The General Chat Thread (2025)

TastyReuben said:
You might be surprised… :whistling:
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I'd say it smacks of passive agressive behavior, but I am not a psychologist by any means. What would someone have to do to make you so angry as to not call them back?

I also just realized that you are probably tipsy by now (4:30pm EST) if you started drinking at noon...nothing wrong with that, just an observation.
 
JAS_OH1 said:
What would someone have to do to make you so angry as to not call them back?
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It doesn’t really have anything to do with being angry. My position has always been that unless it’s my wife, my parents, or my boss, I’m not really obligated to respond just because someone calls me, especially if I suspect it’s about something I’m not interested in or I’m trying to avoid…and that goes back long before texting.

I treat a lot of texts as FYI communications, and I won’t answer anyone’s phone call (except for MrsT’s or my manager’s) without screening it through VM first, and I’m not offended in the least when others screen mine.

JAS_OH1 said:
I also just realized that you are probably tipsy by now (4:30pm EST) if you started drinking at noon...nothing wrong with that, just an observation.
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One daiquiri and half a beer?…not even close!
 
TastyReuben said:
It doesn’t really have anything to do with being angry. My position has always been that unless it’s my wife, my parents, or my boss, I’m not really obligated to respond just because someone calls me, especially if I suspect it’s about something I’m not interested in or I’m trying to avoid…and that goes back long before texting.
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That one would be my middle daughter, who if I text and ask her a question will just totally ignore me. But if she needs something (like a question about cooking, usually) she expects an immediate response. I am not saying that you are like that by any means.
TastyReuben said:
I treat a lot of texts as FYI communications, and I won’t answer anyone’s phone call (except for MrsT’s or my manager’s) without screening it through VM first, and I’m not offended in the least when others screen mine.
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I think I texted you a few times, glad you responded, LOL.
TastyReuben said:
One daiquiri and half a beer?…not even close!
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That's all? But it's Sunday afternoon, what else do you have to do besides drink?
 
JAS_OH1 said:
That's all? But it's Sunday afternoon, what else do you have to do besides drink?
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We actually drink very little these days, for the most part, unless something unusual comes up (that 24oz small beer yesterday, for example).

Our usual pattern is very regimented - Mon-Thu, no drinking (again, unless something unusual is going on, like it’s a special occasion, or I need to deglaze a pan with a glug of wine, I’ll use one of those little bottles and drink the rest).

Friday - one cocktail each, usually rum or bourbon.

Saturday - one drink of something each, usually beer.

Sunday is the big day - either a bottle of bubbly between us, or some kind of specialty drink, like those daiquiris or a pitcher of sangria.

That’s it…until the holidays, then it’s drink whenever and how much you want. That’s when I make my deadly punches.
 
TastyReuben said:
It doesn’t really have anything to do with being angry. My position has always been that unless it’s my wife, my parents, or my boss, I’m not really obligated to respond just because someone calls me, especially if I suspect it’s about something I’m not interested in or I’m trying to avoid…and that goes back long before texting.

I treat a lot of texts as FYI communications, and I won’t answer anyone’s phone call (except for MrsT’s or my manager’s) without screening it through VM first, and I’m not offended in the least when others screen mine.


One daiquiri and half a beer?…not even close!
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Oh and I am pretty sure you knew that when I was talking about ghosting, I wasn't talking about random people calling or texting, I was referring to family members. Although I suppose some have close personal friends who do it to them, but none of my friends are like that.
 
JAS_OH1 said:
Oh and I am pretty sure you knew that when I was talking about ghosting, I wasn't talking about random people calling or texting, I was referring to family members.
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Yeah, I include family in it - I’ve got someone pestering me right now about something, and I’m not responding because it’s pointless to do so.

JAS_OH1 said:
Although I suppose some have close personal friends who do it to them, but none of my friends are like that.
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It’s funny, because MrsT and I have been talking about this very thing (well, not ghosting per se, but texting response times) - she didn’t respond to someone close to her fast enough, and now she’s on that person’s shitlist, and MrsT’s feeling was, “Geez, it was only a couple of hours, and we were watching a movie!”

Good on her, though, she’s refused to apologize, because she didn’t do anything wrong, but there’s some lingering iciness there.
 
TastyReuben said:
It’s funny, because MrsT and I have been talking about this very thing (well, not ghosting per se, but texting response times) - she didn’t respond to someone close to her fast enough, and now she’s on that person’s shitlist, and MrsT’s feeling was, “Geez, it was only a couple of hours, and we were watching a movie!”
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Yeah, I am talking more like days or not at all. I realize people are busy and some are way busier than I am. I would never get irritated with someone for a day or two, but geeze, when I text my daughter and don't hear back for an entire week (or sometimes not at all) I get irritated.

Edited to add: prime example of this is when right after Thanksgiving (she lives in another state), middle daughter texted me and said that she and her child would likely be flying in for Christmas and would be staying with her younger sister most likely and she was excited to see us. I don't hear anything more from her about it, so the first week of December I text and ask if they are still coming. No reply to either my texts or her dad's, or our phone calls. I text her again the week before Christmas and ask if they will be needing a ride from the airport and that I am available, when are they coming, are they still coming? No reply. I call her younger sister and she says they aren't coming. On Christmas middle daughter texts me "Merry Christmas", and on NYE, "Happy New Year" and then about 2 weeks later she texts me asking for cooking tips on something she was making as if nothing ever happened. I don't ask why. If I call and she answers, I might say, "Hey, haven't heard from you in a long time, how are things?" She will say oh she has just been very busy with work and blah blah blah. Very cheerful and pleasant, she doesn't have any issues with me or her dad, but for some reason she doesn't want us to know what's going on in her life. I don't understand it but apparently it's very common in that generation.
 
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SandwichShortOfAPicnic said:
Agreed. Surely us oldies have some old school manners?!
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Manners cost nothing.
One time I answered the front door - it was a guy with a name tag and an electric provider logo/name.
I looked at the badge and clipboard in his hands ... smiled, and said ... no thank you, byebye, and shut the door.
Stand they while he tries persuade me to stay and engage conversation, nah ... door is shut, but politely :angelic:
 
AdaptAndAchieve said:
Family are not always good, mine definitely are not
I'm totally not saying your sis is toxic, but I'm way past dealing with toxic family.
I've not seen or spoken to my brother since about 2016 or 2017, and can't see that changing. Lifes too short to deal with him.
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I have a sister like that, last time I saw or spoke to her was when our mother passed away in 2015. I am fine with that.
 
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