Dining Etiquette

[mjd]

Wow, you were in the event business? Amazing! That is such a vivacious industry, or was preCovid...
Well, I guess those are just different serving habits...that explains it, except for the tea, does tea not come with a spoon on its own (like the soup spoon or steaka knife)? As you said, what is the client supposed to do, if she/he already used the teaspoon for the tea, and will eat creme caramel as dessert? Would you say the spoon for the creme would arrive with the creme? Or the client would ask for a new spoon? I'd assume asking for another spoon is no big deal?

How did you feel about it? Did you have thoughts or needs for it to be changed? In what way?

Yes, I loved event planning (except for the grabby business men ;-).

Sometimes tea will come with it's own spoon but not always. I would say it's more common NOT to get one.

Coffee mugs are usually on the table before a patron is seated so one will usually use the spoon in the napkin to stir cream and sugar, if needed. This was not an issue for me as I usually don't drink coffee or hot tea in restaurants.

My ex-husband HATES, HATES, HATES asking any worker for anything in public. He would rather do without than ask anything. He would give me looks if I dared ask for another utensil or more napkins or whatever. So, I just got in the habit of cleaning my and the kids' utensils at the table and reusing them.

Personally, I don't think it's rude to ask for more napkins or cutlery but I've always been told that I provide excellent customer service so things that might bother others really don't bother me. There have been a few times that I couldn't find our server so I've just walked up to the bin and got more napkins and cutlery myself. LOL

One thing that creeps me out more than reusing cutlery is giving back the plate to have food placed in carry-out containers. I ALWAYS just ask for the container and do it myself. This doesn't happen too often as I usually don't save leftovers. I have no idea why but I don't want them to do it in the kitchen.

 

[mjd]

And no half naked men with wide shoulders, muscles and all, tanned, riding a horse? That's a pitty

Nope. I've only received one shirtless guy in a cowboy hat and jeans. And, he looks "too cute" to be a cowboy. ;-)

 

[The Velvet Curtain]

And no half naked men with wide shoulders, muscles and all, tanned, riding a horse? That's a pitty

Sorry, I was busy elsewhere.

 

[The Late Night Gourmet]

We had a thread some time ago about where people eat - I mean at a table or whatever. I must admit I was quite shocked by the number of members who almost never ate at a table. Personally, I hate eating in an armchair or at a computer desk unless its a simple snack. Its not that I'm being 'formal' but that its so much easier and simpler.

We don't often have proper family meals - we have different schedules, so we usually just grab food when it's best for each of us. Since I make most of my food at night, I usually end up eating whatever I've made while sitting on the recliner couch and watching, say, a recording of a TV show or a sporting event. I realize this is a terrible way to eat, and I often end up spilling something on my shirt.

I am a firm believer in the Albert Einstein truism that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Yet, I keep on doing this. Maybe I will break the cycle tonight and eat at the table while I watch TV? Hmmm...probably not.

 

[medtran49]

The cutlery/silverware positioning, yes, familiar. Napkin,yes, in a nice restaurant where you get a cotton one, sure.

Well, I honestly have never heard of all-male waitstaff, before, but that means nothing, as I am a learning ninja

In the U.S., high end European, i.e. French, Spanish and Italian, generally have all male serving staff, even the bus boys, and they will be in formal uniform. It's very rare that you see a woman as part of the wait staff.

The tables will be set up with a decoratively folded napkin on a charger plate, which in most places the person who seats you will pick up, shake it out and offer to you. Of course this is after he has pulled the seat out for you if you are female and your companion doesn't look like he is going to do it. You get different cutlery for each course, which they bring after the old plates and cutlery have been removed and before your next course. A lot of places will also use little brushes to brush any crumbs that might have fallen when you are getting bread out of the bread basket on the table or when you are lifting bread from your bread plate to your mouth. They bring a little plate to brush the crumbs into. Some places will even bring fresh drinking ware when you get water, tea or coffee refills. You will always get a new glass if you are having different wines with different courses.

 

[Timenspace]

generally have all male serving staff, even the bus boys, and they will be in formal uniform. It's very rare that you see a woman as part

The uniform sounds perfect, love that, but there could be male and female versions of it.
And why do you think this is the case?

 

[medtran49]

The uniform sounds perfect, love that, but there could be male and female versions of it.
And why do you think this is the case?

Leftover from times when proper women wouldn't be working in a service position unless it was something like a dressmaker's shop or a general store where their husband was the proprietor and also worked there, i.e. Tasty's grandmother reference.

I edited my post to add other things they do if you want to go.back and read.

 

[Timenspace]

I edited my post to add other things they do if you want to go.back and read

Sure, will do.
Oh ok, I understand now...

 

[Timenspace]

You get different cutlery for each course, which they bring after the old plates and cutlery have been removed and before your next course.

Yes, that all sounds quite right! How it is supposed to be.
You had me giggling at 'if the person one is with does not look like he will...pull the chair'...so sweet. The waitstaff could be, at times, more gentlmeny than the men taking the ladies out. That should not happen too often! Imagine how high the brilliant waitstaff would rate in the dating world...

 

[Timenspace]

Some places will even bring fresh drinking ware when you get water, tea or coffee refills. You will always get a new glass if you are having different wines with different courses.

Yes, definitely, I would love it that way too. Wonderful post. Thank you!

 

[Mountain Cat]

Living alone, i have little in the way of etiquette. As long as how I eat is sanitary, I don't give a fig. Brunch today, for instance, was only partially dressed. I never set the table, and the laptop is near where I am eating.

Things are obviously different out. Or when I can have guests in.

 

[flyinglentris]

I am a firm believer in the Albert Einstein truism that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Yet, I keep on doing this. Maybe I will break the cycle tonight and eat at the table while I watch TV? Hmmm...probably not.

This sounds like the way I do breakfast every morning.

 

[The Late Night Gourmet]

A lot of places will also use little brushes to brush any crumbs that might have fallen when you are getting bread out of the bread basket on the table or when you are lifting bread from your bread plate to your mouth. They bring a little plate to brush the crumbs into.

I have seen this at times, but I didn’t know that there was a bit of a history to the “table crumbers”:

A Brief History of the Table Crumber, the Unsung Hero of Fine Dining

 

[flyinglentris]

I suppose that tipping in restaurants is part of dining etiquette. Some restaurants take the tip out automatically and ensure that some signage or info is provided to customers to inform them of that fact, so that they cannot be accused of theft or gouging to pay their staff. But where you are in control of tipping, what rule do you use?

 

[medtran49]

20% or $5 at minimum, whichever is greater, up to 30% for great service.