What would you do?

medtran49

medtran49

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A recent Dear Abby column had the below scenario.

A young woman was in the checkout line and had some luxury items in her groceries, among them an $8 jar of spaghetti sauce. She was paying in cash but didn't have enough money so turned to the person next in line (the writer to Dear Abby) and started staring at them. The cashier then followed suit. The writer to Dear Abby felt like they were being pressured to pay the remainder of the young woman's bill by both her and the cashier. But, they weren't in great financial shape at the time so decided to not respond in any manner, other than looking back at the 2 women. The cashier apparently paid the remainder of the young woman's bill after some huffing and puffing, then had little to say when she checked the writer out. The writer asked Dear Abby what they should have done. The reply was that the writer was under no obligation to pay and should not feel bad about not doing so, and that pay it forward and random acts of kindness were entirely voluntary and no one should feel pressured into doing them.

My feelings are that if she didn't have enough money to pay for her items that she should put some back and/or get cheaper items. I personally wouldn't buy an $8 jar of spaghetti sauce and I'm certainly not going to pay for someone else to do so.

We've bought groceries for people before who've been down on their luck and have given to food banks, but have never included ready to eat luxury items. We've also given money to people who were short a few bucks, but have never experienced that level of entitlement other than once years ago.

Craig was in Wal-Mart for something. I don't remember what but he must have been in dire straits because he has always hated shopping there. He got in line behind a woman with a bunch of little kids with a cart piled high. The kids were running around, screaming and yelling while the cashier was checking her out. The bill was over $1000 and the woman only had about $600 on her taxpayer funded debit card. The woman looked back at the people lined up behind her, apparently hoping for donations. Everyone of them was already irritated because of the kids and the time it had taken to get her rung up. Realizing that no donations would be coming her way, she started picking through her bags and giving things back to the cashier. It took about 15 more minutes before she finally was able to finish checking out. Craig was still red faced and fuming when he got home.
 
I suppose it would depend on my mood, her attitude, and how short she was on the bill. Feeling generous and, say, no more than $20 over, I may have paid. May have.

If I wasn’t in a great mood, but not too pizzy, I probably would have cranked my neck in an exaggerated motion behind me and asked, “What’re we lookin’ at?! What’d I miss?!” :laugh:

If I was in a very pizzy mood, and I mean very pizzy, because I’m normally a sweetheart, you all know that ( 😉 ), I would have said, “Oh gosh! How short are you?! $18? Let me help…” and I would have pointed out three or four things she could remove from her cart to make up the difference.

“You’re welcome!” :thankyou:
 
+1 with TastyReuben
If ya ain't got enough money, honey but stuff back!
I'm not a bank, don't even look at me !!! I know that sounds terrible, but, live within your means people! Budget your shopping, plan out meals, be a responsible adult/parent/human.
Why on God's green Earth are you even buying an $8 jar of red sauce for crying in the beer! A one dollar can of Hunt's Spaghetti Sauce will do if you're tight on money.
I'd like to add that the Walmart employee should not, I repeat, should not be looking for someone else in line to cover her irresponsible shopping escapade. I probably would have found a manger and reported the unnecessary incident. I'm retired, I have all the time in the world...
And once again, live within your means - you're not providing a good adult example to your children. Kids don't need to know that you have no money, instead that you know how to manage your money, frugally. Isn't that we all learned from our parents?

To answer the OG question, "What Would You Do?" I'm afraid that I would have lectured the young women on how to be a responsible adult in this World; you are not entitled to any thing that you have not earned.

I'll get down off of my soap box now ...
 
I would not have payed in this instance, while we are very generous givers to our local food bank. The reason being that the local food bank is visited by people who are verified by the government to be poor, while the lady in line can be anyone and just looking to get an advantage. As I don't know if the lady is truly struggling, she won't get a penny from me.

Otherwise, we donate to the local food bank every week. Being disabled myself, I know what it's like to struggle. But I won't give random people money either, it's just not smart to do. Better save that for those you know truly need it.
 
There are so many stories on social media where someone is upset because they cannot pay so someone else helps them out, maybe some people expect that to happen to them when in reality that sort of thing only happens if someone wants to not because they are expected to or because they have a camera rolling to show what an amazing person they are...so fake.
If I didn't have enough money to pay I would give something back, hold my head high, pay then walk out with my dignity still intact.
 
I’m sure I’ve told this before, so here’s the abridged version of me paying for something.

Stuck behind an older couple in line at Kroger, and she definitely had some cognitive issues going on. After ringing ip their purchases, she couldn’t find her loyalty/points card (and frankly, didn’t even know if she had one or what one was, IMO).

After several minutes of looking through her purse, the cashier filled her out a new one on the spot (which took an excruciatingly long time in itself), applied it to her purchases, she paid (another drawn out affair), everything bagged, ready to go, and dear hubby pops out with, “Oh yeah, I ate this a while ago, should probably pay for it, heh-heh-heh!” - and he pulled a candy wrapper out of his front pocket, and the way he said it and grinned slyly, it was obvious he held that back on purpose, just to be funny.

The whole process started over again, and the cashier rang it up, asked the woman for the loyalty card she just gave her, and the woman was just as clueless as before, and before they could start the purse-hunt again, I piped up and said, “Just put it in with my stuff!” :laugh:
 
Either you're communist or capitalist. We could share everything without taking advantage of somebody else's weakness or we can continue to say it's all earned by personal sweat.

Sometimes I'll give some homeless people some food, but that's not effective. It's just feeding the poor so they shut their mouth and let me go enjoy myself. That's where I draw the line, on my days of I'm helping homeless people and try to get along with them, I could end up homeless any day so I want to empathize as much as possible.
 
PabloLerntKochen said:
Either you're communist or capitalist. We could share everything without taking advantage of somebody else's weakness or we can continue to say it's all earned by personal sweat.

Sometimes I'll give some homeless people some food, but that's not effective. It's just feeding the poor so they shut their mouth and let me go enjoy myself. That's where I draw the line, on my days of I'm helping homeless people and try to get along with them, I could end up homeless any day so I want to empathize as much as possible.
Click to expand...

It's a fine line who you help out. I dont give to people in the street. My friend butcher has serious depression and I know for a fact his church are a huge help to him. They give out meals to families in desperate need.i supply about 10 meals every 2 months.. so I'm doing my bit and not decided who gets them. They operate a pretty good system.

Russ
 
Neither do I give anything to people begging in the street, or knocking on my car window, or waiting outside a restaurant. Nothing. I DO give money to people who are trying to help themselves however; like the lad I've got doing the garden. He works hard, is always thinking of his family and how he can improve his lot, so yes, I help him.
But I don't think it's a question of being Communist or Capitalist. After all, Communists want their people to be as uneducated as possible, so they can control them. Capitalists want to make more and more money at whatever cost. I wish life were that simple!
 
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I don't know the right way, maybe it doesn't help to feed the people who can barely go on for two hours without booze. It's just my way.

The idea of communism is what I was talking about, not what we have done in the name of Communism.

To help regular people, who just need some help is cool of course. I did stop to help most relatives, as they're growing up in a rich country and could have done everything in the past to prevent any drama or are just thinking way to complicated. 9 of 10 problems are made by themselves. I told them what I was thinking and most of them agreed with me.
 
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