The relaxing non judgemental random thoughts thread

Many allergies that don't sound like common allergies are just made up by our immune system. Our defence cells are then "programmed" false and get activated by harmless threats.
 
There’s one guy at work I just can’t seem to figure out. Everyone else says he’s a great, genuinely helpful, easygoing guy. And I’ve seen that side of him in large meetings.

To me though? He’s always cold, matter-of-fact, and a bit of a jerk. I have no idea why, I haven’t worked here that long and have barely interacted with him. I wish I knew why he seems to dislike me.
 
Herbaceous said:
There’s one guy at work I just can’t seem to figure out. Everyone else says he’s a great, genuinely helpful, easygoing guy. And I’ve seen that side of him in large meetings.

To me though? He’s always cold, matter-of-fact, and a bit of a jerk. I have no idea why, I haven’t worked here that long and have barely interacted with him. I wish I knew why he seems to dislike me.
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I'd guess he's threatened by you or is on a power trip, or perhaps even fancies you that can make people behave very oddly.

Best nip it in the bud early. If it's only mildly noticeable when on your own with them say something like "I haven't done anything to offend you have I?" when they say no and ask why say "no reason, just a feeling I got, probably nothing."

Most of the time they then feel obliged to demonstrate how ok with you they are. Make sure you remain wary looking rather than pleased and accepting and they will continue to demonstrate they're ok with you until a new status quo has developed. It's subtle but it works.

ps If they don't do this you have a stinker on your hands!
 
PabloLerntKochen said:
Is it a problem for you not being liked by somebody?
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Certainly not, plenty of people don’t like me and I’m fine with that! What bothers me is that he’s so friendly with everyone else, everyone else thinks he’s great, and yet he’s so different with me. And we’ve not spoken much, so it’s odd.
 
Herbaceous said:
To me though? He’s always cold, matter-of-fact, and a bit of a jerk. I have no idea why, I haven’t worked here that long and have barely interacted with him. I wish I knew why he seems to dislike me.
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I had something like that happen once, only it was a fair majority of my coworkers!

What happened was, I was consulting on a long-term project, and my piece of it was coming to an end, but the client liked my work, so they shifted me to a new team.

There was a lot of passive-aggressive behavior toward me, but I sort of shrugged it off as new guy blues, and figured I’d just win them over eventually.

Nope, and it got worse and worse, until after a couple of weeks, they were outright hostile toward me, saying heavily sarcastic things about me right in front of me, but like I wasn’t there.

Finally, I’d had enough, and I’m about as non-confrontational as it gets, especially at a client worksite (and these were all full-time employees), but I asked them flat out what their issue was with me.

Come to find out…unbeknownst to everyone, I was being used as leverage/punishment against an employee the manager of the team didn’t like. She knew he’d wanted (and expected) the job I’d been given, but she gave it to me (and I was much less experienced than he was) as a way to remind him who was in charge.

They thought I’d politicked for the position and misrepresented my skill level, screwing their friend out of the job. After all that was worked out, we got on much better, and I was gone a couple of months later anyway, which was the manager’s plan all along.
 
25 years in HR and I met/worked with loads of people who bore a grudge, didn't like a "foreigner" working with them, hated me because I'd fired their friend, thought I was invading their power zone,whatever. Sometimes the reactions were hurtful but I just brushed them off. I just repeated phrases from the old Testament.
Sodom, for Gomorrah we die! 😆 😆 😆
 
JAS_OH1 said:
It would be for me if I hadn't given the person a reason to treat me like that.
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Some people say we're living in a culture were having enemies is completely normal. Due to certain beliefs, ideas or trained behaviors, there'll always be people not liking your attitude, as they're believing in their way of thinking.
 
PabloLerntKochen said:
Some people say we're living in a culture were having enemies is completely normal. Due to certain beliefs, ideas or trained behaviors, there'll always be people not liking your attitude, as they're believing in their way of thinking.
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I get the impression that Herbaceous gets on well with others and has a likeable, easy-going manner. Having a hostile work environment can be quite stressful and for the co-worker to be disagreeable for no apparent reason is unprofessional and does not foster a productive work environment, in my opinion.
 
Depending on the size of the team it's not possible to have only people that are going well together. I don't take anything personally on my workplace, learnt that in the first year, as the kitchen can be rather tough.

I can't say what's better, to be only surrounded by friends or having some enemies, I mean they keep you awake.
 
I find myself wondering if my son will ever be safe enough for me to relax. I think not.

This morning at 3.30am he woke us plastered in red raised welts having an allergic reaction to goodness knows what. It got as far as his face starting to swell, him needing an inhaler, getting the adrenaline pens readied and dressed to go to A&E. Fortunately as we were about to jump into action the piriton (chlorphenamine) kicked in.
I've been watching him sleep since just to monitor his breathing.
It's a constant source of worry.
 
JAS_OH1 said:
I get the impression that Herbaceous gets on well with others and has a likeable, easy-going manner. Having a hostile work environment can be quite stressful and for the co-worker to be disagreeable for no apparent reason is unprofessional and does not foster a productive work environment, in my opinion.
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Aw, thanks JAS_OH1! I’d like to think I’m easy to get along with.

There will always be people who dislike me. I’m fine with that, and as an environmentalist, I’m quite used to people dismissing me/treating me as irrelevant or someone who doesn’t need to be taken seriously (got quite enough of that at my last job, thanks). What bothers me about this dude it that he’s a happy, jokey, easygoing guy with literally everyone else, but quite gruff with me.

In any case, I think I’ll just straight-up ask him about it next time I’ve got the chance. Worth a shot.
 
Last night we were watching TV and I said something about needing to finish loading the dishwasher and starting it. Hubby offered to do it, which was really sweet.

So this morning I go into the kitchen to have my tea and I open the dishwasher to start unloading it while waiting for the tea to steep. I look in the bottom part and notice that the splatter screen (used for frying foods) had been placed incorrectly in the bottom rack of dishwasher. It was leaning towards the middle of the bottom rack and had blocked the water spinner above it that sprays water inside of the glasses and other items that fit into the top rack, so obviously nothing on the top rack had been properly cleaned. I started hand washing all the glasses, cups, and such that were on the top rack and hubby asked me what I was doing. I explained it to him and showed him how he needs to check when loading the bottom rack that items are not so tall as to block the spinner from doing it's job (this is not the first time I have told him this), and he got really cranky about that and said something like, "Well as usual, I screwed that up, can't do anything right."

Then I was putting a pan out of the dish drainer (I handwash all of my pots and pans) and noticed that one of my cast iron skillets had some kind of plastic/vinyl residue stuck on the bottom of it and asked him what happened. Well I have these vinyl chopping mats I use sometimes that I will keep on the chopping block if I don't feel like using and cleaning the block. He told me that while I was out of town, he was using the cast iron skillet to cook something and placed the hot skillet on the mat (duh) and it melted the mat and stuck to the bottom of the skillet. He told me he threw away the mat. I am fine with that, they aren't expensive, but he could have scrubbed off the residue from the bottom of the pot so that next time I cooked with that pan it didn't stink up the kitchen with burning vinyl.

I didn't gripe about these things but I am sure it showed I was annoyed. We kind of avoided each other for most of the afternoon.
 
Really looking forward to watching the Oppenheimer film but it is 3 hours long and I am not sure my bladder could cope.
 
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