What would be your reaction to this - kitchen interference

[SandwichShortOfAPicnic]

The thing about cooking (as opposed to most other creative or craft activities) is that cooking is something that most/many people do as a day to day thing. Therefore, some think they are qualified to interfere 'hands on' in the process when others are cooking. To them its a normal thing to do this as they don't see as your personal creative process.

If you compare this to (for example) landscape painting or knitting, I think it unlikely that many 'visitors' would be so audacious as to pick up palette and brush and start altering the painting you left on the easel or unpick the knitting you left in the basket and knit a few more different rows.

I struggle to see it as anything else other than presumptuous and rude.
If one of my sons is struggling with something they‘re cooking I’ll offer help, if they turn that help down then I’m good with that, even though sometimes it may irk me to see food being cooked badly ultimately it’s about basic respect for another person.

 

[Morning Glory]

I struggle to see it as anything else other than presumptuous and rude.

Oh, I agree. I was just trying to understand why it occurs with cooking but not so much in other 'creative' spheres.

I can't bear anyone anywhere near my kitchen let alone interfering with my cooking.

 

[SandwichShortOfAPicnic]

Oh, I agree. I was just trying to understand why it occurs with cooking but not so much in other 'creative' spheres.

I can't bear anyone anywhere near my kitchen let alone interfering with my cooking.

I think there’s a very basic usually unconscious animal dominance behaviour that occurs when going into someone else’s territory and marking it ie letting the OP know where they stand in the pecking order. Mothers and MIL’s are often shockers for it!
Things like rearranging furniture or overstepping the mark by getting their grandchildrens haircut without asking are obvious, cooking is a more subtle message you’re not as good as them. With mums, older siblings etc I think it occurs when they can’t let go of the old dynamic and appreciate they‘re looking at an adult who should be treated as an equal. With MIL’s I think it’s more of desire to keep control of their son or daughter by dominating the partner, possibly motivated by a fear of not being needed or relevant.
It’s always masked with an excuse of ‘just trying to help’ but we’re all aware of what’s going on or it wouldn’t make us so angry.

 

[rascal]

Neither my mum or m.i.l ever tried to give me advice. They knew I could cook alright. They both had their last 15? Xmas lunches here. Turkey lamb and pork. Great memories of my mum and m.i.l on xmas day.


Russ

 

[JAS_OH1]

I think there’s a very basic usually unconscious animal dominance behaviour that occurs when going into someone else’s territory and marking it ie letting the OP know where they stand in the pecking order. Mothers and MIL’s are often shockers for it!
Things like rearranging furniture or overstepping the mark by getting their grandchildrens haircut without asking are obvious, cooking is a more subtle message you’re not as good as them. With mums, older siblings etc I think it occurs when they can’t let go of the old dynamic and appreciate they‘re looking at an adult who should be treated as an equal. With MIL’s I think it’s more of desire to keep control of their son or daughter by dominating the partner, possibly motivated by a fear of not being needed or relevant.
It’s always masked with an excuse of ‘just trying to help’ but we’re all aware of what’s going on or it wouldn’t make us so angry.

Yes, I'm careful to tread cautiously with people, even my kids and in-laws. The one thing I never have to worry about is my brother and SIL in Houston. They are relieved when I come there, clean the kitchen, go shopping for groceries, and cook. I have known my SIL for 37 years (I'm 4 years older than she is) and I'm closer to her in spirit than any of my blood sisters. She always gives me big hugs and thanks me for taking care of them when I visit

 

[TastyReuben]

It’s always masked with an excuse of ‘just trying to help’ but we’re all aware of what’s going on or it wouldn’t make us so angry.

The last episode of Midsomer Murders I just watched had that as the theme - the mom was killing folks left and right to “protect” her son…even killed the DIL!

 

[SandwichShortOfAPicnic]

The last episode of Midsomer Murders I just watched had that as the theme - the mom was killing folks left and right to “protect” her son…even killed the DIL!

If it’s in Midsomer Muriders it must be true!

 

[TastyReuben]

If it’s in Midsomer Muriders it must be true!

Strangely, there was no perversion going on - usually, MM works out some way to have two people who have absolutely no business getting it on…getting it on.

 

[SandwichShortOfAPicnic]

Strangely, there was no perversion going on - usually, MM works out some way to have two people who have absolutely no business getting it on…getting it on.

You’re right she does
I have two friends who live in nearby Midsomer Norton (where they like to use the place names from) it’s not the sort of place impropriety occurs.. oh no not ever!