What made you smile recently?

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An Indian gentleman is on a long flight and is sitting next to Einstein.
Einstein says to the man:
" Since this is a long flight, why dont we have a little competition to pass the time? I ´ll ask you a question, and if you cant answer it, you give me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I cant answer, Ill give you $500.
So the Indian gent said " OK - you go first"
Einstein said: " how far is it to the moon?"
The Indian gent thought and thought, then said " OK. I give up. Heres $5. Now its my turn. What has three legs going up the hill, and four legs coming down?"
Einstein thought and thought and thought, then gave the Indian gent $500.
"OK", said Einstein, But before I ask my next question, I´m curious. What on earth has 3 legs going up the hill and 4 legs coming down???

The Indian gent gave Einstein $5.
 
karadekoolaid said:
Me and my son just laughed.
At the pathetic, pitiable, deplorable, plaintive, feeble, insipid English performance.
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The US men's team is not what they used to be. They are a decent team. Not as accomplished as the US women's team, but improving.

CD
 
caseydog said:
USA and England tied 0-0 today in World Cup competition, so I don't guess anyone gets to smile. :rolleyes:

CD
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What’s the old saying? “Tying is like kissing your sister.” :laugh:

karadekoolaid said:
Me and my son just laughed.
At the pathetic, pitiable, deplorable, plaintive, feeble, insipid English performance.
Click to expand...
I’m reading between the lines here, but I think you may have been somewhat displeased with the team? :wink:
 
It once happened, on a certain day, a bull and a pheasant were grazing on the field. The bull was grazing on the grass, the pheasant was picking ticks off the bull; they are partners, you know?
Then the pheasant looked at a huge tree which was at the edge of the field, and very nostalgically said, "Alas, there was a time when I could fly to the top most branch of the tree, but today I do not have the strength even to fly to the first branch of the tree"
The bull very nonchalantly said, "That's no problem! Eat a little bit of my dung every day, you will see, within a fortnight's time you will reach the top of the tree."
The pheasant said, "Oh, come off it! How is that possible?"
The bull replied, "Really, please try and see. The whole humanity is on it, you could try, too."
Very hesitantly, the pheasant started pecking at the dung, and lo, on the very first day it reached the first branch of the tree. In a fortnight's time, it reached the topmost branch of the tree. It just went and sat on the topmost branch and just enjoyed the scenery. The old farmer saw a fat old pheasant on the top of the tree. He took out his shotgun and shot him off the tree. So the moral of the story is: even bullshit can get you to the top, but never lets you stay there.
 
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What a lovely story!!!

A man once told his son that if he wanted to live a long life the secret was to sprinkle a little gunpowder on his cornflakes every morning. The son did this religiously every morning, and lived to be 93.

When he died, he left 6 children, 11 grandchildren, 27 great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
 
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