Are you ready....

morning glory said:
I wish I hadn't ever had kids and when I say that its something which shocks a lot of people. The reasons are many but in my case, perhaps sadly, the problems have outweighed any benefits. Last August the youngest two eventually moved out and this is the first time I've lived without my kids in the house for 40 years! No, I'm not lonely. Its a relief.
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My dad always said if he had his time again he wouldn't change anything. I now work with 3 mums who complain about how hard it is being parent so everyone is different.
 
Trouble is, we are constantly bombarded with adverts telling us we should spend a lot of money on presents to prove how much we care about other people, we should lay out a perfectly cooked feast and we should be with lots of family and friends. As a result, people get into debt, get stressed, families fall out and/or apart due to the pressure of having a 'great Christmas' . Not much fun for a lot of people.

I enjoy buying presents for others but we are sensible, dad is with us tomorrow and we are up north with my husbands family on 27th, we also like to have time to ourselves to decompress and do what we want to do and when we want to do it. That for us is important, like most people our lives are busy and at times stressful so having time off at the end of the year should be about relaxing.
 
Lullabelle said:
We don't have kids through choice, we like the freedom to travel and do our own thing, it isn't being selfish and I certainly don't regret not having any.
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@Lullabelle
This is exactly how I have always felt. Still, over the years, I was told incessantly by neighbors, friends, and relatives, whenever the subject arose, that I would someday regret having no children. Now, I look at how the adult children treat and shun their folks in many cases, and smile to myself.....
 
impish said:
@Lullabelle
This is exactly how I have always felt. Still, over the years, I was told incessantly by neighbors, friends, and relatives, whenever the subject arose, that I would someday regret having no children. Now, I look at how the adult children treat and shun their folks in many cases, and smile to myself.....
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The 1 question I have been asked a few times is ' who will look after you when you are old?' That is not a good reason to have kids :headshake:
 
Lullabelle said:
The 1 question I have been asked a few times is ' who will look after you when you are old?' That is not a good reason to have kids :headshake:
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@Lullabelle
In the majority of cases of my experience, it surely is not the kids looking after their folks! Right now, my wife's kid-sister is
caring for their Mom, who will be 93 next month, in Indiana. We are 2000 miles away. Her interest in continuing this is wearing rather thin.
 
impish said:
@Lullabelle
In the majority of cases of my experience, it surely is not the kids looking after their folks! Right now, my wife's kid-sister is
caring for their Mom, who will be 93 next month, in Indiana. We are 2000 miles away. Her interest in continuing this is wearing rather thin.
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My folks chose to move 20 miles away/about half and hours drive away, nice place but dad is now alone since mum passed and I think we all wish he was closer.
 
Lullabelle said:
My folks chose to move 20 miles away/about half and hours drive away, nice place but dad is now alone since mum passed and I think we all wish he was closer.
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@Lullabelle
Understood! Here in the U.S. Desert Southwest, 20 miles is usually thought of as "spittin" distance. It is possible to drive 100 miles and not see another human being. Distances to and fro are vast, in a word, and folks unaccustomed to that fact occasionally succumb to natural causes as a result of finding themselves far-removed while experiencing car-trouble or sight-seeing off the "beaten path".
 
My dad lived about 1100 miles away from me with my stepmom. When she was in a really bad accident, I had to go and stay with him for several months, coming home once for 2 weeks, because he had early stages of dementa. Fortunately, I was in a position to do this since I work over the internet. My mother, with whom I didn't have a very good relationship for multiple reasons, lived 1300 miles away. I had to go stay with her for about a week after she was diagnosed with extremely advanced metastatic pancreatic cancer as her sister was out of town. She stayed in her assisted living apartment for a couple of weeks after I left, then went downhill so fast that she had to go into a nursing home, only lasted a couple of weeks after that. I feel bad that my aunt got dumped on, but given how my mother treated me and Craig, she's lucky I even went.

But, we're ready for Christmas with our girls, which we will do next weekend. All the presents are bought, cards with money fir the DGD's are ready, and we have the food to take over bought. I made doggie Christmas cookies tonight for our pugs, a neighbor 's dog and the DGD'S dogs.
 
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I under stand we all have choices, none of my kids were planned but I was in love and we moved in and started raising a family. I was bought up with nothing. My father left home when I was 3 never to be seen. Ever again. My mother took no interest in my sport or school. I was very good at athletics and rugby league. I said to myself my kids would never go through what I did. My kids had great childhoods. I was heavily involved with their sports and schools. I was normally the chairman or president of these clubs. I like to be in charge,lol. Now my son is chairman of his school pta now. My kids are all good people that give back to their community. I think we have done good jobs, considering our ages when we started. Now we enjoy our grandkids. I wouldn't change a thing. But that's me, I understand others views.

Russ
 
rascal said:
I under stand we all have choices, none of my kids were planned but I was in love and we moved in and started raising a family. I was bought up with nothing. My father left home when I was 3 never to be seen. Ever again. My mother took no interest in my sport or school. I was very good at athletics and rugby league. I said to myself my kids would never go through what I did. My kids had great childhoods. I was heavily involved with their sports and schools. I was normally the chairman or president of these clubs. I like to be in charge,lol. Now my son is chairman of his school pta now. My kids are all good people that give back to their community. I think we have done good jobs, considering our ages when we started. Now we enjoy our grandkids. I wouldn't change a thing. But that's me, I understand others views.

Russ
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As long as you are all happy that is all that matters.

I have a lot of respect for parents, it is not an easy job, 24/7 , not something I could do to be fair.
 
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