What made you smile recently?

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For St Pat's day:
"May your kilt be short enough to do a jig, but long enough to cover your lucky charms."

And, the best Irish pickup line that I've ever heard: "You must be Irish because my penis is Dublin"...
 
An Irish Miracle?

Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up.
He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it's a law of natureof the universe that buttered toast always falls butter-down.
So he rushes round to the presbytery to fetch Father Flanagan.
He tells the priest that a miracle has occurred in his kitchen.
But he won't say what it is, so he asks Fr. Flanagan to come and see it with his own eyes.
He leads Fr.Flanagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor.
"Well," says the priest, "it's pretty obvious. Someone has dropped some buttered toast on the floor and then, for some reason, they flipped it over so that the butter was on top."
"No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that!" exclaimed Murphy
"Oh my Lord," says Fr. Flanagan, "dropped toast never falls with the butter side up.
It's a miracle..
Wait... it's not for me to say it's a miracle. I'll have to report this matter to the Bishop and he'll have to deal with it. He'll send some people round; to interview you, take photos, etc."
A thorough investigation is conducted, not only by the archdiocese but by scientists sent over from the Curia in Rome. No expense is spared.
There is great excitement in the town as everyone knows that a miracle will bring in much need tourism revenue.
Then, after 8 long weeks and with great fanfare, the Bishop announces the final ruling.
"It is certain that some kind of an extraordinary event took place in Murphy's kitchen, quite outside the natural laws of the universe. Yet the Holy See must be very cautious before ruling a miracle. All other explanations must be ruled out.

Unfortunately, in this case, it has been declared 'No Miracle' because they think that Murphy may have buttered the toast on the wrong side!"
 
Yorky said:
An Irish Miracle?

Murphy drops some buttered toast on the kitchen floor and it lands butter-side-up.
He looks down in astonishment, for he knows that it's a law of natureof the universe that buttered toast always falls butter-down.
So he rushes round to the presbytery to fetch Father Flanagan.
He tells the priest that a miracle has occurred in his kitchen.
But he won't say what it is, so he asks Fr. Flanagan to come and see it with his own eyes.
He leads Fr.Flanagan into the kitchen and asks him what he sees on the floor.
"Well," says the priest, "it's pretty obvious. Someone has dropped some buttered toast on the floor and then, for some reason, they flipped it over so that the butter was on top."
"No, Father, I dropped it and it landed like that!" exclaimed Murphy
"Oh my Lord," says Fr. Flanagan, "dropped toast never falls with the butter side up.
It's a miracle..
Wait... it's not for me to say it's a miracle. I'll have to report this matter to the Bishop and he'll have to deal with it. He'll send some people round; to interview you, take photos, etc."
A thorough investigation is conducted, not only by the archdiocese but by scientists sent over from the Curia in Rome. No expense is spared.
There is great excitement in the town as everyone knows that a miracle will bring in much need tourism revenue.
Then, after 8 long weeks and with great fanfare, the Bishop announces the final ruling.
"It is certain that some kind of an extraordinary event took place in Murphy's kitchen, quite outside the natural laws of the universe. Yet the Holy See must be very cautious before ruling a miracle. All other explanations must be ruled out.

Unfortunately, in this case, it has been declared 'No Miracle' because they think that Murphy may have buttered the toast on the wrong side!"
Click to expand...

:laugh:
 
I'll tell you something that happened to me, strange things ALWAYS happen to me. I was with my family and we went to a town market day, we parked a wee way from the market as it was busy, we wandered around and said if we get separated we meet back at the car. We all had snacks and we were making our way round and I got separated (1of the kids needed to go toilet break) I turned around and no one was there. After wandering around for 20 mins and decided they must have gone back to the car. So I went back to the car and they weren't there. My son was driving so I didn't have the keys so I sat on a post near the market entrance. This guy was going into the market and asked me what the time was. I replied 2.30 pm then this guy looked at me and said no it's not. This shook me. I said pointing at my watch it's 2.30 . He then replied no it's not. So I'm getting p'd off and just said whatever, he then said he left home at a certain time so I was wrong and walked away. I thought this guys nuts. Btw my phone was in the car. When my son turned up I asked him the time, sure enough my watch was 20 mins late. I laughed to,myself.
 
buckytom said:
For St Pat's day:
"May your kilt be short enough to do a jig, but long enough to cover your lucky charms."

And, the best Irish pickup line that I've ever heard: "You must be Irish because my penis is Dublin"...
Click to expand...

Obviously you have never had Moylan's "Kilt Lifter Scotch Ale".:whistling:
 
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