The tea thread

TastyReuben said:
MrsT and I watch a lot of British television (more than American, really), and one of our favorite things is to anticipate when someone is about to be offered a cup of tea.

Scene where woman’s husband has run off with the secretary? Here comes the neighbor, “Oh dear…let me make us a nice cuppa…,” scene where they’ve just planted a nice rose bush in the back garden, and they’re breathy and tired, “How about a cup of tea, then?…” scene where they’re scattering ashes of a loved off in a windy meadow somewhere, “Right. I could do with a cup of tea right about now,” and out comes the thermos.

And to be clear, that’s not poking fun at the British was of solving every problem/celebrating every moment with tea - I think it’s beautiful.

Here in the US, there’s a little unspoken stigma with men drinking hot tea. It’s secretly considered somewhat effeminate (“Real me drink coffee…with whiskey in it!”). It’s gotten a little better in the years since I was a kid, but not much.

Afternoon tea is right out, though. You may as well go ahead and put on your auntie’s favorite summer frock if you’re a man in the US going to afternoon tea! :laugh:
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That is a travesty!

A lot of the old ideas of masculinity (and femininity) are so restrictive. It's nice to be moving away from them even if it is at a super slow pace and blighted by the likes of Tate and his ilk.

Why wouldn't a man enjoy bite sized sandwiches or flowers on the table or the effort that goes into making delicate pastries?
Or of course a lovely cup of tea!
 
SandwichShortOfAPicnic said:
Why wouldn't a man enjoy bite sized sandwiches or flowers on the table or the effort that goes into making delicate pastries?
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I definitely do, but as caseydog has pointed out, my Man Card is currently stamped “Under review until further notice.” :laugh:

I’ve told it before, but here it goes again:

Several years ago, we were in the habit of attending the occasional cooking classes held at a local cooking school - some were demo only and others were hands-on.

We got the schedule one term and noted with excitement that one of the classes on offer was “English Tea Party,” or something like that, and they further boasted that it would be taught by a special guest instructor, a local personal chef who happened to be from Norfolk.

We were in!

I called in and registered via voicemail, got on that taken care of, and on the day, MrsT and I showed up.

First thing we noticed was, as the attendees were all filing in, they were all dressed in spring fashions; print dresses in pastels, big floppy hats, white shoes…apparently, they’d missed telling me that students were encouraged to “dress the part,” which I absolutely could have pulled off, had I known.

After settling in, the next thing we picked up on was that I was the only man in the room of about 30. Didn’t surprise me too much, but we did notice it, and also that the staff of three, they’d occasionally nod our way and whisper and giggle a little, that sort of thing, and all during class, the other women would make sly remarks to my wife, or even to me, like, “You must have really done something bad, huh?”

We reached the end of the class, and as they do at this school (set inside the international market), they gave away a gift to one lucky student, and in this case, I think it was a gift basket made up of things like different teas, scone mixes, biscuits, maybe a little book, that sort of thing. We didn’t win, but everybody got a coupon for a certain amount off of anything in the market.

However, as things were winding down, and we were bringing our cups and saucers and little plates up, and thanking everyone, one of the staff announced:

“Attention! Attention, everyone! We’ve been talking, and we think there’s one person, even though they didn’t win the main prize, they shouldn’t leave empty-handed…so we’ve put together a little something for Mr. Tasty! Let’s have a big round of applause for him, allowing his wife to talk him into coming here and spending the evening amongst us ladies! He’s very brave!” - and she gave me a box of variety teabags!

MrsT was not happy about that at all, as she thought it made her sound like a nagging wife, so she was quick to point out that it was my idea to come and I brought her! :laugh:
 
PabloLerntKochen said:
In Germany there're many people who would drink beer on all occasions.
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Same in Spain. Not unusual to see a someone sat in the sun drinking a pint of beer outside a petrol station at 10am.
Potable water didn't happen in Spain until later than the UK and old habits die hard in traditional places!
 
TastyReuben said:
I definitely do, but as caseydog has pointed out, my Man Card is currently stamped “Under review until further notice.” :laugh:

I’ve told it before, but here it goes again:

Several years ago, we were in the habit of attending the occasional cooking classes held at a local cooking school - some were demo only and others were hands-on.

We got the schedule one term and noted with excitement that one of the classes on offer was “English Tea Party,” or something like that, and they further boasted that it would be taught by a special guest instructor, a local personal chef who happened to be from Norfolk.

We were in!

I called in and registered via voicemail, got on that taken care of, and on the day, MrsT and I showed up.

First thing we noticed was, as the attendees were all filing in, they were all dressed in spring fashions; print dresses in pastels, big floppy hats, white shoes…apparently, they’d missed telling me that students were encouraged to “dress the part,” which I absolutely could have pulled off, had I known.

After settling in, the next thing we picked up on was that I was the only man in the room of about 30. Didn’t surprise me too much, but we did notice it, and also that the staff of three, they’d occasionally nod our way and whisper and giggle a little, that sort of thing, and all during class, the other women would make sly remarks to my wife, or even to me, like, “You must have really done something bad, huh?”

We reached the end of the class, and as they do at this school (set inside the international market), they gave away a gift to one lucky student, and in this case, I think it was a gift basket made up of things like different teas, scone mixes, biscuits, maybe a little book, that sort of thing. We didn’t win, but everybody got a coupon for a certain amount off of anything in the market.

However, as things were winding down, and we were bringing our cups and saucers and little plates up, and thanking everyone, one of the staff announced:

“Attention! Attention, everyone! We’ve been talking, and we think there’s one person, even though they didn’t win the main prize, they shouldn’t leave empty-handed…so we’ve put together a little something for Mr. Tasty! Let’s have a big round of applause for him, allowing his wife to talk him into coming here and spending the evening amongst us ladies! He’s very brave!” - and she gave me a box of variety teabags!

MrsT was not happy about that at all, as she thought it made her sound like a nagging wife, so she was quick to point out that it was my idea to come and I brought her! :laugh:
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They probably went home whispering there's something not right there 🙄
Used to be the same here with men who like to cook fullstop, unless you were a professional chef when being a man seemed to be de rigueur!

When Mr SSOAP and I go out for a ride together they only talk to Mr SSOAP about the bikes and won't even make eye contact with me, when he says "they're her thing really, she's the one that knows about them" they look confused and continue to ignore me preferring to talk to Mr SSOAP even though I'm the one answering their questions.

After a while it wears a bit thin. Along with being out on the motorbike and people asking if Im own my own, looking around for my keeper and telling me I'm brave when I say it's just me. Mr SSOAP gets none of that nonsense!
 
SandwichShortOfAPicnic said:
Used to be the same here with men who like to cook fullstop, unless you were a professional chef when being a man seemed to be de rigueur!
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That reminds me of this: I’ve liked cooking since I was a kid, but I couldn’t cook at home much, because that was something “for the girls,” so said my dad, who’d then turn right around and say that except for having/raising babies, there wasn’t anything a woman could do that a man couldn’t do better:

“Why even the jobs women are s’posed to be good at, men do better - cooking?…best cooks are chefs, men! Nurses?…best nurses are men, an’ they're called doctors! Sewin’ clothes?…best’uns at that are tailors…men! Best teachers? College perfessors…all men! Women oughta be happy we let ‘em have the leavin’s!”

And yeah, I get the bike thing - not that my wife has any interest in cars, but when we car shop for her, hers is the main input and final word, and time and time again, we’d go to a car lot and the sales guy might acknowledge my wife, but would never talk to her directly, even after clearly stating, “Ask her, not me. It’s her car, she’s the one you have to convince.” - they’d still talk “to” her through me.
 
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SandwichShortOfAPicnic said:
Why wouldn't a man enjoy bite sized sandwiches or flowers on the table or the effort that goes into making delicate pastries?
Or of course a lovely cup of tea!
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Because they’d say this is a “real” sandwich:
IMG_4531.jpeg

Saveur

And this is a “real” dessert/pastry:

IMG_4532.jpeg

Breyer’s

And this:
IMG_4533.jpeg

The Vintage Table

is something Clara & Aunt Bee have at the Mayberry Garden Club meeting! :laugh:
 
SandwichShortOfAPicnic said:
Back to tea.

TLDR Tea fixes things.

I genuinely think the world would be a much better place if people drank more tea, no-one can start a war while having a cup of tea 😆 but to the tea story -

If the distressed person accepts tea you are on safe ground, they are not going to kick off while drinking tea, this also allows you to sit down next to them while they are drinking it and tell you why they are angry or upset. It gives you the opportunity to try and fix things. And thats it, simple as that situation diffused.
If a person refuses tea then basically you misread the situation, failed to correctly anticipate and intervene before it got to that stage and things will need to move to a different level but a skilled person does notice and does offer tea in time if it's appropriate.

My colleagues were nodding in agreement about the diligent use of tea and eventually while not exactly conceding he did stop mocking and saying offering tea doesn't work.
I guess if you're in the secret service you're tuned into noticing a much higher level of aggression rather than the subtle micro gestures that let you 'that person needs a cup of tea'!!
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I can tell you with all certainty that offering a pi$$ed off Texan a cup of tea is NOT going to save your a$$. :laugh:

What works in one culture is not guaranteed to work in another.

CD
 
BTW, I have been to afternoon tea in the UK, with my ex-wife. I was fine with it, but when we were done, I was ready for a beer and some real food in a pub. Formal afternoon tea is just not my thing.

CD
 
caseydog said:
BTW, I have been to afternoon tea in the UK, with my ex-wife. I was fine with it, but when we were done, I was ready for a beer and some real food in a pub. Formal afternoon tea is just not my thing.

CD
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That’s what’s nice about afternoon tea outside the city or a nice hotel. In the countryside, it’s still the same concept, but it’s a lot more relaxed, sort like sitting in a diner…but having tea and sandwiches, etc.
 
TastyReuben said:
That’s what’s nice about afternoon tea outside the city or a nice hotel. In the countryside, it’s still the same concept, but it’s a lot more relaxed, sort like sitting in a diner…but having tea and sandwiches, etc.
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I've done that. Specifically, in a little town in the Lake District. More casual, but still the same thing.

CD
 
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