My MIL (who lives about 6 miles away from us) was diagnosed with liver cancer last year. She is 80 and has a myriad of other health issues so chemo and radiation are out of the question (plus she has NASH that turned into cirrhosis so her liver barely functions). The doctors said her only option is a liver transplant, and that's not going to happen. Last July they went in and removed and ablated the tumors on her liver. The tumors haven't come back but she's not doing well. DH's stepdad has been caring for her best he can.
MIL is a tiny woman, 5'4" and used to weigh about 120 but now is about 95 pounds so he is doing okay with helping her walk and bathe without falling, but he isn't in the greatest health. He had triple bypass surgery in December over the Christmas holiday, and now he has arthritis in both shoulders that is bone-on-bone, so he is scheduled for a shoulder replacement on one shoulder March 13. He is also 80. As of now, he is having a hard time just getting his shirt or jacket on each day. Well, they aren't going to schedule the other shoulder surgery until he fully recovers from the first one. He seems to think he will be up and driving around in a week and can schedule the second surgery by the end of March. I was talking to a nurse friend of mine who said it's going to be more like 2 months (if he's lucky) at his age.
So I have offered to be meals on wheels for after FIL's surgery and will be happy to run errands such as picking up groceries, prescriptions, and also can do some light housekeeping for them. They are both trying to keep their independence and think for some reason that it won't be necessary but I already know better so I am not taking much in the way of work for the next 6 weeks so I can be at their beck and call. M nurse friend said that we might want to see if we can get some home healthcare to come in as well, because basic hygiene tasks are going to be difficult for them on their own, and DH and I are not up for the task of assisting with this. I mean, we would if we absolutely had to, but they are not destitute by any means and an easily afford to hire someone to do these kinds of things.
At any rate, DH is not handling this very well. I get it, I lost both of my parents (my mother in 2015 and my father in 1992) and I know it hurts (I was fortunately to have parents who were really great people), but my parents both went quickly when they got sick and it wasn't this long drawn out painful decline. I hate that my MIL hurts everyday. I hate that she is less mobile and so frail and has a hard time eating. DH lost his dad to pancreatic and liver cancer in 2007 and he didn't do well with that, as again, it was also a slow decline and was really hard to watch.
I don't think MIL is going to make it to Christmas and I am not convinced she really wants to. FIL lost his first wife to cancer in the early 2000s and now he is going through it all over again.