Lifestyle changes

MypinchofItaly said:
Lately I can’t sleep very well so I went to a pharmacy asking for a natural essence that allow me to have at least 6 hrs of good night’s sleep and not being too much “lost” during the day.
I’ll take few drops starting from tonight. I’ve never used them before, thus I have no idea about their effects on me. But I need a little help.
I started to run again pretty regularly, a good thing for my physical and mental health.
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Can you share more about what they are and how they help? I used to use essential oils and flower essences when I had my children. I would often stream calming music overnight so they could rest well. I'm curious about what you are specifically using.

I'm happy to hear you're back to running and it's helping. I think the whole world is exhausted with this "new normal" since COVID started. I know I am.
 
Windigo said:
Very good of you to run, it will help with sleeping too! I hope you will soon feel better :hug:

My husband and I both are sleeping badly, we both have got sleeping meds now due to the situation with Stepson. It's likely he's going to be rejected again by the new facility, and we're running out of options.
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Oh, dear. I must have missed something. Wasn't he with his grandmother?

I'm sending you a pm.

Hugs my friend.
 
Doing okay. Slept through the night. Physical therapy this morning. I am going through some stuff and today is going to be stressful. My therapist put me in for us to speak this evening. Several of my friends have emailed me their support and that really helps. I don't feel so alone. I'm letting all the kind words embrace me. I didn't come this far to give up now. I'll make it through the day. No setbacks.

How is everybody doing?
 
mjd said:
Oh, dear. I must have missed something. Wasn't he with his grandmother?

I'm sending you a pm.

Hugs my friend.
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Hey I'll get back to you in PM :hug: but I am too tired now.

Just in short: stepson was never meant to go to his grandma, as she's very old and very frail + chronically ill. But she demanded he come live with her because 'no grandson of mine ends up on the street' which is admirable were it not that his illness is far beyond her ability to care for and it's not without reason that both my husband and I have a burnout from caring from him and he gets rejected and thrown out from mental health institutions all the time. That's because his illness is extremely servere and he does not cooperate with anything.
Currently he is defecating and urinating anywhere in her house, destroying stuff and being generally unmanagable. So from day one, it's been extremely urgent that he goes to another care home but nobody wants him because of exactly the above.
All we can do now is wait for him to become legally insane, which he will be in a about two months and then from there we can take more serious measures. Right now most problems are because he's legally still sane and can refuse treatment.

When I came to live with my husband, my stepson was still relatively 'normal' but the past two years have seen him descend into full blown madness. It is really sad, but as long as he can refuse treatment he will only keep destroying everything he comes across, including himself
:(
 
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mjd said:
Doing okay. Slept through the night. Physical therapy this morning. I am going through some stuff and today is going to be stressful. My therapist put me in for us to speak this evening. Several of my friends have emailed me their support and that really helps. I don't feel so alone. I'm letting all the kind words embrace me. I didn't come this far to give up now. I'll make it through the day. No setbacks.

How is everybody doing?
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Hope your intent came to fruition! :hug: You deserve it.
 
mjd said:
I don't mean to intrude so feel free not to answer. Did you start smoking when you were very young? I ask because my mother smokes about 3-4 packs a day and has never tried to quit. She is a big woman (about 5'10" and heavy set). She'd come in my room, sit on top of me and start slapping me to wake me up and make me go buy her cigarettes. I don't even want to think about how evil she would be if she did NOT have her cigarettes. LOL

The thing is I know several people that successfully stopped smoking and the only commonality I can see between them is they didn't start in high school and they never smoked more than a pack a day.

For what it's worth, I think you are doing great. It's hard to change habits (it takes at least seven repetitions for the brain to process change). You'll get there. I believe in you!
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Ah no, I don’t mind, not intrusive at all.
I’ve never been a real smoker, the max I smoked was a number around 10 daily.
I cut it down a couple of times both for long time. Then stress took them back and I welcome them again 😅
But never over the 10 daily, maybe sometimes 12 but no more than this.
I started in my 20s.
Now I’ve found a sort of balance (well, I’m expecting to cut them off again) only with 2 a day.
Thank you for your kind words! sometimes it’s hard not to light a third or fourth cigarette but I’m coping with that.
 
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mjd said:
Can you share more about what they are and how they help? I used to use essential oils and flower essences when I had my children. I would often stream calming music overnight so they could rest well. I'm curious about what you are specifically using.

I'm happy to hear you're back to running and it's helping. I think the whole world is exhausted with this "new normal" since COVID started. I know I am.
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Here it is. Sedatol gocce, I take 10 drops to dilute in water.
I am less anxious and I sleep well which is the most important thing and not waking up as if I just crushed against a wall 😅. Not feel asleep during the day, I have energy enough.
Then having started to run helps, I missed to run very much as it was a safety valve beside being a physical exercise to stay fit.

65864
 
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Windigo said:
Hey I'll get back to you in PM :hug: but I am too tired now.

Just in short: stepson was never meant to go to his grandma, as she's very old and very frail + chronically ill. But she demanded he come live with her because 'no grandson of mine ends up on the street' which is admirable were it not that his illness is far beyond her ability to care for and it's not without reason that both my husband and I have a burnout from caring from him and he gets rejected and thrown out from mental health institutions all the time. That's because his illness is extremely servere and he does not cooperate with anything.
Currently he is defecating and urinating anywhere in her house, destroying stuff and being generally unmanagable. So from day one, it's been extremely urgent that he goes to another care home but nobody wants him because of exactly the above.
All we can do now is wait for him to become legally insane, which he will be in a about two months and then from there we can take more serious measures. Right now most problems are because he's legally still sane and can refuse treatment.

When I came to live with my husband, my stepson was still relatively 'normal' but the past two years have seen him descend into full blown madness. It is really sad, but as long as he can refuse treatment he will only keep destroying everything he comes across, including himself
:(
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I've been following your story. I can't imagine how difficult it must be but I think you are right to stay strong and refuse to take him back. There is a limit to the amount of stress and disruption that anyone can tolerate. His grandmother must be at the end of her tether. I'm so sorry. The sooner he can be in professional care, the better and it seems wrong that he can't get that for now.
 
Morning Glory said:
I've been following your story. I can't imagine how difficult it must be but I think you are right to stay strong and refuse to take him back. There is a limit to the amount of stress and disruption that anyone can tolerate. His grandmother must be at the end of her tether. I'm so sorry. The sooner he can be in professional care, the better and it seems wrong that he can't get that for now.
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It definitely hurts, you don't want to see any child on the streets and even less a child/stepson of your own.
But he is not a child, he is 21 and a legal adult who refuses to get treatment and expects everyone to put up with his issues. On top of that he can get violent and abusive.
So thats where we have to draw a line, if only to protect his younger brother.
He is NOT coming back here no matter what, and therefore our last hope is him getting declared insane and getting institutinalized. It isn't quite what a parent hopes for, but better than him being homeless.

His grandmother now, also agrees he can't live with anyone like this. So she supports our decision to declare him insane finally.
 
Windigo said:
His grandmother now, also agrees he can't live with anyone like this. So she supports our decision to declare him insane finally.
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That's good. I think you are doing the right thing however difficult. I'm not sure if it would take so long in the UK to get him 'sectioned'. But obviously the system is different in the Netherlands.
 
Morning Glory said:
That's good. I think you are doing the right thing however difficult. I'm not sure if it would take so long in the UK to get him 'sectioned'. But obviously the system is different in the Netherlands.
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Unfortunately our mental health system is very privatized, and there's no profit in caring for severely ill people like him so there are very few places who want him. Even less when he's still ' sane' because then they can't take measures to prevent him doing damage.

So as a last resort he needs to be declared insane now, which is a sad thing indeed because that means he will be facing a hard time. But he would without treatment as well.
 
Had an off day - ate as much calories as I used to eat before the diet. Probably because I've been completely knackered due to sleeping problems. Now I have a tummy ache.
On the bright side: having that tummy ache shows my body isn't used to this much food anymore :)

3452 steps today. Back again at it tomorrow and certainly done eating today.
 
Windigo said:
Had an off day - ate as much calories as I used to eat before the diet. Probably because I've been completely knackered due to sleeping problems. Now I have a tummy ache.
On the bright side: having that tummy ache shows my body isn't used to this much food anymore :)

3452 steps today. Back again at it tomorrow and certainly done eating today.
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It may happen that the lack of sleep is compensated to some extent by eating a little too much, but it is only temporary and the fact that your body has now got used to a change is good news, as you say.

It's good that you continue to walk a lot :highfive:
I'm going for a run later today and hope I don't collapse from the heat! Maybe I should wait until midnight :laugh:
 
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