Kitchen Injuries

Gone Hiking

Gone Hiking

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I set out tonight simply to make Julia Child's Duck A L'Orange. As I was doing some prep work, I bumped my chef's knife off the counter and barely managed to swing my foot out of the way before it became impaled. I should have stopped right there and ordered a pizza, because just a few minutes later while cutting off a wing, I sent my razor sharp Wusthof across the top of my finger. Blood went everywhere and it took me 10 minutes to get it to stop. ...Well, to leak a little less, at least, thanks to my kid breaking out the first aid kit while I kept direct pressure. (It was deeper than I'd prefer and we'll leave it at that.)

So, I resumed cooking and the first time I opened the over door to check on the duck, the sliding oven shelf apparently wasn't in correctly and flipped up, launching the 450* roasting pan towards my shins, which I thankfully caught with my bare, good hand. More thankfully, I had a hot pad laying out and was able to grab it quickly with my bleeding hand, which made holding the roasting pan much more comfortable until I could grab another with my burned hand to lift it onto the stovetop. I made some choice remarks and yelled for my wife to open the back door since I had to get the loose shelf outside immediately.

As I was running with the hot oven shelf in my bloody hand, because I'd just burned the other, Mrs. GH darted for the door (bless her), but tripped over a chair and and face planted into the threshold. Meanwhile, the potted plant she'd had in her hand went up in the air and smashed all over the floor. Somehow, she was OK and I got the hot shelf outside without burning myself further. My kid also grabbed the burn cream, which I rubbed in, before finishing dinner.

Surely nothing more could go wrong, right? Wrong. When I was finally plating everything up, my cut suddenly re-opened and I had blood going everywhere again, even worse than before. My kid gave me that "Oh shit" look, but I assured him, "It's just a finger dude. Don't tell Mom", as I could see he was contemplating grabbing the trauma kit. I won't lie, it looked like Friday the 13th on my countertop. At that point he wisely grabbed the super glue, and we finally put a stop to it. As Mrs. GH and I reflected over our comedy of errors, all we could do was laugh. My kid even joked, "Dad, did you buy a cursed duck, or what?" You can't make shit like this up, and I swear, no alcohol was involved in this story, lol.
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Mishaps or not, I still got things done. 🤣
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Jeez, I’d have yelled something very close to, “Oh, for duck’s sake! You ducking duckwit! Duuuuck!!!”

I’ve dropped knives like that before, and yeah, I can jump like Spider-Man when I have to. I’ve also cut my fingers (often times right after thinking, “Careful, dipshit, or you’ll cut your—ouch! Duck!”), burned my hand, tripped…but never all in the same meal, nor did I involve others in my shenanigans.

I’m glad everyone’s all right, especially Mrs GH. She was collateral damage.
 
Wow, what a string of calamities. Glad everything turned out more or less okay!

The knife slipped when I was cutting through the stem end of the spaghetti squash I stuffed recently and cut a large triangular shaped flap of skin at the outer side base of my thumb nail down almost to the first knuckle. Lots of blood and it would start bleeding again every time the area got touched, even with a bandaid on for almost 2 days. Finally stopped when I found some skin glue after searching for more bandaids after I emptied the box in the kitchen. The flap has pretty much reattached itself, though is still quite tender and pink. Had to put some more skin glue on it yesterday because the very outer edges are drying up and curling and I caught a part on something rough, didn't feel good at all.

I had done nearly the same thing years ago, though a smaller area, so part of the flap was scar tissue. I was a bit afraid it wouldn't reattach.

A couple of years ago, I set a pan of nearly boiling water at the back of the sink lip and on the counter. Have no idea why now, but it tipped and a good bit of it splashed onto me in my midriff area. There were a few spots with second degree burns. Had to go to doc for some Silvadene.
 
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Gone Hiking said:
I set out tonight simply to make Julia Child's Duck A L'Orange. As I was doing some prep work, I bumped my chef's knife off the counter and barely managed to swing my foot out of the way before it became impaled. I should have stopped right there and ordered a pizza, because just a few minutes later while cutting off a wing, I sent my razor sharp Wusthof across the top of my finger. Blood went everywhere and it took me 10 minutes to get it to stop. .
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That classifies as true kitchen nightmare! hope you are recovering and not leaking blood all over the place!
At least the duck looked excellent.
I think my worst accident was when I was dicing some veg for a chutney and using the blade of the knife ( a 10" Wusthof) to dump the veg into a large stainless steel bowl. The bowl had a lip all around the edge, and as I lifted the knife to the bowl, the point of the knife caught under the lip and sliced halfway through the ball of my thumb. No hope for a bandaid there, so I took a clean tea towel, wrapped it tightly round my hand and carried on.
 
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