory]

That is the thing, I have thought about all the things we could do but it will still be full days to fill. Winter will be the worst time because we wouldn't be able to do any gardening which is a thing for me. Hobbies would have to feature quite large, maybe a part time job to keep ticking over.

The art of doing nothing... I'm rather good at that. I can fritter away hours contemplating possible recipes which I never get round to making, or imagining the garden stocked to abundance with flowers and produce. I can even fantasise about knitting intricate patterned jumpers. In reality, I'm lucky if I achieve one thing a day. Today it was painting my nails orange and that was exhausting enough .

 

[PabloLerntKochen]

There's nothing bad with doing nothing. Our western world view is so distorted, that many people, me included, can't do nothing anymore and that's a bad sign.

 

[The Late Night Gourmet]

The art of doing nothing... I'm rather good at that. I can fritter away hours contemplating possible recipes which I never get round to making, or imagining the garden stocked to abundance with flowers and produce. I can even fantasise about knitting intricate patterned jumpers. In reality, I'm lucky if I achieve one thing a day. Today it was painting my nails orange and that was exhausting enough .

This, truly, is a superpower. I would love to be there one day, but there are too many people in my house who need me (or, rather, rely on me). I do try showing people how to do things, and it doesn't always work. I'm partly an enabler because it's just easier sometimes to do it myself.

Having said that, here are two fun spins on the famous quote:

 

[Morning Glory]

This, truly, is a superpower. I would love to be there one day, but there are too many people in my house who need me (or, rather, rely on me). I do try showing people how to do things, and it doesn't always work. I'm partly an enabler because it's just easier sometimes to do it myself.

I'm a full time carer for my partner who has dementia so I understand the stress and need to do things. I do almost everything here but I'm a past master at simplification, so I find time to meditate (in my case, AKA as being lazy). Its funny but a carer who was coming in once a week for a few hours said to me 'you are always so calm'. I don't think of myself that way but she obviously saw that.

 

[JAS_OH1]

This, truly, is a superpower. I would love to be there one day, but there are too many people in my house who need me (or, rather, rely on me). I do try showing people how to do things, and it doesn't always work. I'm partly an enabler because it's just easier sometimes to do it myself.

Having said that, here are two fun spins on the famous quote:

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I was laughing at the jokes but sad about your post.

I totally get what you are saying about people needing you and it being easier to do things yourself. One of my sisters retired from the Department of State 2 years ago when she was 65. After living abroad for many years, she moved into her house in Austin, TX that she had been renting out and her 35 year old son moved in with her. He pays no rent or bills and won't mow the grass, take out the trash, or do anything to help out around the house. She hired yard people and cleans/takes out trash because nagging is futile and only stresses her out. Her husband left her a few years before she retired (for a younger woman) and collects 1/3rd of her pension. She thought having my nephew around would be a comfort but instead its draining her mentally and emotionally. But, she won't kick him out, so...

 

[TastyReuben]

I can also sit and do “nothing” - my brain seems to go 24/7, so I’m always thinking about things.

I put watching TV in the category of “doing nothing,” and I can watch old movies from morning ‘til night for days in a row, or I can make something fun (usually pizza or bread), or go and sit in a bar for hours and hours and drink, eat, read or write this or that.

The week MrsT was in Alaska was a whole week of “doing nothing,” in my off-hours, anyway.

 

[rascal]

I'm a full time carer for my partner who has dementia so I understand the stress and need to do things. I do almost everything here but I'm a past master at simplification, so I find time to meditate (in my case, AKA as being lazy). Its funny but a carer who was coming in once a week for a few hours said to me 'you are always so calm'. I don't think of myself that way but she obviously saw that.

Exactly how I envisage you. I would add caring and patient.

Russ

 

[rascal]

I was laughing at the jokes but sad about your post.

I totally get what you are saying about people needing you and it being easier to do things yourself. One of my sisters retired from the Department of State 2 years ago when she was 65. After living abroad for many years, she moved into her house in Austin, TX that she had been renting out and her 35 year old son moved in with her. He pays no rent or bills and won't mow the grass, take out the trash, or do anything to help out around the house. She hired yard people and cleans/takes out trash because nagging is futile and only stresses her out. Her husband left her a few years before she retired (for a younger woman) and collects 1/3rd of her pension. She thought having my nephew around would be a comfort but instead its draining her mentally and emotionally. But, she won't kick him out, so...

I have no time for bludgers, he would be gooooorne in my house. I will help anyone who needs help, but I won't enable them.
I've never been out of work from 14 to 65 ever. My kids have my work ethic and practice the same. My granddaughter gets up at 6 am school days and has the same.
You need to talk to her.

Russ

 

[rascal]

I can also sit and do “nothing” - my brain seems to go 24/7, so I’m always thinking about things.

I put watching TV in the category of “doing nothing,” and I can watch old movies from morning ‘til night for days in a row, or I can make something fun (usually pizza or bread), or go and sit in a bar for hours and hours and drink, eat, read or write this or that.

The week MrsT was in Alaska was a whole week of “doing nothing,” in my off-hours, anyway.

That's my world since I retired. Wifes alarm still goes off at 7am. Sometimes I doze off for an hr. Then I'm showered and downstairs with cnn and fox in the background. Interspersing with the odd horse race. My friends horse is racing at 2.30 this arvo. 10 mins from me. I may go over and watch. Weekend here tomorrow so wee kids sport, rugby and netball.
I enjoy my weekends.

Russ

 

[JAS_OH1]

I have no time for bludgers, he would be gooooorne in my house. I will help anyone who needs help, but I won't enable them.
I've never been out of work from 14 to 65 ever. My kids have my work ethic and practice the same. My granddaughter gets up at 6 am school days and has the same.
You need to talk to her.

Russ

Believe me, I've tried. I'm like you. He wouldn't have lasted 2 weeks in my house, much less 2 years. But while she was living in other countries she paid his rent and paid his college tuition. He changed his major 4 times and took just enough classes to slowly get by to milk her for all he could. He was going for nursing, switched to anaesthiology, then occupational therapy, and finally graduated as a respiratory therapist -- but he never took the state board exams and works as a bartender. He spends his money on girls and booze.

 

[rascal]

Believe me, I've tried. I'm like you. He wouldn't have lasted 2 weeks in my house, much less 2 years. But while she was living in other countries she paid his rent and paid his college tuition. He changed his major 4 times and took just enough classes to slowly get by to milk her for all he could. He was going for nursing, switched to anaesthiology, then occupational therapy, and finally graduated as a respiratory therapist -- but he never took the state board exams and works as a bartender. He spends his money on girls and booze.

Kids huh? I know what you mean. Our good friends wayne and cheryl have both been married before.
Cheryl has twin girls. They are in their 40s and still sponge off her. And actually 1 is really cruel. Imo.
Wayne has a son in his 30s from first marriage. Hes on the unemployment benefit here. About 300? A week?
Wayne who's 70 still works and takes his son out for a meal once a week. And gives him 250 a week for spending money. Wtf? Cheryl says its his money.
Not what I would do.

Russ

 

[JAS_OH1]

Kids huh? I know what you mean. Our good friends wayne and cheryl have both been married before.
Cheryl has twin girls. They are in their 40s and still sponge off her. And actually 1 is really cruel. Imo.
Wayne has a son in his 30s from first marriage. Hes on the unemployment benefit here. About 300? A week?
Wayne who's 70 still works and takes his son out for a meal once a week. And gives him 250 a week for spending money. Wtf? Cheryl says its his money.
Not what I would do.

Russ

I'm with you on that. Even our son who is developmentally challenged (from having a brain tumor at 16) and lives in a wing of our house has a job and pays rent. We don't give him a dime. His rent is cheap, though. His car insurance, rent and utilities are all included so he doesn't have to deal with it, I'm not sure he could handle it. He never misses a payment to his dad, always on time. His sisters will have to handle it when we are gone. They will make sure he's taken care of.

 

[rascal]

I'm with you on that. Even our son who is developmentally challenged (from having a brain tumor at 16) and lives in a wing of our house has a job and pays rent. We don't give him a dime. His rent is cheap, though. His car insurance, rent and utilities are all included so he doesn't have to deal with it, I'm not sure he could handle it. He never misses a payment to his dad, always on time. His sisters will have to handle it when we are gone. They will make sure he's taken care of.

Thanks for sharing that. I never knew that.
His name please?
It's good you instill those values.

Russ

 

[JAS_OH1]

Thanks for sharing that. I never knew that.
His name please?
It's good you instill those values.

Russ

His name is Brian after his dad.

Now look Russ, we got totally lucky. He could have gotten in with a bad crowd at school and started doing drugs and lost his moral compass but he didn't. If that had happened there'd be no way to reason with him and save him. I don't know if you've seen TLNG's posts in the caregivers thread, but his daughter had that happen to her. She's got mental health issues and used drugs, so his whole family suffers as a result. That could have been us.

My nephew has no excuse for mooching off my sister.

 

[rascal]

His name is Brian after his dad.

Now look Russ, we got totally lucky. He could have gotten in with a bad crowd at school and started doing drugs and lost his moral compass but he didn't. If that had happened there'd be no way to reason with him and save him. I don't know if you've seen TLNG's posts in the caregivers thread, but his daughter had that happen to her. She's got mental health issues and used drugs, so his whole family suffers as a result. That could have been us.

My nephew has no excuse for mooching off my sister.

I used money for incentive for my kids.
When they were about 15? I said to them, I'll give you $5k when you reach 20 if you dont try or touch drugs until then. I think it was $5 k? 30 years ago approx. They both were drug free at 20 and never asked for the $5k. They knew by the time and understood my offer. They don't do drugs even now. Daughter is a teacher. Son a NZ wide company the sales manager .
Doing stuff like I kinda did.

Russ