Here's my football/soccer story:
We were on that three-week European bus tour back in 1994 (the Bob-And-Doris tour). It was the second-to-last tour of the season, so the coach wasn't even half full, and the makeup of the group was something like four American couples, an Egyptian mom and son, two Australian couples, a Taiwanese couple, a single American woman and a single British woman, and ourselves (Americans living in England).
Well, right off the bat, the English woman was unhappy. How do we know? She told us every minute of every day.
First, she was mad because she was the only British person. Since she booked it in her High Street travel agency, she assumed everyone would be British, or at least most of them, and she was very, very angry to be the only British person there. She glommed onto us after the first day, because we were closer to her age than the Australians, and she flat-out told us, "At least you live in England."
Also, being that she was single and the other solo traveler was single, they had to share a room, and they didn't get along. At all.
Anyway, we were about 17 days into a 21 day trip, and you can get a little road-weary after that, and her crap disposition had only gotten worse.
We were driving along, probably in Switzerland, heading back to Germany and the end of the tour, and we passed a field with some kids playing football/soccer.
The bus was quiet, it was the afternoon, everyone was a little tired, and one of the older American women pointed out the window, and softly said to her husband, "Oh look, dear, those kids are playing soccer."
Well, the British woman had had enough. Being surrounded by Americans for nearly three weeks, confusing chips and crisps and all the other annoying stuff we say, had done her in.
She jumped out of her seat and shouted, "IT'S FOOTBALL! IT'S BLOODY F*****G FOOTBALL! IT'S NOT 'SOCCER!' GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK HEADS! IT'S FOOTBALL!"
Everyone kind of turned around and looked at her, and then Bob started laughing at her, and then everyone else kind of laughed a little, which just made her even madder.
