Caregivers’ chat

Mahalo, thanks everyone.
DH called Mom this morning and she seems to be okay, in his opinion.
We had already planned on going over again tomorrow to check on her eyeball to eyeball.
I wanted to send a message through the patient portal to her PCP, but DH said I may start looking like I'm crying wolf, so just sit back and see what happens.
He said that she wasn't slurring or seemed "buzzed out" as we refer to it as.
I gave a heads up to the Senior Living Community Admin that she had fallen and I know that they keep an eye on the residents.
They even have a list of folks that use wheelchairs or rollators walkers and she wasn't on the list. I made mention that she just got hers a couple of weeks back.
I'd be willing to beat that one of them went to visit her today.
I'll give her a call later this afternoon as well.
 
kaneohegirlinaz said:
Mahalo, thanks everyone.
DH called Mom this morning and she seems to be okay, in his opinion.
We had already planned on going over again tomorrow to check on her eyeball to eyeball.
I wanted to send a message through the patient portal to her PCP, but DH said I may start looking like I'm crying wolf, so just sit back and see what happens.
He said that she wasn't slurring or seemed "buzzed out" as we refer to it as.
I gave a heads up to the Senior Living Community Admin that she had fallen and I know that they keep an eye on the residents.
They even have a list of folks that use wheelchairs or rollators walkers and she wasn't on the list. I made mention that she just got hers a couple of weeks back.
I'd be willing to beat that one of them went to visit her today.
I'll give her a call later this afternoon as well.
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I've been thinking about you and your mother all day. Glad to know she's alright.
 
JAS_OH1 DH & I went over to her apartment late this afternoon and she was till in her PJ's. She said that it makes it easier to go to the bathroom ... WHAT?!
In 48 hours, she's only eaten a piece of toast, half of a Chicken Salad sandwich and about 1 cup of soup, all foods I took over to her TWO DAYS AGO!
"I'm not hungry"
MOM! You have to eat while taking Alieve, it'll ripe your stomach lining to shreds.
"Oh yeah, I forgot to take it yesterday"
:(
DH & I agreed to give her 48 more hours and we'll make a surprise visit and then insist that she go to ER.
I don't think she's gotten out of her La-Z-Boy since she fell, other than the bathroom and the two times to get something to eat.
Her PCP doesn't work on Fridays, so there's that. DH said there's no sense in bringing her into the mix, she'll just say, "take her to ER".
Mom can barely get up out of her chair and then she told me to brush her teeth, she had to sit down it hurt too much.
:ohmy:
MOM!
 
Talked to my brother yesterday. Usually, I’m reporting on how my dad’s perception of reality is skewed, but now it’s affecting my mom.

To recap, they sold their big five-bedroom farmhouse of 50 years and bought a little condo in town a couple of years ago, and shortly after that, my dad broke his hip and was admitted into full-time care, as he has dementia that’s progressed to the severe state, meaning he’s still communicative, but suffers from acute paranoia and delusions, and can’t perform daily basic functions for himself (like dressing himself).

Mom’s always, going way back, had a “different” outlook on things. She sort of constructs her own reality, interprets things her way, and has always been suspicious of everyone and everything. That’s just Mom. She’s always been that way.

Her mind has always been razor sharp though, but now we’re seeing that slipping. Yesterday, my brother called her to check in with her, and she was very upset. She said she’d just been out at “the other house, the old house” checking on things, and that her memory has gotten so bad, she had to drive hours and hours to find her way back to “the new place,” meaning her condo. For the record, the house they sold is about 15 minutes from the condo.

The thing is, none of that happened. She’d been there all day, because another brother had checked in on her first thing in the morning, and my sister was with her for a couple of hours around lunchtime.

Lee was talking to her and trying to calm her down, reminding her that they’d sold the old house a couple of years ago, and she got furious and insisted that she didn’t mean that house, but the other house, and went on to explain that they’d owned two houses, sold the one, bought the condo, so they still owned two houses, and that’s the house she was at, checking up on things.

They’ve never owned two houses at the same time, so it sounds like she’s starting to slip as well. :(
 
TastyReuben said:
Talked to my brother yesterday. Usually, I’m reporting on how my dad’s perception of reality is skewed, but now it’s affecting my mom.

To recap, they sold their big five-bedroom farmhouse of 50 years and bought a little condo in town a couple of years ago, and shortly after that, my dad broke his hip and was admitted into full-time care, as he has dementia that’s progressed to the severe state, meaning he’s still communicative, but suffers from acute paranoia and delusions, and can’t perform daily basic functions for himself (like dressing himself).

Mom’s always, going way back, had a “different” outlook on things. She sort of constructs her own reality, interprets things her way, and has always been suspicious of everyone and everything. That’s just Mom. She’s always been that way.

Her mind has always been razor sharp though, but now we’re seeing that slipping. Yesterday, my brother called her to check in with her, and she was very upset. She said she’d just been out at “the other house, the old house” checking on things, and that her memory has gotten so bad, she had to drive hours and hours to find her way back to “the new place,” meaning her condo. For the record, the house they sold is about 15 minutes from the condo.

The thing is, none of that happened. She’d been there all day, because another brother had checked in on her first thing in the morning, and my sister was with her for a couple of hours around lunchtime.

Lee was talking to her and trying to calm her down, reminding her that they’d sold the old house a couple of years ago, and she got furious and insisted that she didn’t mean that house, but the other house, and went on to explain that they’d owned two houses, sold the one, bought the condo, so they still owned two houses, and that’s the house she was at, checking up on things.

They’ve never owned two houses at the same time, so it sounds like she’s starting to slip as well. :(
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If it gets any worse, have her checked for a UTI. I have known a few older women who had similar delusional experiences and each time it was a UTI. After a round of antibiotics they snapped back quickly. I have a friend who is a male nurse and he said it's the first thing they check when an older woman is admitted with symptoms like that. Younger women feel pain with a UTI but for some reason older women don't always. That might not be it but it's worth checking out. A lot of older women don't drink enough water and kidney function starts to decline. My mother was one of them. Unfortunately, her UTI had gone undetected too long and caused kidney damage (she was living alone In Florida) and she also had a bad reaction to the prescribed antibiotics when my sister took her to the doctor and he found it, so she ended up in the hospital. I drove 14 hours straight and slept in her hospital room during her last days but most of the time she didn't know who I was.

Anyway, I hope your mom doesn't have a UTI of course but I also feel very sad that you have to watch the cognitive decline of your parents.
:hug:
 
Thanks, JAS_OH1, I’ll pass that along.

I know when it was early days with my MIL, she had a very alarming reality break, and it turned out it was brought on by her not eating and drinking enough. That’s what led to her daughters saying, “Enough’s enough, you’re moving in with one of us, like it or not.”
 
TastyReuben said:
Thanks, JAS_OH1, I’ll pass that along.

I know when it was early days with my MIL, she had a very alarming reality break, and it turned out it was brought on by her not eating and drinking enough. That’s what led to her daughters saying, “Enough’s enough, you’re moving in with one of us, like it or not.”
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It's a pretty quick and easy test. Pee in a cup, test urine with a strip, quick diagnosis.
 
What JAS_OH1 said is spot on.

The first time I saw someone go from stark raving mad to completely sane in 48 hours it was a UTI. They are famous for causing madness so always worth checking.

There a some useful bottles on the market that light up to remind you to take a sip every hour or so and some expensive ones that connect to smartphones but the latter is usually too much tech for that age group.

Trying to Drink More Water? Our Top Smart Water Bottle Will Remind You!
 
SandwichShortOfAPicnic said:
What JAS_OH1 said is spot on.

The first time I saw someone go from stark raving mad to completely sane in 48 hours it was a UTI. They are famous for causing madness so always worth checking.

There a some useful bottles on the market that light up to remind you to take a sip every hour or so and some expensive ones that connect to smartphones but the latter is usually too much tech for that age group.

Trying to Drink More Water? Our Top Smart Water Bottle Will Remind You!
Click to expand...
Yes, and sometimes that generation doesn't like water (well even some of the younger generations don't like water--I don't get it!). My mother loved Dr. Pepper and iced tea, but wouldn't drink much water, and of course the caffeine wasn't ideal for hydration, and bacteria loves sugar (bad idea to drink that sweetened commercial cranberry juice with a UTI). In hindsight I should have gotten her a Brita filter or maybe an over the sink filter to make her water taste better (it was very chlorinated city water) or got her some of those sugar free flavor drops to put in water to make it more appealing. I just didn't know because I lived 1,000 miles away from her and only saw her a couple of times a year briefly.

Edited to add: my step-kids other grandma (their mom's mom) had a UTI and no one knew, and she thought that the CIA was spying on her--cars would drive past her house and she was certain that they were videotaping her. After a few days she actually got in her car and was chasing some car (according to the neighbors), speeding down the road, and she then drove to her daughter's house in a panic and told some wild tale that made no sense. My husband's ex took her to the doctor and sure enough, UTI. She was back home within a few days and had no idea what had happened. That was about 10 years ago. She actually lives with her daughter now and has mild cognitive decline, but she isn't seeing CIA agents anymore.
 
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