Caregivers’ chat

Oh-ohhh.
Just had a call from the brother-in-law. My brother's in hospital with a bowel obstruction. Not good. He had cancer at 26 and they radiated him from head to toe. Then about 10 years ago, he had what was supposed to be a minor operation, and when they opened him up, everything was fused together.Operation lasted 13 hours and he ended up with a colostomy bag for 8 months. HOPE this is just something incidental...
 
TastyReuben said:
Maybe it looked like a piece of cake/sponge? Snack cakes come in all sorts of crazy colors here, so I could see that looking a tasty treat if it were a nice mint green or strawberry red, something like that.

Glad he’s no worse for wear!
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Nope - it was just beige. But very strongly scented. Not a foody scent though. He scours the kitchen counter for anything he thinks is food. Strangely, he doesn't raid the fridge.
 
karadekoolaid said:
Oh-ohhh.
Just had a call from the brother-in-law. My brother's in hospital with a bowel obstruction. Not good. He had cancer at 26 and they radiated him from head to toe. Then about 10 years ago, he had what was supposed to be a minor operation, and when they opened him up, everything was fused together.Operation lasted 13 hours and he ended up with a colostomy bag for 8 months. HOPE this is just something incidental...
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Hope it turns out OK...
 
Update on my mom:

Still in a nursing home room and not the attached semi-independent apartments. They’re still evaluating her for that, and also considering putting my parents together in a larger joint room, which I personally think is a bad idea, as my mom has already been caught smacking him around, and does harbor considerable (possibly manufactured) resentment toward him.

Their dog officially has a new home - her neighbor took him in. That’ll be hard on Mom, as we were bringing him over to see her every couple of days, and she really liked that.

She’s still bouncing back and forth between knowing she’s in a nursing home and thinking she’s in a motel. She’s texted us all twice so far, reminding us that someone needs to come pick her up at the motel in the morning because something’s happened to her car.

Also, on a couple of visits, when one of us has arrived, she’s started emptying her dresser drawers and when asked why she’s doing that, she’ll say she’s packing to go home, because she thinks we’ve arrived to pick her up.

Lee, who’s in charge of all her affairs but lives out-of-state, will be down next week to get the condo ready to sell. That’s one bright spot, there’s a waiting list to get into the senior community she was living in, so there’ll be no issue with selling that. It won’t even go on the market.
 
TastyReuben said:
Update on my mom:

Still in a nursing home room and not the attached semi-independent apartments. They’re still evaluating her for that, and also considering putting my parents together in a larger joint room, which I personally think is a bad idea, as my mom has already been caught smacking him around, and does harbor considerable (possibly manufactured) resentment toward him.

Their dog officially has a new home - her neighbor took him in. That’ll be hard on Mom, as we were bringing him over to see her every couple of days, and she really liked that.

She’s still bouncing back and forth between knowing she’s in a nursing home and thinking she’s in a motel. She’s texted us all twice so far, reminding us that someone needs to come pick her up at the motel in the morning because something’s happened to her car.

Also, on a couple of visits, when one of us has arrived, she’s started emptying her dresser drawers and when asked why she’s doing that, she’ll say she’s packing to go home, because she thinks we’ve arrived to pick her up.

Lee, who’s in charge of all her affairs but lives out-of-state, will be down next week to get the condo ready to sell. That’s one bright spot, there’s a waiting list to get into the senior community she was living in, so there’ll be no issue with selling that. It won’t even go on the market.
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Maybe your neighbour would be happy for the dog to go and visit her still.
If it were me I wouldn't mind.
Be nice for the dog too.
 
SandwichShortOfAPicnic said:
Sorry I thought you said she liked it.
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What I meant by that was, if we continue to take the dog over, Mom’s going to ask who’s taking care of him, and between six kids, one of us will spill the beans that he’s got a new home (and I know which one :laugh: ), and from there, it would just go downhill, as her imagination would kick in, and she’d add, “…and they stole my dog from me!” to the list of nonexistent grievances she already has against her entire family and half the town.

I think, once she’s been in there a while, she’ll more or less forget Gomer, or he’ll become a distant thing, and it’ll be better for everyone involved.
 
karadekoolaid said:
Not good news I'm afraid. He passed away on Thursday afternoon. The intestine was, basically, dead. No blood supply.
Not my year. Dad, aunt, mum and now brother, all in the space of 12 months😞
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Very sorry to read, it’s been a terrible year for you and your family. I hope family and friends can find some peacefulness through this.
 
TastyReuben said:
Update on my mom:
and also considering putting my parents together in a larger joint room, which I personally think is a bad idea, as my mom has already been caught smacking him around, and does harbor considerable (possibly manufactured) resentment toward him.
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I hope you guys have informed them about the previous "smacking around." It would cause even more disruption should they put them together and then have to separate them.

Or, they might treat her like they did my dad when he started getting violent, send her to a psych facility so they can get her nice and drugged up so she's no longer violent, then send her back and she pretty much stays in bed and sleeps all day. Just to clarify, I wasn't comfortable with that extent of dealing with him, but his wife was, so not much I could do about it.
 
medtran49 said:
I hope you guys have informed them about the previous "smacking around."
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They were the ones who told us, actually. They had to place my dad off limits to her, at least unsupervised. That was about a week ago, I don’t know if she’s been let off probation since then.
 
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