Pet Peeves

caseydog said:
Just curious, is it okay if I hold a door open for a lady... um, woman... um, female? Would that be sexist? :scratchhead:

CD
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I hold doors open for people of all genders when I go places. I have been doing that for years. And I like it when people do the same for me. If young people do it, I compliment their good manners making sure the accompanying parent can hear. Positive reinforcement is a good thing.
 
JAS_OH1 said:
I hold doors open for people of all genders when I go places. I have been doing that for years. And I like it when people do the same for me. If young people do it, I compliment their good manners making sure the accompanying parent can hear. Positive reinforcement is a good thing.
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Ditto - although lately I get more people holding doors open for me due to the fact I don't walk as well as I did.
 
I open doors for men, too. They open doors for me. It is pretty rare that a woman opens a door for me, and I'm ok with that.

Bottom line, I just don't read too much into routine gestures and wording. Answering a question with "Yes ma'am" or "No sir" is still common down here in the South. Southern folk recognize that as a polite sign of respect. I imagine that would be a pet peeve for some.

CD
 
caseydog said:
I open doors for men, too. They open doors for me. It is pretty rare that a woman opens a door for me, and I'm ok with that.

Bottom line, I just don't read too much into routine gestures and wording. Answering a question with "Yes ma'am" or "No sir" is still common down here in the South. Southern folk recognize that as a polite sign of respect. I imagine that would be a pet peeve for some.

CD
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Doesn't bother me a bit, but I was raised in the south. Also, my nephews and nieces (even though some are close to me in age) all refer to me as "Aunt" before using my first name. I find that respectful and proper.
 
caseydog said:
BTW, I use the word "gentleman/gentlemen" regularly. I never considered the term "lady/ladies" to be disrespectful. Looks like I'm all wrong again. :facepalm:

CD
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“Lady/ladies” is actually identified in our awareness training at work as a word to avoid, and has been for years, but I still hear it all the time, in and out of work.


JAS_OH1 said:
Doesn't bother me a bit, but I was raised in the south. Also, my nephews and nieces (even though some are close to me in age) all refer to me as "Aunt" before using my first name. I find that respectful and proper.
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I personally don’t like being called Uncle, but that’s just me. Some of my niblings do it, some don’t.

I probably shouldn’t mention that I still refer to them as “the boys,” and “the girls,” even though they’re all grown with kids of their own. I’ll even call the girls “Girlie,” like, “What’s going on, Girlie?” - they don’t seem to care and giggle over it.

It’s different with people you know/family.
 
TastyReuben said:
“Lady/ladies” is actually identified in our awareness training at work as a word to avoid, and has been for years, but I still hear it all the time, in and out of work.
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Does the "awareness training" tell you to avoid "gentlemen?"

We are also not to say the word "actress" anymore. Regardless of gender you are supposed to say actor. I have know idea how "actress" became "sexist."

I guess a pet peeve of mine is having to walk around on eggshells, wondering if I am going to violate The Universal Guide to Political Correctness any time I open my mouth.

CD
 
caseydog said:
Does the "awareness training" tell you to avoid "gentlemen?"

We are also not to say the word "actress" anymore. Regardless of gender you are supposed to say actor. I have know idea how "actress" became "sexist."

I guess a pet peeve of mine is having to walk around on eggshells, wondering if I am going to violate The Universal Guide to Political Correctness any time I open my mouth.

CD
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Gentleman/men - yes, it’s also included in the examples. Basically, the gist of it is to use gender-neutral terms whenever practical/possible. Interestingly…”guy” is considered an acceptable gender-neutral term.

Actor/actress (and all of the associated “-ess” words don’t really bother me. I just say actor, because a performer’s gender identity or biological sex doesn’t pertain to the conversation I’m having, so there’s no need to distinguish it.

I’ve always found it far, far more confusing that we have words like actress and hostess or waitress, but we don’t say doctoress or teacheress or cashieress. 🤷🏻

Language changes, it always is and always will.
 
TastyReuben said:
Gentleman/men - yes, it’s also included in the examples. Basically, the gist of it is to use gender-neutral terms whenever practical/possible. Interestingly…”guy” is considered an acceptable gender-neutral term.

Actor/actress (and all of the associated “-ess” words don’t really bother me. I just say actor, because a performer’s gender identity or biological sex doesn’t pertain to the conversation I’m having, so there’s no need to distinguish it.

I’ve always found it far, far more confusing that we have words like actress and hostess or waitress, but we don’t say doctoress or teacheress or cashieress. 🤷🏻

Language changes, it always is and always will.
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Waiter and waitress is now "server."Hi, I'm (John/Sarah), I'll be your server."

CD
 
caseydog said:
Does the "awareness training" tell you to avoid "gentlemen?"

We are also not to say the word "actress" anymore. Regardless of gender you are supposed to say actor. I have know idea how "actress" became "sexist."

I guess a pet peeve of mine is having to walk around on eggshells, wondering if I am going to violate The Universal Guide to Political Correctness any time I open my mouth.

CD
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Well it was probably 25 years ago or more that the term "server" became commonplace instead of "waitress" and "waiter", as well as "host" being appropriate for either gender. So there are lots and lots of things that can be perceived as sexist I guess. It wouldn't bother me if someone said I was a good hostess. I like gender specificity in terminology because that's what I was used to. Now I am getting used to politically correct and it's just whatever.
 
caseydog said:
I've gotten used to waitresses female servers (half my age) referring to me as "sweetie" or "honey." I wish they wouldn't, but I guess it was how they were raised.

CD
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I think that just speaks to living in the south. I am not a big fan of it either.
 
caseydog said:
I've gotten used to waitresses female servers (half my age) referring to me as "sweetie" or "honey." I wish they wouldn't, but I guess it was how they were raised.
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Pop over to Venezuela and they´ll refer to you as " my love", "my heaven", or maybe "my darling".
The only thing missing is that they take you home as well.:laugh::laugh:
 
I like it when females call me a term of endearment. Men too but depending on what the term is and if we have a relationship of some sort. I don't like "Babe." My daughters and I went out to lunch last Sunday and the server kept addressing me as "Sweetheart." I did not like that but he still received a great tip, LOL.
 
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