OCD and autism

caseydog

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With me, it's any kind of travel papers/passes. When I lived/worked in Minneapolis, I commuted by bus and my employer provided a monthly unlimited bus pass.

I loved riding the bus, but became obsessed about losing the pass. I'd get it out of my wallet and put it in my front pocket...then I'd stick my hand in my front pocket and check it. Then I'd take it out and look at it, to make sure it was the pass and not something else, then I'd stick it back in my pocket. Then I'd put my hand in my pocket...over and over for the 45-minute ride home.

I took to making sure I always had about three times the bus fare in cash in case the 147th time I checked for my pass, it magically turned into a library card, so I wouldn't be thrown into bus prison for hopping the bus without the fare.

It's half the reason I'm pure hell to travel with - I spend the entire time obsessing over my boarding pass, my passport, my driver's license, my landing card, any kind of travel documents, I constantly check, recheck, and re-recheck, and as I pass through each step of a journey, I worry over not being allowed through the next checkpoint, because of my documentation being wrong.

A large part of that (self-analysis continues) is that I absolutely am terrified of holding up a line. I've gotten mild panic attacks when I've been in a line and it gets to me, and I have to fumble through my papers. The whole time, I'm worried everyone behind me is noticing that I'm the jerk screwing up everyone else's day because I handed over my credit card instead of my passport and now oh god this guy probably thinks I'm trying to bribe him or something and as soon as he plays along and let's me through he's pressing that secret button under his little podium that they all have to silently summon security and they're gonna drag me to a room and beat me and stick a flashlight up my butt looking for drugs!!!...and that's when I get so worked up, I drop all my travel docs all over the floor in front of the agent and by then, I really just want to go back to the house and forget the whole thing.

I hear you. I am not afraid of flying -- my best friend is terrified of flying. I get anxious about some of the same things you do. In the past, I always tried to be to the airport early, and sit at a bar near my gate, and drink. Self medication. Not sure what I'll do, now.

I pretty much fly through the TSA checkpoint. I have the whole routine down. Three tubs -- one for my camera bodies, one for my MacBook, and one for personal items. I wear slip-on shoes (usually Berkies), and comfortable athletic pants with a drawstring, no belt. (I don't like to wear a belt when I'm working, either -- belt buckles and concours quality paint jobs are not friends). I can unpack, go through the scanner booth, and pack up in a flash.

By the way, I did a plane to plane photoshoot around Dallas, and the aircraft company took us to this BBQ joint at a small airport in the middle of nowhere. On the way back, I sat in the co-pilot seat, and the pilot let my fly the plane -- we had a "safe-word" that meant, "let go of the controls, the pilot is taking control." I was not one bit anxious. I loved it. Same with cars. I am completely at ease at 150 mph. I guess the stimuli coming from the experiences take over.

C-Downtown-001.jpg


CD
 

caseydog

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It's strange in how many was this condition manifests itself. I have none of the aforementioned habits, but I am quite particular about symmetry and straight lines - if I see a picture hanging crookedly, or things arranged asymmetrically I have to rearrange them. I also like to put everything away in the same place it came from. I could get up in total darkness, get dressed, make breakfast, find my car keys, phone, laptop and briefcase, all without turning on a light. I think the latter probably stems from doing soldiery thing in the dark when I was younger, but I've no idea where the symmetry thing comes from. I should point out that I am absolutely nothing like Mr Bean, in case anyone was thinking.

The symmetry thing is similar to my childhood compulsion with everything being even, such as stepping on a crack with one foot, and having to step on one with the other. I too can't let a crooked picture alone. I have to fix it. As for visual symmetry, I HATE IT. Balance is important, but not the same as symmetry. My photos are rarely symmetrical, but always balanced. I don't know how those things all fit together in one brain.

CD
 

TastyReuben

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I'm also not afraid of flying, and usually, when we're flying to Europe, that a 9-hour or so flight, and it's the first time I decompress a bit during the flight.

The bad thing is, due to work restrictions, we can go over for, at best 11 or 12 days. That means, as soon as we land, get our lodgings squared away, and having a good night's sleep, I'm already worrying about the trip back, and it sits there in the back of my mind, slowly creeping forward a little each day.

MrsT is a balls-to-the-wall vacationer - if the flight leaves at 2PM, she wants to be doing the last thing at 10AM-11AM ("We have time!" is her rallying cry), where I don't even want to do anything the day before except sit in the hotel room and wait to leave for the airport...the next day. I'm not even joking.

The "on the spectrum" thing, my SIL keys on two things, my counting/sorting things, and my difficulty in distinguishing between someone being literal and someone being figurative. I nearly always go with the literal.

You know that scene in Elf where Buddy is excited because he sees the sign for "World's Best Coffee?" - that's me. It's why I'm nearly always very careful avoiding words like "best" or "better," or I qualify them ("I think this is best," or "That's the better one to me"), because when someone says to me, "This is the best cheese," my first thought is that it won the most recent Best Cheese In The Whole World competition, and it takes me a couple of minutes to remember, "Oh, wait, they mean they like it best, not that it's been objectively deemed best by some recognized authority."

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caseydog

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The bad thing is, due to work restrictions, we can go over for, at best 11 or 12 days. That means, as soon as we land, get our lodgings squared away, and having a good night's sleep, I'm already worrying about the trip back, and it sits there in the back of my mind, slowly creeping forward a little each day.

MrsT is a balls-to-the-wall vacationer - if the flight leaves at 2PM, she wants to be doing the last thing at 10AM-11AM ("We have time!" is her rallying cry), where I don't even want to do anything the day before except sit in the hotel room and wait to leave for the airport...the next day. I'm not even joking.

I was that way when younger. The meds actually made a big difference in that respect. I also had the "involuntary shock therapy" of ten years of certain weeks (sometimes a month) of not knowing where I was going to be tomorrow or the next day. I have actually sat in airports waiting for a call to tell me where to go. The first few times, I spent the night at the airport. I got to a point where if the customer couldn't get a deal closed so I could do my job, I just found a nice hotel nearby, and spent the night -- at the customer's expense, of course. My attitude became, "Call me when you get your $#@& together."

So, some things that would have made me a nervous wreck 20 years ago, don't bother me at all now.

CD
 

rascal

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I hear you. I am not afraid of flying -- my best friend is terrified of flying. I get anxious about some of the same things you do. In the past, I always tried to be to the airport early, and sit at a bar near my gate, and drink. Self medication. Not sure what I'll do, now.

I pretty much fly through the TSA checkpoint. I have the whole routine down. Three tubs -- one for my camera bodies, one for my MacBook, and one for personal items. I wear slip-on shoes (usually Berkies), and comfortable athletic pants with a drawstring, no belt. (I don't like to wear a belt when I'm working, either -- belt buckles and concours quality paint jobs are not friends). I can unpack, go through the scanner booth, and pack up in a flash.

By the way, I did a plane to plane photoshoot around Dallas, and the aircraft company took us to this BBQ joint at a small airport in the middle of nowhere. On the way back, I sat in the co-pilot seat, and the pilot let my fly the plane -- we had a "safe-word" that meant, "let go of the controls, the pilot is taking control." I was not one bit anxious. I loved it. Same with cars. I am completely at ease at 150 mph. I guess the stimuli coming from the experiences take over.

View attachment 51706

CD


My brother in law has his pilots licence, I'm never going up with him, he doesn't even know what day it is. We asked him for Xmas lunch one day. He turned up Boxing Day. He had slept for 24 hrs. Had no idea. Don't how he got his license.?

Russ
 

Burt Blank

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The Hawker Siddeley 125 mid sized executive jet was tested at Hawarden Airport near us. The boss was a friend of my Dads, they always needed human ballast. The test pilot was a nutter. He waited for me to go to the toilet before doing a loop the loop whilst I was in there taking a standing pee. I went up two more times. He smiled at me when we boarded for the second trip, I just gave him a big fake yawn. I like flying,
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caseydog

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Mod.Comment: The last two posts have veered off topic. Please keep to the thread topic or start a new thread.

Let's see... one... two... Ummmm, me?

I was on topic. I was sharing my experiences with TR about travel, which is a BIG deal for people with OCD. Travel rings every alarm bell in the heads of people with OCD. I even said that the meds helped a lot, and that being thrown into the rapids helped we swim through the OCD better.

I didn't plan to start this thread, yet I did, it seems. Now I'm taking it off topic? :facepalm:

CD
 

rascal

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My ex butcger friend came around. He is feeling a lot better, I suggested he go to his doc and get meds sorted, his son has not been in touch, but then he keeps his phone off.
Went home with 4 frozen meals and some radishes from the garden. I feel better for him.
Left with a smile.

Russ
 

Morning Glory

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Let's see... one... two... Ummmm, me?

I was on topic. I was sharing my experiences with TR about travel, which is a BIG deal for people with OCD. Travel rings every alarm bell in the heads of people with OCD. I even said that the meds helped a lot, and that being thrown into the rapids helped we swim through the OCD better.

I didn't plan to start this thread, yet I did, it seems. Now I'm taking it off topic? :facepalm:

CD

Not you. Your post was bang on topic! The following posts drifted into about flying/piloting experiences in a more general sense (not related to OCD etc).
 
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caseydog

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Not you. Your post was bang on topic! The following posts drifted into about flying/piloting experiences in a more general sense (not related to OCD etc).

Okay. Must have been my OCD kicking in. :wink:

BTW, before meds I wouldn't have dared to challenge you as a figure of authority. I'd be up all night afraid of getting banned. Back then, I'd get a promotion and a big salary increase, and within hours, I'd be worried about getting fired if I couldn't "cut it" with my new responsibilities.

Today, one of my biggest customers, good for 20K per year in business, regularly tells me to do things I know aren't going to happen, and I have no problem telling him, "That ain't gonna' happen."

It's a combination of meds, and just getting old. I would recommend that TR look into meds... just consider them. I can tell that the "getting old" part is already kicking in.

I take a very low dose of Paroxitene, an SSRI. When I first started taking it, it was an epiphany. "Wow, is this how most people feel?" I could function before that, and was quite successful. But, after the meds, I functioned well, and actually felt good.

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rascal

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Paroxitene....... Never heard of it. I discussed Diazapan with my friend for taking the edge off? He's looking into it.

Russ
 
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Morning Glory

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BTW, before meds I wouldn't have dared to challenge you as a figure of authority.

You are absolutely within your rights to challenge me or anyone else (so long as its polite!). I sometimes often make mistakes. And I'm not a figure of authority. I had enough of that in my past job. I'm simply a moderator.
 

caseydog

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Paroxitene....... Never heard of it. I discussed Diazapan with my friend for taking the edge off? He's looking into it.

Russ

Diazapan is a Benzo (Benzodiazepine). Totally different from an SSRI. I have taken a Benzo, lorazipan, but not on a regular basis. Benzos can be addictive. If you take them daily, and stop for some reason, it is like someone drinking a bottle of vodka every day, and suddenly stopping.

Paroxitene, AKA Paxil, is an SSRI. You still don't want to suddenly stop taking it, but what happens when you do is not nearly as bad as what happens with a Benzo you have been taking daily.

As with any medicine beyond something like Tylenol, a medical doctor needs to be directly involved.

CD
 
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