Does your partner cook?

[JAS_OH1]

My husband likes Cheetos. I buy them for him in mass quantities when they are on sale. He doesn't putter, he is impatient and wants to get in and out. I go through the store in order and I do have a list, but sometimes I ponder on which package of meat I want to buy, comparing different ones until I find the steaks with the best marbling/least amount of gristle or whatever, and there are times where I see something not on my list and I get it (especially when they discontinue and mark down things like a good shampoo or conditioner, then I grab a bunch).

I can't send him to the store without a very specific list because he tends to overbuy. If I ask for 1 avocado, he will get 3, then 1 or both of them go bad because I only wanted one. He's not good at picking produce and meat, and he will get stuff not on my list that I don't want and he ends up not eating, so he can't go unsupervised unless it's something simple, LOL.

You should give her specific instructions regarding the phone thing, tell her to have her phone in her hand because you will be calling her or texting her most likely. At least we have that much worked out. If we get separated in a store (I will usually send him to a specific part of the store to get something for me to make it faster) we will text. Or, we have a specific plan worked out where we both take carts and meet at the register.

But all that is to the wayside until a vaccine is created, since now I do all my shopping online for curbside pickup and he no longer has to worry about me sending him to the store to get things.

 

[caseydog]

Except when it was required for his job, my dad, to this day, will not go in a grocery store. He drops my mom off at the door, then parks and sits in the car.

For most of their life together, my dad had his job, his career. That's what he did and reaped his reward by retiring President of a Fortune 500 company.

Mom did all the cooking, cleaning, and most of the kid raising. That and watch her soap operas.

When dad retired, he did not kick back and relax. These days, he does most of the cooking, cleaning (between visits from the maid), and whatever else he can find to keep busy. He goes to Kroger every day, even during Covid-19. He drives to the post office to mail letters. He can find more ways to drive places than anyone I know. Oh, and he's 88 and has cataracts.

Mom is 86, and can barely walk. She uses a walker to get around. She leaves the house to go to church or out for dinner with my dad.

I can't cook with either of them in the kitchen, although it is almost impossible to keep my dad out. I usually give him a task to do to keep him from hovering over me.

My sister and I are fine in the kitchen together.

CD

 

[Milkduds]

My parents both cooked. They mostly made us kids clean. My mom taught me to bake and my dad could cook anything (yes absolutely anything) in a dutch oven over a campfire. When they forced us to go camping my dad would get up before dawn to start a fire and make biscuits and who knows what else.
I am chief cook and bottle washer around here and also solo shopper. We can't shop together, she gets very annoyed and I don't know what I did LOL. I am happy to have her out of my hair. When she goes shopping she brings home loads (I'm talking actual cases) of candy bars, usually more than 10 bags of chips and god knows what else. I buy produce and ingredients for dishes I want to make so I don't need her input. I do buy her candy and chips but not on the scale she does.
All in all it works out, I like to have complete control of my domain (the kitchen) and she is happy to let me do it all.

 

[JAS_OH1]

Milkduds, I should mail you some kids' gummie vitamins. They are all natural and made with tapioca pectin instead of animal products for the chew factor (yeah, a lot of people don't realize that's where the chewy part comes from in their gummies, gelatin made from animal bones and cartilage). They are sweetened with cane sugar (not a ton) but have vitamins and minerals that your wife would like. I am betting she doesn't like taking supplements, especially in pill form. I have a ton of stuff left over from when I was doing demos in health food stores (which of course have come to a screeching halt due to COVID-19).

 

[JAS_OH1]

Caseydog, my parents were old school as well, though my mom did get a job in the late 70s and worked for the rest of her life. Dad was a pilot, a veteran of 3 wars and a retired AF Colonel. He got into real estate after he retired. My dad would have turned 96 this year if he were still alive and my Mom 93. She died on his birthday, May 22nd.

My mom's younger sister just turned 90 last year. She has cataracts, too. She finally gave up her driver's license (she got into a small fender bender last year) and moved in with my oldest cousin who lives in Bridge City. It scared all of us when she drove over that bridge (you know the one I am talking about) going from Bridge City to Port Neches to see my other aunt. I feel really bad that she has to stay home all the time, but it's especially important now.

 

[caseydog]

Caseydog, my parents were old school as well, though my mom did get a job in the late 70s and worked for the rest of her life. Dad was a pilot, a veteran of 3 wars and a retired AF Colonel. He got into real estate after he retired. My dad would have turned 96 this year if he were still alive and my Mom 93. She died on his birthday, May 22nd.

My mom's younger sister just turned 90 last year. She has cataracts, too. She finally gave up her driver's license (she got into a small fender bender last year) and moved in with my oldest cousin who lives in Bridge City. It scared all of us when she drove over that bridge (you know the one I am talking about) going from Bridge City to Port Neches to see my other aunt. I feel really bad that she has to stay home all the time, but it's especially important now.

Mom had to work about five years while my dad finished college. He got a late start because he was drafted into the Army. But, he never saw combat, and got a paid college education for two years of service -- in San Antonio. Once he got his first post-college job, mom stayed home to cook, clean, shop and make babies.

That's the rainbow bridge you mentioned. There used to be only one, and traffic was one lane each way. 230 feet above the Neches river.

CD

 

[JAS_OH1]

I remember. It took them the longest time to get around to finally finishing that second bridge. My dearly departed uncles John and Richard were both boat captains and came up through that river often.

 

[JAS_OH1]

Mom wouldn't let Dad do the dishes - she called the results with water splashed everywhere, "water buffalo activity".
(Of course, I wouldn't be able to get away with that! )

That would be fine if my husband got water everywhere. It's when I have to rewash most, if not all, of the dishes afterwards that it gets tiresome. After all this time he doesn't understand that there are two sides to a dish and both sides need to be washed. Oh, also, he doesn't get the idea of friction. For a strong man, you'd think he could put a little muscle into it when he scrubs!

 

[Morning Glory]

Also, when she goes, half the food order is Oreos, Cap'n Crunch, Pringles, peanut butter M&M's, and the like.

When she goes shopping she brings home loads (I'm talking actual cases) of candy bars, usually more than 10 bags of chips and god knows what else.

There is a common theme going on here.

 

[medtran49]

Mother cooked. Daddy didn't very much. He managed to actually melt a pot and caused a small fire when he was boiling water for something when I was very young. Even after he lived on his own after the divorce, he didn't cook much, either went out or heated up frozen dinners.

 

[JAS_OH1]

My dad made the best banana pancakes! He also knew how to grill steaks without burning them; they came out with a great sear, medium rare every time. His favorite steak was a porterhouse. When I was a kid I could eat a whole 16 oz. steak (a little under 1/2 a kilo) and I was skinny as a rail. Now it's all I can do to eat 4-6 oz. portions. My mom was an excellent baker. I remember her homemade Amaretto chocolate cheesecakes and her German chocolate cakes that took her hours to make. She made great lasagna, shrimp Creole, and fried chicken. She could cook wonderful, upscale meals when she wanted to do so. But budget called for tuna casserole more often than not.

 

[ElizabethB]

G likes to cook what I call "Camp Food". I know, I am guilty of cooking large batches - soups, stews, gumbo, beans, but I do Vacuum Seal and freeze. G does not know how to cook for two. He says "We can always freeze it". Meaning I can freeze it. Then he complains about eating leftovers.
His idea of a Venison stew is to boil the meat to death in water and add some savories, spices and veggies. He is learning. He kinda sorta understands the difference between boiling and braising. He also uses beef or chicken broth instead of water. I have been trying to teach him how to make a gravy instead of just using what ever liquid is left in the pot.
He makes a hot mess. He tries to be helpful but has never learned how to wash dishes. He runs hot water over whatever he is washing, gives it a couple of swipes with a brush or scrubby and call it clean. He only swipes the inside of pots and pans and the top side of dishes.
I have a dishwasher but have not used it for a couple of years. I gave G that as a project. He thinks he has it fixed. I hope he is right. When he is out of town I wash my dishes by hand as I use them. With him home 24/7 I get tired of washing dishes. If I have a pile up I will ask him to dry and put away the dishes. Even that is a trial. "Where does this go?' As if he does not know what cabinet the dishes live in.
Grocery shopping - SIGH - i don't even want to go there right now. For the last three months he has done the shopping. He is on his way to Costco right now. No telling what unnecessary, duplicate items he will come home with. This is the last time he shops on his own. I am ready to get back out there and do the grocery shopping. I will wear a mask and gloves.

 

[JAS_OH1]

"Where does this go?' As if he does not know what cabinet the dishes live in.

No. No, he doesn't. He doesn't know which cabinet!

My husband is the same way. When I was working a lot, he would put away the dishes from the dishwasher in an honest attempt to be helpful. Now I do wash my nice dishes by hand and always my pots, pans and knives, but we have some everyday flatware, cooking and serving spoons, and dishes, along with glassware (except for the nice wine glasses) that can go in the dishwasher. But things would get put away in the wrong places regularly. Next to my stove I have a vertical line of 5 narrow, long drawers perfect for cooking and serving utensils. I keep solid spoons in the top drawer. I open it while cooking to grab one, and it's got slotted spoons mixed in. In the spatula drawer there are tongs and solid and slotted spoons mixed in. The vegetable peeler ends up in the flatware drawer sometimes. We have been together 21 years and he still hasn't figured it out!

 

[rascal]

For most of their life together, my dad had his job, his career. That's what he did and reaped his reward by retiring President of a Fortune 500 company.

Mom did all the cooking, cleaning, and most of the kid raising. That and watch her soap operas.

When dad retired, he did not kick back and relax. These days, he does most of the cooking, cleaning (between visits from the maid), and whatever else he can find to keep busy. He goes to Kroger every day, even during Covid-19. He drives to the post office to mail letters. He can find more ways to drive places than anyone I know. Oh, and he's 88 and has cataracts.

Mom is 86, and can barely walk. She uses a walker to get around. She leaves the house to go to church or out for dinner with my dad.

I can't cook with either of them in the kitchen, although it is almost impossible to keep my dad out. I usually give him a task to do to keep him from hovering over me.

My sister and I are fine in the kitchen together.

CD

I cannot cook with daughter in the kitchen, we always end up arguing. We did however work together making samosas, I premade the mix, she shaped the pastry and assembled, I'm lousy at fiddly assembling. The only time I remember working with her. She's a far better baker than I. She's also a good cook.

Russ

 

[Mountain Cat]

I'm the opposite. Just like cooking, I want to do my shopping solo. I'm a very single-minded shopper when I have a list, and I usually have a list, and I just have a quick nature anyway.

MrsTasty does not. She's a plodder, and a browser, and she has no issue with starting in aisle 9, then moving over to aisle 2, then on to aisle 3, then back over to aisle 9...it's maddening.

I seldom went with my parents when they grocery shopped. I do know they had a list, and that there were impulse buys. The seafood department was usually impulse buys as you don't know what is really fresh, or what might be different the day you are shopping. They'd shop at two or three places partially because one was exclusively Asian, and they were big on Asian, and the other usual two would have either better deals, or the one would simply have better produce (with practically no housecleaning things) and so they'd go to both. I think they largely strolled around together, with Dad perhaps going off to the seafood area often by himself.

For most of their life together, my dad had his job, his career. That's what he did and reaped his reward by retiring President of a Fortune 500 company.

Mom did all the cooking, cleaning, and most of the kid raising. That and watch her soap operas.

When dad retired, he did not kick back and relax. These days, he does most of the cooking, cleaning (between visits from the maid), and whatever else he can find to keep busy. He goes to Kroger every day, even during Covid-19. He drives to the post office to mail letters. He can find more ways to drive places than anyone I know. Oh, and he's 88 and has cataracts.

CD

Dad took early retirement at 25 years of employment at his company. However, he went into business partnership with a fellow in Philadelphia, conducting business by phone and snail mail, and with some business trips. Prior to retirement, he cooked on Saturdays and Sundays (and holidays). Once he was in a partnership, he could make his own hours and almost always was able to work from home. (Mom became his typist. I became his periodic Spanish to English translator, and occasionally, with dictionary at hand, his English to Spanish translator, for some of the contract letters sent back and forth.) During the 25 years of his first employment, he didn't usually do the regular shopping, but he WOULD make time to go to Chinatown and to Little Italy in New York City on weekends - because cooking was his hobby. Mom always went with him, and we kids usually as well.