Sort of related, and it’s just meant to be a funny little story:
My favorite self-checkout guy at Kroger is a fellow named Andy. I love him because about 15 years ago, I was in Kroger, in a bad mood, and I was looking for a little sewing kit, and I couldn’t find it.
I strongly disliked the store manager at the time, and that’s who was working customer service, so when I asked and she was less than helpful, I wasn’t surprised, but it ticked me off even more.
I went grumbling away, and there was Andy, on his first day of real work, all of 16 or 17, croaky puberty voice, scrawny, pimples, and bubbling with enthusiasm.
“Sir! Sir! I…I…I know whe…whe…where those are,” he stuttered, so excited I’m surprised he didn’t pee himself, “Fa…fah…follow me!”
Away we went, and he led me right to them, end of an aisle, all the way on the bottom shelf.
“I like this kid, he’s all right,” I thought, and from then on, whenever I saw him, I’d tell him hi and call him by name.
Nowadays, he’s over 30, has a junk food belly, and is perpetually seething. My assumption is that he’s watching his life go by, still stuck in the same job, and his whole day is spent going over and clearing errors and putting in birthdays for alcohol purchases on self-scan machines.
I see him twice a week, and this is how it goes, every time:
“Hi Andy! How’s it goin’ today?”
“Helloooo,” sort of a tired sing-song voice.
<scan…scan…beep!…here comes Andy>
“Yeah, it thinks I didn’t scan that, but I-“
“goddam stupid piece of goddam crap stupid goddam machine!” - all mumbled just under his breath, like Fred Flintstone when he used to mumble “razzle fratzen…” in the cartoons.
<presses some buttons>
“There you go…all cleared…thanks!…” - same faux cheerful sing-song voice as before.
For some reason, I’m genuinely fond of him, yet I take some delight that life has kicked him in the teeth a little, just like the rest of us, and if I’m here another 20 years, I look forward to seeing 50-something Andy, all bald with stiff knees, working a virtual register, or whatever we have by then.
