Cooking a dying art?

[Saranak]

Ciao a tutti,
This might be controversial.

I saw a disturbing programme last night on TV, it was made last year. It says that the numbers of young Italian women and girls are not being taught to cook by mama any longer because many are just disinterested or prefer a career. An interview with a lady of 25 said she never cooked and did not want to even for her family!
When I was young a girl had to learn how if she wanted a good husband. This may sound not political correct but then Italian men had three function work, eat, and make more Italians.
I am all for equality but, when a woman starts a family surely the children must come first? When I married Ray I Understood that from then my domain was my kitchen, when I had my babies my family always came first and still do. I may be old fashioned but I believe that cooking is the heart of the family I have huge pleasure watching my husband and children eat the food I make. and now grand children also.
It may be a generation thing but I could never dream of letting my husband make his own food after work.
So, my question is do the members think cooking is dying? Is this trend also in other places?

Sarana x

 

[TastyReuben]

I don't think it's dying at all. Look at where you are right now...online, on a forum full of people who love cooking!

And we're not the only cooking site available. There are others. Look at all the TV programs and cooking instruction shows, competition shows, etc. Cooking is popular!

Is it different than it was 100 years ago? Yes. But what hasn't changed in 100 years, or even 50, or 25? Meals used to be 100% homemade, then convenience foods came along and changed things a bit. The home refrigerator...that changed things. People moving from rural areas to the cities to work during the industrial revolution, that changed how we interacted with food.

Nowadays, maybe it's meal delivery services that look different. Maybe it's all the media surrounding alternate foods, like plant-based foods, who knows? But at the end of the day, people still largely share a meal together, maybe not always, but frequently. Maybe that meal was prepped by a delivery service, maybe it was just takeout pizza, or maybe it was cooked from scratch.

Now, about the other, the role of men to eat, work, and make babies and women to cook and raise the kids. If that's what you want to do, that's great. And if that's what your husband wants for his life, that's great, too. It's wonderful you found each other. As my mom says, "A lid for every pot."

However, that doesn't fit everyone. It certainly doesn't fit me or my wife. I love to cook, my wife doesn't. Should we have individually suppressed our natural inclinations just to fit into pre-determined roles? Or is it better that we were each able to embrace our own personalities and be ourselves and still manage to find each other and complement each other?

I don't think it matters if men are working, or women are working, if women are cooking or the family is being fed food that's partially prepped by a delivery service, as long as those things are being handled by someone, and the family is safe, happy, and provided for.

We don't even have kids, on purpose even. Neither my wife nor I ever wanted to be parents, and over the years, we took measures to make sure that didn't happen. Here I am, doing the cooking, and not making babies, though I do work. That's what works for us.

I'm a big believer in choice, that people should be able to choose for themselves what kind of life they want. If that's cooking, great. If that's raising a family, great. If that's eating takeout every day as a single person, that's great, too.

 

[Saranak]

I don't think it's dying at all. Look at where you are right now...online, on a forum full of people who love cooking!

And we're not the only cooking site available. There are others. Look at all the TV programs and cooking instruction shows, competition shows, etc. Cooking is popular!

Is it different than it was 100 years ago? Yes. But what hasn't changed in 100 years, or even 50, or 25? Meals used to be 100% homemade, then convenience foods came along and changed things a bit. The home refrigerator...that changed things. People moving from rural areas to the cities to work during the industrial revolution, that changed how we interacted with food.

Nowadays, maybe it's meal delivery services that look different. Maybe it's all the media surrounding alternate foods, like plant-based foods, who knows? But at the end of the day, people still largely share a meal together, maybe not always, but frequently. Maybe that meal was prepped by a delivery service, maybe it was just takeout pizza, or maybe it was cooked from scratch.

Now, about the other, the role of men to eat, work, and make babies and women to cook and raise the kids. If that's what you want to do, that's great. And if that's what your husband wants for his life, that's great, too. It's wonderful you found each other. As my mom says, "A lid for every pot."

However, that doesn't fit everyone. It certainly doesn't fit me or my wife. I love to cook, my wife doesn't. Should we have individually suppressed our natural inclinations just to fit into pre-determined roles? Or is it better that we were each able to embrace our own personalities and be ourselves and still manage to find each other and complement each other?

I don't think it matters if men are working, or women are working, if women are cooking or the family is being fed food that's partially prepped by a delivery service, as long as those things are being handled by someone, and the family is safe, happy, and provided for.

We don't even have kids, on purpose even. Neither my wife nor I ever wanted to be parents, and over the years, we took measures to make sure that didn't happen. Here I am, doing the cooking, and not making babies, though I do work. That's what works for us.

I'm a big believer in choice, that people should be able to choose for themselves what kind of life they want. If that's cooking, great. If that's raising a family, great. If that's eating takeout every day as a single person, that's great, too.

I did no mean that women be chained to the stove and men never go in a kitchen. May be I am dinosaur .
Sarana x

 

[TastyReuben]

I did no mean that women be chained to the stove and men never go in a kitchen. May be I am dinosaur .
Sarana x

No, I think it's fine and it's beautiful the way you care for your family. You're not a dinosaur!

My point was just that I think everyone should be free to find what works for them. I think of my nieces and nephews, their lives all look different. Some have house-husbands (if you're familiar with that phrase), some have traditional stay-at-home-mom arrangements, some have kids and aren't married, some are single, some cook, some don't, they're all over the place that way, and I'm just pleased that they're all mostly healthy and happy and contributing positively to society.

Also, I do want to make sure you understand that you did not offend me in any way. I like it when people are happy, and it's easy to see that you're happy in your life, so that's good!

 

[Saranak]

No, I think it's fine and it's beautiful the way you care for your family. You're not a dinosaur!

My point was just that I think everyone should be free to find what works for them. I think of my nieces and nephews, their lives all look different. Some have house-husbands (if you're familiar with that phrase), some have traditional stay-at-home-mom arrangements, some have kids and aren't married, some are single, some cook, some don't, they're all over the place that way, and I'm just pleased that they're all mostly healthy and happy and contributing positively to society.

Also, I do want to make sure you understand that you did not offend me in any way. I like it when people are happy, and it's easy to see that you're happy in your life, so that's good!

Thank you Reuben.

Sarana x

 

[Morning Glory]

It may be a generation thing but I could never dream of letting my husband make his own food after work.

I worked full-time all my adult life. In fact, I was the main 'breadwinner' for the latter part of that time. I had 4 kids. I cooked for most of that time. I'm actually a deal older than you, Saranak so this isn't particularly do with generations. My partner has also always cooked (until recently, due to health issues). We used to take it in turns to cook every evening for the family.

Many couples simply can't afford for one of them to stay home to look after the kids. Maybe that has meant that many couples turn to easy to make or ready-made solutions because they would rather spend their spare time doing something other than cooking. Lets face it, in the UK the aisles of supermarkets are lined with 'ready meals' of every description. Some people simply don't enjoy cooking. I know plenty of women of a generation before me who certainly didn't enjoy it.

 

[Saranak]

I worked full-time all my adult life. In fact, I was the main 'breadwinner' for the latter part of that time. I had 4 kids. I cooked for most of that time. I'm actually a deal older than you, Saranak so this isn't particularly do with generations. My partner has also always cooked (until recently, due to health issues). We used to take it in turns to cook every evening for the family.

Many couples simply can't afford for one of them to stay home to look after the kids. Maybe that has meant that many couples turn to easy to make or ready-made solutions because they would rather spend their spare time doing something other than cooking. Lets face it, in the UK the aisles of supermarkets are lined with 'ready meals' of every description. Some people simply don't enjoy cooking. I know plenty of women of a generation before me who certainly didn't enjoy it.

You are right, I may forget how fortunate I have been. I have never had to go through stress of modern life trying to do family and working it must be hard.
Sarana x

 

[TastyReuben]

I know plenty of women of a generation before me who certainly didn't enjoy it.

That's a great point. I think of my grandmothers, both women born in the 1910's decade.

My mom's mom, she was Mennonite. She never worked a day outside of the home once she married and had kids (three). She cooked every single meal they ate. They did not ever, not once, go to a restaurant.

The reason for that was, my uncle was born severely disabled, and from the point of his birth, and for the next 56 years until he died, she didn't leave the house. Not once. Her world ended at the mailbox at the end of their drive. Let that sink in.

My dad's mom, born in rural Kentucky, moved to Ohio after having three of her four kids, in her way, she was a trendsetter. Frankly, I don't think she ever wanted to be a mom, but at that time, didn't see any way out of it.

After her third kid was born and raised up to 13 years or so, so sometime in the early 1950's, she went out and got a job and earned her own money. From that point on, she always worked full-time. It wasn't glamorous work, but she worked for a university, earned a good pension on her own, and always had her own money separate from my grandad's.

She didn't cook much at all. She'd buy pre-formed burgers and maybe fry one of those every so often. She'd maybe scramble an egg now and again, but they all survived on restaurant food. They went out to eat all the time. Nothing fancy, but she had zero interest in cooking.

Guess who's house I loved to go to as a kid? The second one! Why? Because she didn't cook, they had all kinds of junk food (like potato chips/crisps) that we didn't have at home. Going to my mom's mom was just like eating at home, so as a kid, I wanted the stuff I couldn't have.

 

[Saranak]

That's a great point. I think of my grandmothers, both women born in the 1910's decade.

My mom's mom, she was Mennonite. She never worked a day outside of the home once she married and had kids (three). She cooked every single meal they ate. They did not ever, not once, go to a restaurant.

The reason for that was, my uncle was born severely disabled, and from the point of his birth, and for the next 56 years until he died, she didn't leave the house. Not once. Her world ended at the mailbox at the end of their drive. Let that sink in.

My dad's mom, born in rural Kentucky, moved to Ohio after having three of her four kids, in her way, she was a trendsetter. Frankly, I don't think she ever wanted to be a mom, but at that time, didn't see any way out of it.

After her third kid was born and raised up to 13 years or so, so sometime in the early 1950's, she went out and got a job and earned her own money. From that point on, she always worked full-time. It wasn't glamorous work, but she worked for a university, earned a good pension on her own, and always had her own money separate from my grandad's.

She didn't cook much at all. She'd buy pre-formed burgers and maybe fry one of those every so often. She'd maybe scramble an egg now and again, but they all survived on restaurant food. They went out to eat all the time. Nothing fancy, but she had zero interest in cooking.

Guess who's house I loved to go to as a kid? The second one! Why? Because she didn't cook, they had all kinds of junk food (like potato chips/crisps) that we didn't have at home. Going to my mom's mom was just like eating at home, so as a kid, I wanted the stuff I couldn't have.

The reason for that was, my uncle was born severely disabled, and from the point of his birth, and for the next 56 years until he died, she didn't leave the house. Not once. Her world ended at the mailbox at the end of their drive. Let that sink in. Mio Dio that awful, maybe I should think of how lucky I have it.

Sarana x

 

[CraigC]

The art isn't dying, though the interest from younger folks probably is. If you belong to multiple cooking forums, how many under 20 to 30 year old members participate? I think culture has a lot to do with it. Many Latin cultures have multiple generations living under the same roof. I first experienced this with Cuban friends. There is also respect for older folks in these household.

 

[Morning Glory]

. If you belong to multiple cooking forums, how many under 20 to 30 year old members participate?

I'm pretty certain that has more to do with the decline of 'message boards' and forums like this. Its seen as old school. That is why we struggle with membership here. There are Facebook food groups with hundreds of younger members. I personally dislike FB groups because the format doesn't encourage any 'in depth' discussion.

 

[CraigC]

I don't do Facebook. It seems to be a "Hey, look at me" place/site. Look how many folks lay it all out, with no clue of possible future repercussions.

 

[rascal]

I've always loved cooking, my daughter is a very good baker and a good cook. My son is useless,lol, he says he doesn't need to know how to cook, he's got me,lol. His wife is a very good cook as well so he won't starve. Granddaughter miss10 spends time with me when she stays here. I know she will be a good cook, she cooks her mum n dad and her siblings brekky on a Saturday.
I'm not worried!!

Russ

 

[TastyReuben]

If I go through my extended family:

Nephew, 23 or so, works, eats out a lot, but also cooks from meal delivery places.
Two nieces, sisters, late and mid 30's, each married, each two kids, they don't cook much. Their mom is an excellent cook.
Niece, early 30's, married, newborn, all vegan, they both cook, mainly from meal delivery services.
Nephew, mid 30's, married, no kids, works part-time, wife works full-time, neither cook and live on restaurant food.
Nephew, 40, single, he's detained at the pleasure of the government, so his meals are all decided for him and prepared for him.
Nephew, 20, single, lives on junk food.

There's some hope in there, and I also know people like my hair stylist, she's 25, graduate of culinary school, and though she's no longer in the industry, she still cooks and bakes like crazy.

 

[rascal]

If I go through my extended family:

Nephew, 23 or so, works, eats out a lot, but also cooks from meal delivery places.
Two nieces, sisters, late and mid 30's, each married, each two kids, they don't cook much. Their mom is an excellent cook.
Niece, early 30's, married, newborn, all vegan, they both cook, mainly from meal delivery services.
Nephew, mid 30's, married, no kids, works part-time, wife works full-time, neither cook and live on restaurant food.
Nephew, 40, single, he's detained at the pleasure of the government, so his meals are all decided for him and prepared for him.
Nephew, 20, single, lives on junk food.

There's some hope in there, and I also know people like my hair stylist, she's 25, graduate of culinary school, and though she's no longer in the industry, she still cooks and bakes like crazy.

Detained by government, lol, feel sorry for some of these people, some I couldn't care less. I couldn't stand being locked up, I guess that's why I'm honest.
Last week I took my car to garage for a minor repair I couldn't do. Got talking to woman in reception about stuff in general, we got onto the subject of food somehow, I asked her what she liked cooking? She replied Indian is her fave, she said her and her daughter both cook Indian. Based on the lady I was talking to, she was about 45 so her daughter must have around 15 to 25?
She said they fight over the kitchen. Lmao. I told her how I perfected my butter chicken which is her fave, she gave me her e mail and I posted it to her that day.
I think most people in New Zealand love cooking, although takeaways around 1 to 2 a week in most house holds.

Russ