Caregivers’ chat

caseydog said:
With everything else going on, the Villages (senior residences) called me and said my mom's dog has to leave. :facepalm:

The dog is a barker. We've been telling my mom that she can't put her out on the patio on nice days to enjoy the sun and breezes. "But she enjoys it soooo much." The neighbors have finally had enough.

My mom is not going to take this well (understatement of the year). She will no doubt tell us that she'll just take her dog and move out. That's not an option.

Anyway, when I come back from Houston next week, I'll be driving, and bringing a dog with me. I'll have to go outside with her anytime she goes out, especially after dark, because she is a little dog -- a nice meal for a coyote or bobcat. The dog is also spoiled rotten, which isn't going to fly in my house. But, the dog does really like me, so she'll adapt to my ways.

CD
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A little dog that's spoilt rotten, not sure the dog will be the one doing the adapting 😆
A lot of small dogs make Machiavelli look slow 🤣
Good luck and good on ya.
 
medtran49 said:
Well, since CD had a psycho poodle, may he RIP, he should be well versed regardless. From what he wrote, I think PP was pretty well spoiled too.
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My mom's dog is a poodle mix. We don't know what the poodle is mixed with. It has short legs, like a dachshund, so maybe that's what the "mix" is.

Pyscho-poodle had a very happy life, but I wouldn't say he was spoiled. He definitely knew the difference between dog food and people food. He didn't beg at the dinner table. My mom's dog will sit next to you, cry, and paw at your leg while you are trying to eat. That's not going to work at my house.

CD
 
Today is dad's memorial service. I have my marching orders and I'm prepared. Of course, Mother Nature has decided that I need a little insomnia to make things interesting. :facepalm:

The biggest thing I will miss about my dad is that he had genuine respect for my thoughts. We did not agree on a lot of things, but he listened to me, and respected me and my thoughts and opinions. My mom has never had much respect for me, although she does at least trust that I will look after her interests until her time comes. No respect... but absolute trust (as far as I know.

I've given up on my sister having any respect for me. My plan forward is to let her make all the decisions regarding my mom, unless I feel like she being extraordinary stupid.

Now, I just have to get my mom's dog to my house, and take care of it. She will be better cared for than she would be if left to my mother to care for. But if I get into a massive car accident, the dog dies, and I end up in the hospital for months, my mom and sister will be pi$$ed at me for "killing" the dog.

CD
 
caseydog said:
Now, I just have to get my mom's dog to my house, and take care of it. She will be better cared for than she would be if left to my mother to care for. But if I get into a massive car accident, the dog dies, and I end up in the hospital for months, my mom and sister will be pi$$ed at me for "killing" the dog.

CD
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Dogs nearly always survive car wrecks as they instinctively go low and small but you'd probably still be in trouble for nearly hurting the dog!

Good luck with the memorial today.

I'm having to rev up to go and see my mum and discuss financial matters that will likely see her tantrum on an epic level.
Like you I am (in part) wanted and rated but not valued or respected.

Due to this I'll attempt to make the right things happen but I think my chances of success are slim so I won't be losing much sleep over it.

I may be well versed in the trajectory she is on having seen it many many times but that makes no difference if she makes daft choices I will just have to watch the highly predictable train wreck unfold in front of me.

It is after all her life to make daft choices with.
 
caseydog said:
My mom has never had much respect for me, although she does at least trust that I will look after her interests until her time comes. No respect... but absolute trust (as far as I know.

I've given up on my sister having any respect for me.
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Really sorry to hear that. Sounds like the last rational link with your family disappeared when your dad passed.
It also sounds like you really make an effort to connect with your mum and sister, so if they're not interested, then I would just say " Sod 'em!" and carry on with a clear conscience. No point in bearing all that opprobium when the solution is in their hands.
 
caseydog - all I can say is, “Families, huh?”

Good luck with the service. If it’s appropriate, I’ll share a little memorial service humor.

I loved and respected my FIL immensely, and I always knew he cared a great deal for me, because unlike his other long-term SIL, I have a good sense of humor, and I was always up for anything he wanted to, and we both had sort of a gusto for food and drink. Nothing against the other SIL, he’s very solid, just an unimaginative type.

My FIL passed somewhat rapidly/unexpectedly, and we all gathered to help my MIL with all the planning, as she was in the beginnings of dementia and wasn’t really capable.

We had his memorial service, then the obligatory luncheon at the church later. When we walked into the dining room, there was MIL, her daughter and SIL, and their two grown kids. We walked over to join them.

With MIL’s dementia, she was apt to blurt out whatever was on her mind, regardless of how it sounded, and as soon as she saw us, she reached for my hand, gave it a squeeze, and very loudly said, “Oh, Tasty! You know Buddy always did love you the best! You were his favorite!”

I actually felt bad for my BIL and all their family just having to stand there while my MIL told me that, but it was also kind of funny.
 
I finally got agreement last week to chase up why my mum’s names still not on the deeds for her house four years after her husbands death. I ignored it all over new year but had to finally face up to writing a letter to my mums solicitor, treading a difficult line between threatening to refer them to the SRA (solicitors regulatory authority) and heeding my mums firm wishes not to upset anyone.

Took a few drafts but I think I finally managed to strike the note between being convivial and menacing 🙄😆

I wouldn’t be at all surprised to hear back that she never instructed them or hasn’t paid her bill or that they are not even the solicitors that were dealing with that.
 
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