Update on my mom:
I called her yesterday. The last couple of times I’ve called, she’s sounded listless and tired, even somewhat slurred in speech, but yesterday, she was very alert and snappy with all her responses.
Didn’t matter, though. A lot of what she said was worrying. For example:
“What’d you do today, Mom?”
“Well, nothin’, near as I can tell. No one even came out t’day to take me to see your dad. I’ve a mind to jus’ drive myself over there.”
“Don’t do that, I’ll talk to the others and get someone to take you tomorrow. When’s the last time you talked to Roy?”
“T’day. He came out and took me to lunch.”
“Why didn’t you ask him to see Dad?”
“He offered, but I didn’t want to go.”
All in the same conversation, she said no one had come to see her, my brother Roy came and took her to lunch, no one offered to drive her out to see Dad, and Roy offered and she said no.
Everything we talked about, that’s how it went - contradiction after contradiction.
She was pretty sharpish, too, making snide remarks about her different kids, like:
“Didn’t Tammy see you today? I know she comes by almost every day.”
“No. She
chose to take Deenie out to see Dad. That’s who she
chose to take. Not
me.”
Deenie is my dad’s 89yo sister. And:
“Have you talked to Paul lately?”
“Yes. He comes out reg’lar and brings me all kinds of things from the store. Li’l desserts and microwave things, things like that. Of course, he don’t wanna
take me nowhere. It interferes with his ‘big plans.’”
I have no idea what she meant by “big plans.”
“Well, it’s nice of him to make sure you’ve got some good things there to eat.”
“Yep…as long as he don’t havta bother with me.”
Everything with her has a downside, and that’s all she ever sees. She’s always been that way, extremely negative.
Remember I mentioned her delusion about going to “my other house” to check on things? She told me about that.
It came about because she told me she’s stopped driving, which we both agreed was a good thing. She said that after she went and “spent the night” at her “other house,” and had such a hard time getting back, everyone thought it was best she didn’t drive.
I said, “What other house do you mean?”
“I don’t know, but it’s
exactly like this one here, and it’s in a town
exactly like this one here, and I even have a dog there
exactly like Junior here.”
She said all of this matter-of-factly, and in a tone like, “Beats me, but there you have it.”
Also, the story has changed since she first told my brother about it. It changed from “stopping by to check on things” to “spent the night,” and the whole thing about it being exactly like her current house/town, complete with a doppelgänger dog, is new.
But wait, it gets worse.
She asked how we were doing, and I mentioned that we’d gone up to Amish country for an overnight, did a little food shopping, gotten Dad his raisin fry pie, etc.
“That’s nice. I like them Amish. You know, your grandmom was Mennonite. You know that.”
“Yep, sure do.”
“You know…now that I think on it…that other house of mine
is an Amish house. It’s a cute little Amish house, but just like this one I’m in here, too. That’s right…it’s in Amish country.”
The last thing she said was really sad. She said she’d been to the doctor, and the doctor had no explanation for her confusion and forgetfulness.
“She said I’m a real one-of-a-kind case, somethin’ she’s never seen before.”
“Well, you’re getting older and that can lead to forgetful-“
“That ain’t it! My whole family’s a mess, and there ain’t nothin’ I can do about it! That’s why! Too much worrying’!”
“I know things are rough with Dad, but you can’t worry too much about it.”
“I’m jus’ ready for the nuthouse. Jus’ like your dad.”
…and
that was one of our better calls.
