My mother died in September last year, I cannot even begin to explain how that feels
My mother died in September last year, I cannot even begin to explain how that feels
three weeks time I'm going to have the electric shock,they will knock me out first,my thyroid is fine,I'm taking a blood thinner at the moment and a heart slowing tablet,to prep for the procedure,my anger is i don't understand why its happened ,i was mega active un till this came on,i have no excesses ,my limited caffine ,sodium and alcohol,i have cut right out now,but i just miss my riding and can't wait to get back out,i have friend who is a gp and she gives me support and i am going to chat with a councillor ,organised by my gp ,i know some how i will sort this out ,but it has hit me hard
The thing is with things like this, they can't be foreseen. Its not like something you may have noticed & ignored when you saw it. At present & the foreseeable future, I'm on lifelong medication, for epilepsy, Born with it & brought up with it. That's the condition that prevents the use of painkillers. Found out just over a year ago that one lot I've been on since '77 has caused bone thinning. In order to treat it they first need to stop the treatment that's causing the damage, in order to treat the damage it done!
I have many friends that as I say have a brain and they have different out looks on life and they have constantly gave me their knowledge,experience and guidence on how I should get through this and believe me I apreciate it all,I know you had a near death experience ,and to that I am Lucky I have what I do ,I'm still a bit raw, I miss my bikes at the moment,like something has been snatched away though tempory,
Similar happened to my wife - found her on the floor [where she had been since about 9am] when I came home from work. Emergency operation on the spine etc etc. Our plans of buying a tandem bike and touring are now out of the question as are the m/cycle tours and camping holidays were always hoping to do. She walks only with a walking stick [and the doctors say she is lucky to be able to do that], her balance is very poor and she too requires morphine when the pain gets bad. I have had to take early retirement to be able to stay at home and be nearby [I worked a 24 hour standby system and could be out for far too many unpredictable hours]. Life can change in an instant with no warning all you can do is carry on - there is no alternative.For me there have been many major changes in my life. The latest one happened on the 5th November last year. Until then I had cycled and cycled and cycled, I had swum, walked and you name it. I have cycled more miles than I had driven in 2014 (+6,000 miles cycled between Jan and Oct) and was commuting 3 times a week on a 22 mile each way commute.
I used to climb mountains, swim every lunch time and not bat an eyelid over walking 27 miles in a day, and getting up and doing the same thing the next day and the next. A holiday for me was the chance to get out and walk or cycle a long distance. My last holiday was a 700 mile off-road camping tour by bike in the UK. That was last September.
Then I put the telephone down and went to walk away, in my own home. Sometime I do quite a lotonly this time it did not happen. I put the phone down, went to turn around and ended up on the floor in agony where I lay for the best part of 2 hours before I could move to my bed where I have been ever since other than the odd visit to hospital by stretcher because I can't sit. I can't weight bear on my spine. A disc shattered (not ruptured) in my spine at L5-S1 which is basically the lowest disc. It shattered as though it was made of ceramic rather than plasticine which is how they are meant to be. Overnight I lost the use of my right leg and most of the feeling as well.
To cut a very long story short, my spine can't now weight bear. For me to ride my recumbent trike (bought since this happened and it is the only way I leave the house without an ambulance!) I need to have a double dose of morphine, single dose of paracetamol and a large dose of pregabalin which suppressed nerve pain. I need the same to walk anywhere (100-200metres) with crutches and can't walk without crutches at all. I have had surgery which has recovered 2/3rds of the use of my right leg and most of the feeling, but not all of the control. I have also had another procedure which didn't help at all. I still can't sit up in a chair normally and haven't done other than my physio (8-10 times a day) since my back went. My new surgeon thinks that my spine did not develop properly and had anyone who knew what they were looking at seen an MRI of my spine, they would have seen this coming. The next disc up is sound but misshapen and is a wedge not a disc - hence the probability it is a birth defect and was always going to happen, it was just a case of when. I go in for major surgery on my back on Monday, in a hope to reduce the pain I am in, the pain meds I am on (I have been on morphine since it happened over 6 months ago and am now on time release morphine capsules as well as oral morphine and various other meds) and a hope that fusing the spine will allow me to sit up again. I have had to purchase one of those horrible riser/recliner chairs, I have a frame around the toilet and we are considering moving into a bungalow if this surgery does not work. I don't know if I will ever be able to drive a normal car again!
So life has changed a touch recently.
I haven't given up the hope of touring. I can now cycle 20 miles and my recumbent trike can take my crutches. The trike was purchased with the ability to take a pannier rack as well. I'm slow but I still manage more than most people. Camping could be an issue but my surgeon is hopeful of getting me back on my feet literally. Today I am in for my spine to be fused.. I'm just waiting to be yes taken down to theatre as I type this! I'm guessing I probably won't ever work again unless the surgery makes a massive difference to life right now but there we go. Luckily my husband earns enough to cover both of us if we are careful but I don't think we will be able to complete our world tour! But to be honest I think we both know how lucky I have been. I just need to be able to sit, that's all I want from this operation! To be able to sit again!
Well good news ,went for a ultra sound on my heart,and the X-ray lady said when did you have a ecg,I said 3 weeks ago when it first started,she said your heart appears to be normal now,and got me a ecg straight away and he confirmed it during a resting ecg ,so waiting to my next move they can't shock me if I'm out of