Experiences travelling abroad

We had a potential project to research on the Bonny River Delta, Port Harcourt, Nigeria and the only access was by boat.

We rented a twin-engined boat and left early morning as we were advised that being on the river after dark was dangerous.

After completing our inspection we were returning when the engine broke down. The owner started to fiddle with it but didn't appear to be having any success. "Just use the other engine" someone suggested. "Other engine broke" said the owner. "Well, maybe we can fix that one" it was proposed, but on removing the engine cover it was discovered that it was not just broke, it was missing altogether!

By this time we were starting to drift from the main river into a small tributary and the light was fading fast. By that time there was very little river traffic left but eventually we managed to flag down (from a distance) a Shell service vessel who diverted to pick us up. We left the boat owner to his own devices.
 
On a job in Qatar I was driving a hire car between an un-manned installation on the deserted desert coast back along the pipeline route to the Doha - Umm Said road when I had a puncture. I opened the boot and found a jack and the spare but upon removing the old wheel discovered that the studs and holes in the spare wheel were at different centres. It was mid morning and getting very hot by this time and the pipeline route was void of any traffic. I guessed that I was probably about 5 or 6 kilometres from the blacktop road but was not prepared to attempt the walk in 45°C plus temperature.

I started the car engine for the aircon and bunkered down to wait. Luckily it was only a few hours before a client's inspector happened along and gave me a lift to the nearest phone (this was long before handphones).

Whilst in Doha I discovered a restaurant which served the best salt and pepper prawns that I've had before or since.
 
It takes almost 24 hours to travel the 580 km between Marrakesh and Tangier on the Marrakesh Express.

[Edit: That was 50 years ago].
 
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In Hong Kong with Joint Venture Chinese representatives we stopped for lunch by the docks on the mainland. We sat in the restaurant whilst one guy went to one of the fishing boats to pick up a couple of fresh live lobsters. The chef cooked them to his instructions and they were beautifully served in their full shells. The Chinese guys were straight in cracking the shell with their teeth and spitting out the inedible bits on the floor. I explained that I couldn't do that and the waiter went looking for a toffee hammer. It took him a while to find one and when he returned the majority of the lobsters were gone.
 
In Damascas one time during Ramadam. I was sat in a restaurant with our Muslim colleagues awaiting the call so that we could eat. The call came and almost everyone in the restaurant (it was full) lit a cigarette. Within seconds it was virtually impossible to see.
 
I had a meeting with our client in San Donato Milanese which went on longer than anticipated and I missed my flight back to UK. I hadn't booked a hotel and not only that, there was a festival of some kind and every hotel within miles of Milan was booked up. The client found me a place some 70 km north of San Donato and kindly arranged a lift for me.

I checked it to the hotel and went down to the restaurant to eat. There was only one other guest in there and the food was self service. I helped myself to a selection which included some very, very rare beef.

Whilst sat eating the food a few more guests entered and I noticed that a couple of them were choosing the beef but giving it to a chef (who had magically appeared) to cook for them.

To avoid embarrassment, I continued to eat my raw beef.
 
I arrived late with a colleague to a hotel in Dussledorf. The restaurant appeared to be closed but in one room there was a selection of food arranged for self service and many people were eating. We went in, picked up plates and helped ourselves to food expecting it would be one price per head. After a few minutes I called a waiter and asked for a couple of beers. He came back with another guy who explained that we were in a private party and whilst he had no objection to us eating the food, he drew the line at giving us beer!
 
My first time in India my boss and I were booked on a morning flight to Bombay from Delhi. Early in the morning my boss rang my room and asked if I was almost ready to leave.

"I don't know".

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

"I'm on the toilet"

"Well, how long are you going to be?"

"Difficult to ascertain, I've been here for three hours already!"
 
I was taken to lunch by a Chinese contractor in Taiwan and they ordered the meal. It started with some form of fish soup and I, as the guest, got the head (snake head fish, I think). I explained that I was not keen on fish heads and they said "just leave it". It was then explained that not many years ago the fish would be cooked with aluminium foil (or before that bamboo matting) around the head and in that way the head would still be alive although the body cooked. They said the eyes would still be moving!
 
One of my VSO colleagues in Eritrea came up with a classic one evening. He asked, or at least thought he asked, for the bill. Unfortunately, his Tigrigna malfunctioned and what he in fact requested of the waiter was a light bulb.

Sadly for the rest of us, the waiter realised what he meant. I was rather looking forward to him coming back with a light bulb on a tray and placing it solemnly on the table.
 
The roads in Iceland are 'interesting' winding at times and a sheer drop :ohmy:
There are roads like that in Eritrea, winding things that go up and down mountains. The hairpin bends are the scariest.

I once got a lift in a pickup truck. The driver insisted on playing his music cassettes, which was fine until they got stuck. His way of dealing with this was to remove the cassette and attempt to sort the things out using a biro. This left no hands for the steering wheel. Less than ideal when you're inches away from a two thousand foot drop.

I am not religious, but I could have used some rosary beads that afternoon.
 
One of my VSO colleagues in Eritrea came up with a classic one evening. He asked, or at least thought he asked, for the bill. Unfortunately, his Tigrigna malfunctioned and what he in fact requested of the waiter was a light bulb.

Sadly for the rest of us, the waiter realised what he meant. I was rather looking forward to him coming back with a light bulb on a tray and placing it solemnly on the table.

 
When in Sydney we went to The Oaks, a pub in Cremorne where they have a butchers counter and a massive bbq in the yard, so you choose your meat, cook it yourself and then fill up at the salad/ veg bar, very enjoyable. We entered and were getting ourselves orientated when a middle aged waitress approached:
"Hi! Have you been here before?"
"Er, no, we haven't"
"Why not?" She asked cheekily
"Er... because we live in England"
"Well that's no bloody excuse!!!!"

I liked her.
 
We did a fly-drive Ireland tour in 2007, beginning and ending in Dublin, but taking in a lot of the southwest and west coasts.

In one B&B, it was just us and. Swiss couple, traveling by motorbike. The owner was a youngish single mom, kid was about six or so.

We came down to breakfast, made to order, and the other couple were already there. The woman came out of the kitchen, asked what we'd like, and we ordered, then she went back, whipped it all up, and brought it back out.

Everything was fine, and after a few minutes, she showed back up with her kid in hand and her coat on.

"How's everyone doing, then, all right? Good. I've got to drop this one off to school, then make a few stops in the village, if you need anything, just help yourself in the kitchen there, and if you're the last one to leave, just make sure the front door is locked on your way out."

That really threw us. We could have ransacked her place, gone through her underwear drawer, drank all her beer, pooped in the back yard, whatever. Of course, we didn't do anything of the sort, but it was a little off to be left in someone's house completely unsupervised.
 
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